In love with coworker. Accused of Harassment.

yup, you are never worthy. You have behaved awfully, and this is not recoverable.

I am almost physically repulsed just reading what you've written here, I can't imagine how any sane woman would entertain any kind of relationship or even friendship with someone who behaved in this way towards them.

Sending unwanted valentines gifts etc to someone you are not in a relationship with. Beyond inappropriate, it's bordering criminal.

Regarding the last part of your response to me. I answer, the difference between fixing the problems of why she rejected you and fixing your problems that may help you in the future is nuanced but important. Treating the reasons why she rejected you as problems to overcome so potentially fix her rejection (if i am understanding your intent correctly) is that any continuing effort towards this person is inherently really disrespectful to her. You have already harmed this person enough that they feel unsafe around you, so much that they have asked for external help. Any attempt to fix this is you trying to either fix it for your benefit to date her, befriend her or whatever, or at the most extreme fix it for her benefit so YOU feel good about your dynamic with her. Either way, it comes from solo self centered place. I would suggest to you to review these responses in a few days after this conversation has passed and you might see that at all time, your over arching direction of movement in response and understanding is to still not disconnect from this person. If i reject a person the way she has rejected you, and you continued to make advances or even repair in that direction, i would find it horrendously threatening that ive already made it clear i dont want my life to include you in any way, and you wont accept that. I strongly advise you OP to never interact or practice fantasy about this person. Its inherently unsafe for her as its already demonstrated shes not able to control your prescene in her life using just words or silence. We all have that right.

Yes you should fix the issue related to rejection, but the issues are not WHY you were rejected, the issue to fix is how you are responding to the rejection. The rejection reasons could be harmless and totally not something to change. Eg: she doesnt like how you look, she likes tall short skinny or big men. She doesnt like older men because she has had bad experiences with them and good experiences with younger men. Maybe she finds younger men have a better emotional relationship model akin to her own age. Maybe she doesnt like men at all and is struggling with many issues around it. It doesnt matter. Maybe it had nothing to do with your personality or physical looks, maybe the day she met you she just wasnt interested in anyone and you got put in that box. The issue to focus on is the very very high level of persistence you showed that invalidated her need for safety and control, yet you felt justified by creating logic around proving yourself and the romantic notion of love.
I hope that goes somewhat in the direction that people are trying to explain to you. Its not about fixing issues that caused rejection, the rejection is a perfectly normal healthy piece of the dynamic. The unhealthiness of it started after that. (well technically the infatuation you felt was likely unhealthy too..but one problem at a time).

One of the really difficult things that the human mind does is creating a seemingly logical train of thought that obtains a desire that quenches a fear. Your mind seems quite good at doing that. However, it clearly created logical train of thoughts that led to actions that ignore the context and negative consequences it had on others. It seems to be extremely focused on your inclusion in this other persons lift whilst ignoring the fact the other person decided it was better if you were not included.

Op yes in a club or bar as you suggest is perfectly fine but not on work messenger. Just think about that.

OP, you need professional help because you have a very wrong idea, how relationship should look like. You think, if you just mould yourself into someone she would like, you both would be happy. But it doesn't work that way. After some time you would want to be loved for, who you really are (the first dish served). So another person will feel being cheated and wasting her time for a fake persona.

People want to be with someone, who is a challenge to them. I think that the biggest part of her attractiveness to you is, that she is such a challenge to you. She gives you an air to breathe and a space for your love to grow. While you just want to completely mould yourself to her expectations and be no challenge for her at all, so in short suffocating her. Who would like such a relationship? In this way you would be a huge burden for her. She would have to drag this relationship on her own, so be responsible for two people. Who would like it?

Frankly, if I come across someone like you, I would run a mile. That's why you need professional help to change your whole outlook on relationships. I don't think you can do it on your own.

I got a little afraid for your co-worker the more I read OP.

Definitely get some help.

OP, even if you could read her mind and transform yourself into her ideal man, the ship with her has sailed. The. Ship. With. Her. Has. Sailed. There is no coming back from this.

If you are truly concerned about what, in your behaviour, has led you to this point, by all means go and talk to a therapist. At the very least, it will mean that when a woman rejects you in the future (and for everyone, there are far more rejections than there are yeses) you will not repeat this behaviour and get yourself into very serious trouble. At best, it will help you understand and address your fears and lack of confidence, which will make you more attractive to a prospective partner.

One sided infatuation still feels very much like love - even if it isn't. And the heartbreak can still feel very much like heartbreak. But you have to accept that this is now your issue to move on from. It would be best, for everyone including yourself, if you tried to find yourself a different job.

If I am really how you all think of me, how do I deserve help?

Maybe you do, or do not deserve help…. who knows?

but the very least this girl deserves is you getting the help you need in order to leave her alone. You are already having a tremendously negative impact on her life, and it appears you can do nothing but make it worse for her.

Get help, for her sake.

No, the "love" you feel is absolutely a fantasy.

It is like a stalker pointing at an actress on a poster and deciding that he loves her, and so that she must love him.

It's nonsense, you know effectively nothing about her, it is mentally unwell to think that such a thing is love.

The one thing you do know is that she doesn't like or want you, but you seemingly think that doesn't matter. You are a danger to her.

OP, you are not in love with this woman, you are in love with the idealised version of her you have created. I say this with experience, at one point years ago I was that person who created an idea of a "love" with a co-worker where none existed. And in that scenario we actually were friends at work and had quite a bit in common. But my mind still created the idea it could be something more and that I had fallen in love and ultimately destroyed the friendship. You can tell yourself that if only they gave you the chance to know them it could be different but to be honest, who they do and dont talk to is entirely their business and once you asked them out and they said no you needed to just put it behind you.

And truth be told you are not ready for any relationship right now. You need to work on yourself first. The baggage that you seem to bring from previous relationships and your negative feelings about yourself would ultimately destroy any potential relationship. To be in a successful relationship you must first learn to be comfortable with yourself alone. Only then will you be in a position to share openly with another person. Please reach out to someone for help. You will look back in the future and say it was the best thing you ever did for yourself.

unless you look like a movie star young handsome most women do not date co workers ,it can be awkward Theres 100s of options on hinge or tinder for dating men.you should not add someone on social media without asking them first.She,s not interested .Move on theres plenty of single women out there .I think you find her attractive i don,t think you can be in love with someone you have never dated and you dont actually work with her or speak to her frequently.Leave them alone or else you could end up losing your job for harassing a co-worker