Feeling Stupid & Stuck at Work – Has Anyone Else Been Here?

Quoideneuf · 18-07-2025 10:31PM #1

Hi all,
I’m hoping for some perspective because I feel like I’m failing at a new job, and it’s really doing a number on my confidence.

I started a 3-month contract as a Clerical Officer in the public sector (small town, Ireland). It’s been 4 weeks, and I still feel lost. I’m being asked to do things with systems I barely understand. I ask how to do something, and instead of showing me, people just take it off me and do it themselves resentfully. I try writing things down, but it doesn’t stick. I hate having to keep asking for help — I feel like a nuisance.

I’m not being met with patience or much empathy, and I worry they already think I’m stupid. I’m trying, I really am, but I leave work feeling like a failure most days.

I don’t know if I’m just not cut out for this kind of job. Maybe I’m not smart enough to work in this kind of environment. But I’m also afraid I won’t fit in anywhere.

Has anyone else gone through this kind of thing — where it feels like your brain just doesn’t work the way everyone else’s seems to?
Did it get better?
Did you find something that worked better for you?

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate any honest replies.

tea and coffee · 19-07-2025 06:54AM

This sounds like a poor training/induction programme issue rather than anything to do with what you're doing.

Is there a HR person you can speak to pr your manager? You need to be shown properly what to do and supported in your learning the role.

Hannibal_Smith · 19-07-2025 07:58AM

It's not you it's them. That is absolutely no way to treat anyone. It takes time to settle in and learn the ropes and they need to take that into consideration. Taking the work from you is appalling. It sounds as if they're up to their tonsils maybe and have no time to explain? Even if that's it, it's not excuse. Speak to the line manager first. If no joy there HR.

User567363 · 19-07-2025 08:15AM

yes I have been in the exact same position, I had moved departments in work, its a horribal lonely feeling, i eventually left, but I feel silly now for not telling my manager sooner as when I handed in my notice he was surprised and reckoned that my previous manager had told him that i was an expert in their database, when i have never used any database before

Big Bag of Chips · 19-07-2025 08:17AM

4 weeks in any job is nothing. Starting a new job is always difficult and takes a number of months to settle in. The problem is the training you are being given.

Contact your line manager on Monday morning and tell them you feel you need some more training. There are unpleasant people in every workplace. These people seem to forget that they were once the new person and didn't know it all! All you need is one decent colleague who'll take time to show you something. Is there anyone you can think of who you'd be comfortable approaching?

It takes about 6 months to settle in to a role. And even in 6 months you'll still come up against something you haven't seen before and have to ask someone.

gipi · 19-07-2025 08:53AM

Are you summer relief staff, by any chance?

The area I worked in used to let a number of staff take unpaid leave for the summer and replacement staff were hired for 8 or 12 weeks.

The permanent staff often saw the temps as a nuisance (unfair on the temps), so gave them the sh1*ty jobs (filing that hadn't been done all year, for example), and put very little effort into actually training the temps.

I saw enthusiastic temp staff become disillusioned within weeks, through no fault of their own.

Senior management knew that the work could continue without the temps at all, but couldn't refuse to take temps because it would reflect badly on their normal staff complement.

My advice, OP, if you are a summer temp, is not to take it personally, not to get worried about your abilities, and just go with the flow.

If you aren't a summer temp, then BigBagOfChips' advice above is key

charlessmith22 · 19-07-2025 08:58AM

How junior is the role you're in? Did you oversell yourself in the interview stating you could do some of the things you're struggling with?

I often find this sort of office resentment stems from someone coming in at a position where they're out of their depth and under qualified, particularly if its a nepotism appointment. Or often people are so busy they dont have the time to bring someone who's supposed to be competent up to speed.

But if its fairly entry level and you weren't expected to hit the ground running then it sounds like a poor environment to learn and you should raise your concerns with your manager.

Buffman · 19-07-2025 09:34AM

Presumably you're in as a TCO for the summer OP?

It's an entry level temporary CS position you've been in for a month, nobody is expecting you to be running the entire department.

