How do I know if he’s right for me?

You know by knowing yourself. Know what you want, communicate what you want, and if someone isnt meeting your expectations walk away instead of ignoring the signs. Judge him on how he's showing up, not how you'd like him to show up.

If you're unable to treat early dating in a non commital manner and you tend to catch feelings fast, have that conversation sooner, like sooner than you have here.

You could literally just ask him.

You want commitment, does he feel the same?

You say you think his dating days arent done - is he taking you out places and showing you off to people he knows? Thats a good sign. If you're just hanging and banging, thats a bad sign.

Finally be honest with yourself, is he way better looking than you? A large mis match in attractiveness isn't good long term.

I'd write more, but you've given us zip to work with

This post is a bit unclear - you say there hasn't been any talk of exclusivity, but then say you've asked him for commitment. Which is it???

If you've genuinely - outright, to his face, with no ambiguity - asked for commitment and he's not prepared to give it, then there's your answer, he's not right for you. Tell him thanks, but this isn't working for me, wish him the best of luck and move on.

Sometimes people are very clear with us but we tend to smudge the signs in the hope we're being hasty and we really want them to be telling us something different.

You want a relationship, he's lukewarm about it. Sex means nothing to him, it means more to you. I really, really wouldn't be investing much emotionally into it. Your gut is trying to tell you, you're on two different paths. Listen to it.

When talking about very early dating like this, I don't really agree with the 'you'd know if they're into you' trope that goes around. Plenty of relationships are slow burners where they start out semi casual and things naturally progress.

Tbh if someone is sure right away I see that as more of a red flag than someone taking their time.

But regardless it doesn't matter if his overall intentions are sex only, or more of a 'see where it goes', it clearly doesn't align with your views or general anxious attachment tendancy OP, you're not compatible and he'll likely drive you mad very fast.