Feeling stuck in my boyfriend's family business.

That tenancy agreement isnt worth anything, she is a lisencee, meaning she only gets a weeks notice. If you say you are leaving expect consequences and repercussion. "When did Noah build the Ark? Before it rained". Have that job got at Lidl or Aldi and new tenancy agreed. I am not sure that your boyfriend can make that jump with you. With your boyfriend its making your mind up time, its either time to get married or finish up. If you cannot decide after a year you can never decide.

That is perfect for the Father, keeps them right under the thumb with the tenancy. The real truth is the OP has probably been the day to day manager for the last two years and has a wealth of experience. Good retail staff are impossible to find. I know my wife was a manager in a slightly different circumstance to yourself (the bosses little darling fix it all manager but no money or proper compensation for it). These people do not negotiate or put everything on the never never until they cannot ignore it. Honestly OP, even though we see you carrying the shop and business (and boyfriend) they do not see it that way. They will NOT come to the negotiating table to meet you with serious intent.

A lot of very serious decisions are going to be made with far reaching consequences for all three parties (OP, Boyfriend, Shop). When these decision happen and what plays out afterwards there can be no undoing them. My wife was in similar position and as soon as the owner heard, it came as a shock to him and the wife, they were down the next day to see what could have been done. It was a case of she told them 18 month previously and she was put on the long finger.

I dont mean to trod down on anyones business but the larger independent corner shop is on the way out. Lidl and Aldi are already in every secondary country town. In five years they will be in every large village. I see the traditional family shop being taken over by foreign families with greater cohesive power like in the UK. I saw my own wifes shop where the staff couldnt pull together as a team and it is now falling apart. I see no working for the greater good in this family. I see no spread of benefits and no inheritance and retirement plan. I just see two tired people working as slave labour. There fore there is no third generation to pass the shop onto.

Oh yeah it is framed very deceptively. It is always like a utopian society but they never get there. The OP and her boyfriend have missed a lot of milestones in their lives. How many more do they have to miss to realise the sham the father is running.

When you are on disability you are allowed work a certain amount of hours. There is no chance of getting a mortgage without two incomes. Been there done that. I was in that place, they wont say it but…….. they will tell you no without a reason. That auld lisences is a right gun to the head, "Do as I say or you are homeless next week". Total control freak.

Lesson to be learned when interviewing for a job, if they ever say "We are like family", run.

And your bf has no chance of ever being assessed for a mortgage. He is living on social welfare in the eyes of the system and any bit of pity money he gets is probably under the table so not declarable.

You are 35 and currently have no pattern of a secure income, savings, no assets.

Yup as someone else said, they need you more than you need them because if..and it's a stretch.. that the business is eventually signed over to you both, or even just him, you've said so yourself OP, mentally he won't manage it by himself. You're going to be propping up this family for the rest of your life essentially.

Is this man really worth it?

You say you have a great family back at home.

Is it time to go home?

I feel genuinely sorry for you and the situation you have landed yourself into. You have drip fed information about this a little at a time building a picture of abuse at the hands of an uncaring family and personal desperation. Just now the bombshell: 21 hours wages per week for what appears to be 80 hours work/slavery. It is truly shocking that this type of modern slavery is happening to a vulnerable young woman in this age.

You have been lied to and treated like a fool by the father, mother and son. They have systematically abused your feelings and you have accepted it because blinded by love you probably thought that you could help him, but you can't while inside that toxic family. You are not the first person to fall for this type of stunt.

Take the next bus out of that god forsaken village, or spend the rest of your life in misery.

Apologies for being blunt, but you deserve better in life.

You are been walked on so get out as soon as possible to at least build your own career and get everything above board .You will regret it when its maybe too late if you allow the current situation continue .The best of luck to you ,you deserve so much better .

The father knows rightly what game he's playing. Do you honestly not see what he's doing wrong? He's exploiting the OP and her BF. He's breaking several labour laws. And there's no way on earth he's letting this 'foreign lass' get any hold on his business.

Do not resign until have everything in place. New job start date AND new accommodation. Place yourself in the fathers psyche, he will kick you to the kerb before he finishes reading the letter in a fit of rage. He will actually have to pay someone to do your hours. I am guessing you are racking up about 60 hours a week and have to pay tax on it too. Thats a load of money. Expect paper work problems exiting. Dont expect a reference.

I sympathise with your situation. I would suggest, however, that you separate your romantic involvement from your employment as much as you can.

As has been suggested already, get your CV sorted and begin applying for other jobs. Your experience would be a big selling point for many retail employers. Only resign when you have another opening secured.

Your BF can make up his own mind. Perhaps he will continue to work in the family business , or not, and you can then assess you relationship without having to fear for your employment or accommodation.

Do not make any plans on the basis of what someone else, the father, might leave as an inheritance. The inheritance might never come about, or if it does , it might have various conditions. For instance, the shop might be left in a trust for your bf to allow him continue to receive disability allowance. etc. Siblings might challenge any will. Especially if the father has indicated his preference for the sister to get involved in the business.

So, my two cents worth, is get your CV sorted, get another job, and then evaluate you relationship. In that order

The boyfriend is so affected by mental illness that doctors have certified he is unfit for full time work, and expected to be like that for life.

I have some sympathy for the family, who are foing what they know to support a family member who would not be able to get work elsewhere. Only some, because they are also exploiting his girlfriend.

We have no idea if the business is even making money: Revenue by itself is irrelevant. Profit is what matters.

Women's Aid and Migrant Rights are the places to go for help. The goal needs to be for the OP to escape the situation, safety.