Relax a bit and don't take it so seriously, look on the bright side of being a temp, you don't have to worry about probation etc. and you're already 1/3 of the way through it.

Do what you can and keep asking for assistance as needed, maybe if someone takes something back off you to do themselves, ask them if they mind if you go with them to see how they do it.

Presumably you have an EO or someone higher as a manager so they should be your main point of contact if you want to ask about stuff, sometimes other COs can have issues with having to 'train' new COs unless that's their specific role.

Quoideneuf · 20-07-2025 01:07AM

Thanks so much to everyone who replied—I really appreciate the perspectives.

Just to clarify, I’m in a temporary Clerical Officer role for the summer, working on reception. I understand this is an entry-level position, and I came into it genuinely wanting to learn, contribute, and make a good impression.

The main issue I’ve been facing is being expected to handle constant queries that I’ve had little or no training or briefing for. I’m regularly asked questions I don’t have the answers to, and when I reach out for help—as I inevitably have to—I’m often met with visible annoyance, sighs, or that subtle-but-clear tone of resentment. I’ve been made to feel like a nuisance, rather than a new colleague.

I don’t expect to be handheld, but without a proper induction—and while still figuring out who does what—it feels unfair to be judged or dismissed for not magically knowing everything.

I’m definitely not underqualified. I have plenty of admin experience under my belt, and if anything, I’m overqualified—a double Masters graduate. But this experience has really knocked my self-esteem and made me question my intelligence and abilities. I’m doing my best under tough circumstances, but the vibes I’m picking up are that people would rather I just disappear than ask a question. It makes an already isolating role feel even harder.

People keep saying, “ask away, never worry”, but in practice, it’s clear they’d rather I didn’t. And I don’t feel management would give a toss either—they likely don’t want to invest time or effort into a temp. Had I known this beforehand, I would’ve politely declined the role.

Rubberchikken · 20-07-2025 02:36AM

I'm sorry about this.

Tbh I think they should be ashamed of themselves for not putting themselves in your shoes fir a second and simply answering a question or showing you how something is done.

A decent person would take thst moment.

Speak to your manager. Yes the role might be temporary but even in a couple of months you can learn and contribute to the workload.

They Should also remember they were new and inexperienced once.

Big Bag of Chips · 20-07-2025 08:47AM

If it's temporary I'd get on to a recruitment agency and move on. It's not worth the upset.

It's definitely not personal. You're not the first person to sit at that desk and not know what's what. It has nothing to do with intelligence. It's all to do with knowing the company, knowing the personnel, know which dept looks after what. That's not something you're going to know just in the door.

It's unfortunate but sometimes people tend to not give much time to temps because they think they'll take time training you in and you'll be gone in a few weeks anyway, and then another temp will be in and they'll have to train that one. People do have their own work to do and the goodwill tends to run out when you're constantly taking time out of your own role to train someone you know isn't going to be around for long. Sometimes it's quicker and easier to just do the job yourself.

I do agree with a poster above which suggests if someone takes work to do it you should ask if you can watch what they're doing. Although if you are supposed to be stationed at the desk it mightn't be so easy to leave your post..

It can be demoralising, but tell yourself it's not personal, it's nothing to do with intelligence or ability and it's only temporary. Hopefully you'll find something else more suited to your qualifications and strengths soon.

CiboC · 15-08-2025 08:26PM

OP, I went into the civil service a few years ago and found the first month in particular baffling. Everyone assumed I had come from somewhere else in the civil service and so was familiar with the systems, acronyms and other processes that they were using. I literally had no idea what people were talking about a lot of the time and had to look up acronyms left right and centre, and even then wasn't sure what the relevance of them was!

As a TCO maybe people aren't bothered with training you as they know you may be gone soon enough, but try not to be disheartened. At a minimum the experience will stand to you if you decide to go for a permanent position in the CS, and not everywhere is like you are experiencing.

Feeling Stupid & Stuck at Work – Has Anyone Else Been Here?

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