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Quick Poem Thread

  • 30-06-2004 01:31PM
    #1
    Naos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,740 ✭✭✭


    Spirit

    If dreams cloud and lakes reflect
    When told to follow, we must lead
    What happens those who must defect
    Who are now immortalised with the dead?

    Dont be afraid to comment..


Comments

  • #2
    Naos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,740 ✭✭✭Naos


    Guys this is one of the poems from my 2nd book of poems.
    Just though i'd put it up here to see what you all think,
    any feedback pos/neg would be greatly appreciated..


  • #3
    BEAT
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,945 ✭✭✭BEAT


    I would say it has a good beginning, but it seems cut off for the subject matter...4 line poems need to be more concise, more complete, and therefore are difficult to write.
    Being artistic does require a bit of work sometimes ;)

    I would like to see what other types of poems you have, please share them at your liesure.


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