The Weird, Wacky and Awesome World of the NFL - General Banter thread V3

So as we are approaching the end of our regular season, I thought i would educate with my experience as a football dad.

My lad is seven, and one of his bestest friends is in a football friendly family. When I was away for a month with the Army, my wife let my son get talked into playing American Football for a season.

I was not thrilled. Neither is his pediatrician. He had had a season playing flag the year before which he liked enough, and we had little objection to, but had been hoping to avoid tackle. No such luck.

We figured we'd hoped he would try tackle, decide he didn't like getting knocked around, and quit. Why risk the injury? No such luck. He may quit, but not because he doesn't like the game. He's not a fan of everything else around it, and neither are we as parents.

What we didn't realize was just how much of a religion and how damned seriously American Football is taken in these parts. Flag was a sort of social thing set up by the YMCA, but turned out that friend's dad was running a Texas Youth Football & Cheerleader Association league team. There are about 600 in the state.

This isn't a knock-about social setup, it's a miniature NFL, and they are serious about it.

Any team must be able to field four divisions. Flag (up to 6), Tyke (7-8), Junior (9-10) and Rookie (11-12). Failing to field a full 11 kids forfeits the game.

Our first shock was the schedule. Practice three days a week, two hours a day, plus game day on the weekend. Later in the season it dropped to 90 minutes as the park had to be vacated by sundown. Practice started in August, two hours in full kit at 38 degrees, I was legitimately starting to get concerned for a bit until it cooled down. (Relative term, yesterday's game was a much more reasonable 32).

(Coaches provide water during time out)

The second was the cost. To be fair, the kit is top notch. Kit bag, undershirt, overshirt, helmet markings, all individually named and numbered and integrally so, no "ironed on afterwards" stuff. Then the armor, helmet itself, shoes, practice clothing, mouthguard, all the usual accouterments.

The refs are paid professionals. Some also do high school or even college, some used to but just wanted to kick back for a bit, some just love the game and want to help kids have fun.

Games are played on full sized pitches, normally at local schools. I presume they get paid as well. All costs money, which comes from the dues and even from ticket sales. Yep, to watch your kid play comes with an $8 charge. At home games it's waived if you volunteer for some duty like admission, concession stand. I go for the chain gang. Means standing for an hour and a half, but at least it's a good view and you can banter with the refs. They are good natured, and are patient with us. "Wait, why didn't we move the chain this time?"

The girls obviously do cheer.

Rules are a bit different for each age division reflecting some realities. At my kid's level, a coach is allowed on the field to help direct the players. (Sometimes physically dragging them to their required places). The team does have a playbook of about a score of plays the kid's were supposed to learn, but mine certainly didn't have the time to study it, and the coach on the field makes up for it. Touchdowns are converted not by a kick but by attempting to gain a second touchdown from the three yard line (one point, only one down to try for it).

In a fourth down the team can elect to do a passing play with the ball starting in the QB's hand instead of starting with a hike. (But it must be thrown, not ran). Other than that, it's full contact.

The results themselves aren't taken -too- seriously by the adults. I've heard a small amount of griping about some ref decisions, but never once have i seen a coach or adult complain to the refs. However, the coaches do take the team itself seriously. Hanging around watching some practices, i was getting Basic Training flashbacks. It happens that all four of my kid's coaches are ex miltary, and i swear I had heard some of the... motivations.. coming from my drill sergeants all those years ago. Down to punishment laps for transgressions. (Again, high thirties temperature, full kit). The kids are seven and eight for Christ's sake. That said, it turned out our guys are chill compared to the coaches on other teams who i (and everyone else) could hear outright yelling at the kids when they were not performing to standard in the match.

Leagues are set up by local region. I've never had to drive more than 40 minutes to get to a game. We are likely to make playoffs, which means a larger distance. I hope to hell we get knocked out in game once as the geography spreads as teams get knocked out. At best the next round is Houston or Austin, which becomes an all day event. Dallas would become an overnight, and places like El Paso are either three-day events or we're taking United Airlines. And we're directly in the middle of the state, a team from Amarillo, Brownsville, El Paso or Texarkana would be utterly screwed if they have any level of success. Outside of a nice trophy, i don't know what benefits come to the state champs.

Anyway, it's been interesting, but we are all disinclined to do it again next year. It just takes too much time out of our week, both as parents and as a kid who does other things like martial arts, catechism (he's due his first communion this year) or just being a kid and playing with friends.