Will dilemma

endofrainbow · 24-11-2025 02:31AM #1

Friends of mine, a married couple have 4 kids and are redoing up their respective wills. Children A and B (married) have young children , C and D (married) no kids. A and B have suggested parents make provision for grandkids but C and D think this is unfair as it will penalise them because they are childless and cut into their share of the inheritance and anything for the grandkids should come from their own parents . Parents want to do the right thing but are torn about alienating any of the kids but for different reasons. Who is being selfish and what advice would you give the parents? They are really upset about this and are really looking for opinions on how to tackle a delicate situation.

con747 · 24-11-2025 02:49AM

Personally if it was me I would leave my children equal amounts whether they had children or not, the fact they had children wouldn't come into it.

Peregrinus · 24-11-2025 02:52AM

Let it be known that they will be dividing their estate into four equal shares, one earmarked for each of their children A, B, C and D and their respective families. If A or B would like specific provision for their children, the parents will be happy to do this, but it will not be at the expense of the other childen or their families — e.g. instead of leaving 25% of the estate to A, they could leave 12.5% to A and 12.5% on trust for A's children, to be divided equally among them when the youngest of A's children reaches the age of 18. B, C and D would be unaffected by whatever is done with regard to the allocation of A's 25%.

Note that, depending on the size of the estate, leaving money to grandchildren rather than to children could result in a higher inheritance tax bill. A and B should be advised to think carefully about this before asking for some of the estate to be directed towards their children rather than to them.

Mellor · 24-11-2025 03:30AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058428864/will-dilemma

Grandkids share should come from A and Bs share. A and B can advise how their 25% should be divided.

If A and B are expecting a bigger share because they have kids, they are being selfish and scheming.

893bet · 24-11-2025 08:27AM

A and B are scheming.

Ultimately it’s up the the parents to split. It doesn’t have to even. One of the children may already be wealthy through luck/hard work. Parents job is not to distribute fairly but to distribute in a way to ensure all their children have a good life; and that might mean helping one more than another; as unfair as that might look.

Mrs OBumble · 24-11-2025 09:15AM

Opinions of A thru D are irrelevant.

Split things how the parents want to.

Rock Steady Edy · 24-11-2025 10:17AM

Awful that the parents of the 4 are being pushed into redistributing the will, and the focus is all on the money. No one has any right to an inheritance. I couldn't imagine having that conversation with my parents and there are 4 of us with different numbers of children. Unlikely they picked up the attitude from the side of a road though, and the parents may have unintentionally passed it on through their own actions or conversations in the past, and siblings A and B are destined to do the same again to their children by their own actions and squabbles.

Fairness is key here. If the will-makers set aside a nominal amount for each grandchild and then divided the rest between the siblings, that would be ok IMHO, or equally simply dividing it between the siblings and for the grandchildren to receive an amount the parents see fit from that. Or equally, if they want to leave some or all of it all to charity, that's really their choice.

Will dilemma

Comments