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Time to recognize polyamorous marriage?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 33,241 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Good! About bloody time people relaxed a bit and had some fun!

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Registered Users Posts: 708 ✭✭✭techman1


    Yes and I'll say it a third time if you like, of course it's not the only reason but it's a fundamental part of the problems in the ME.

    As for a direct causation link, look no further than Osama bin laden, the product of a polygamous marriage where his father was a very wealthy guy who could afford to have many wives. Unfortunately he didn't have much time for his many children so then you have the likes of Osama vying with his many other children for attention. Of course Osama went on to a polygamous marriage himself and the process repeats as some of his sons then followed him into terrorism.

    In the real world it is women that consent to this being shared, hardly any man would consent to sharing his wife with another man. That's where the problems for society as a whole would result as seen in the ME. Society should not be encouraging this practice because it is not good.



  • Registered Users Posts: 40 jarrybutt


    Plenty of sex to be had from the apps.

    I'm obese and not attractive yet I have success with foreign women.

    In fact I just watched with a hot woman this morning and we're already discussing meeting up for some fun.



  • Registered Users Posts: 40 jarrybutt


    You'd need a venn diagram to work out your family tree.



  • Registered Users Posts: 16,164 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    It was legal there but they got did of it when they became a state. The US wouldn't allow Utah to become a state otherwise. So suddenly God talked to the Mormon Elders and told them that it was wrong.

    Same thing happened with black people. God didn't want them to be Mormons until just after the civil rights era when he had a word in the ears of the elders and told them that he'd be wrong the whole time.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 33,241 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    That's a correlation, not a causation - which is a classic logical fallacy.

    That last paragraph is again assumption (and factually incorrect, if you've every actually been in a polycule) - men wouldn't last five minutes with an attitude like that.

    So yeah - you cleary have no idea who the concept of polyamory works, you're guessing, telling us what you want us to hear and getting it completly wrong. Leaving you here at this point.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,212 ✭✭✭sprucemoose


    Joseph Smith was called a prophet

    (Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb)

    He started the Mormon religion

    (Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb).

    (Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb)

    fair play



  • Registered Users Posts: 26,243 ✭✭✭✭Peregrinus


    It wasn't legal in Utah even before it was admitted as a state, though it was widely practised. The US federal government banned polygamy in all US territories (which included Utah at the time) in 1862. For a long time the Utah Territory authorities were reluctant to enforce the ban — meaning, they didn't prosecute bigamists, but bigamous marriages were still unlawful and were unrecognised for all legal purposes.

    That changed in the late 1880s — not only were bigamists prosecuted, but the authorities also began to seize the asset of the Mormon church. In 1890 the church prohibited new plural marriages (though it continued to assert the validity of existing plural marriages) and a few years later its assets were returned to it.

    In 1896 Utah was admitted to the Union as a State, one of the conditions of admission being that the State Constitution would include a ban on polygamy. The constitutional prohibition is still in force.

    (Polygamy wasn't the only issue that delayed Utah's admission to the Union. Because the white settlement of the territory had been organised and conducted by the Mormon church, the church owned a huge part of the Territory's land area. That gave it enormous political influence which was felt to be in appropriate for a US state. The seizure of the church's assets in 1893 was partly a measure to punish its complicity in conducting polygamous marriages, but partly also a way of reducing its land ownership and redesignating much church land as public land.



  • Registered Users Posts: 708 ✭✭✭techman1


    Looks like Una Healy wants to distance herself from the "throuple " rumours. She says as far as she was concerned she was dating David Haye and wasn't in a throuple, she said she never heard that word before.

    Looks like this is a trend that won't take off as Una Healy has sensed that the association with this lifestyle can only be bad for her profile and now she wants to kill off the whole story. Looks like Dil and her partner will be left on their own again as I bet their new "girlfriend " who wanted to remain anonymous anyway will probably skidaddle aswell as she will see that this is not something to be celebrated and will probably be bad for her if it ever became public. Maybe the fact that Dil decided to be so public will be too scary aswell



  • Registered Users Posts: 708 ✭✭✭techman1


    I don't hear Dil Wickremasinghe going on about her "throuple" much lately, maybe they are just back to a couple again. Maybe she frightened away the +2 person with all the adverse publicity associated with this "lifestyle". I doubt it will become a thing



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  • Registered Users Posts: 422 ✭✭BagofWeed


    LOL He was a CIA asset. And the US sure spent a lot of money in supporting conservative Saudi Salafist Wahabism in taking a hold in Afghanistan which in a ironic twist followers are now being persecuted by the Taliban.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    What's the best argument against polyamorous marriage though?

    In theory if three people wanted to marry one another, why should the state prevent that outcome?

    I'm neither in favour nor against, because it's not a subject I've ever explored. But I'd be interested in hearing what the arguments are because, at the moment, all I've seen is an emotional reaction against it rather than any concrete reasoned argument.



  • Registered Users Posts: 171 ✭✭200mg


    One simple thing is children who gets them in a divorce ? Who's children are they the 2 mothers for example. If it's a woman and 2 men the woman ? Head hurts thinking about it already. Do both fathers pay child support and so on.



  • Registered Users Posts: 20,419 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Do they have a spreadsheet on who's turn it is or what?

    She seems happy anyway.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭greencap


    The state isnt preventing anyone from getting married. You can marry a tin of beans if you like. The state just wont recognise the marriage.



  • Registered Users Posts: 8,536 ✭✭✭lawrencesummers




  • Registered Users Posts: 29,014 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    ...some serious levels of dysfunction going on there, everyone in serious need of professional help!

    throw in some cheese and toast, and im in!



  • Registered Users Posts: 708 ✭✭✭techman1


    But that never happens, 2 men and 1 woman, its always 1 man and several women like in the ME not a stable situation because then you have many angry men that cannot get a woman the fundamental reason why so much violence in the ME and Africa. Therefore in order to maintain the stable societies we have in the developed world these types of relationships should never be accepted or legalised



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭greencap


    The feminists position on the issue of polyamorous relationships I imagine will be very telling.

    Since the research shows that lesbian couples tend to be relatively highly monogamous and value emotional intimacy more, whereas straight men and gay couples are more promiscuous, when possible. If I remember correctly.

    We are occasionally reminded that feminism (despite the name) is not about promoting female interests, but rather its about making society more equal, and caring for all regardless of gender.

    It seems that females are more concerned with enduring relationships, as one would expect due to biology, and as the study of lesbian couples suggests. This would mean promiscuity and polyamorous relationships would be detrimental to female interests. A man with 6 wives has less time for emotional intimacy and the maintaining of an enduring relationship. A woman generally wouldn't want this. A man would generally be much more entertaining of the idea of many partners, as suggested by the study of mens preferences and of gay male couples.

    So if feminism protests against polyamorous relationships in society, that would fit pretty well with the proposal that feminists are in fact, as the name suggests, primarily interested in promoting female interests.



  • Registered Users Posts: 33,241 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭greencap




  • Registered Users Posts: 33,241 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    That's a bit like me saying I never signed the contract - the ink is liable!

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.





  • As described by some posters above a polyamorous relationship, “marriage”, call it what you will, like so much else, is generally for men’s benefit. If I want to have lots of variety of flute I go on the apps but in this case I don’t go telling myself or anyone else I’m committed to any of them, I’m just experiencing fun. If I become mutually committed to one man, I certainly don’t want either another man or woman thrown into the mix, thank you very much. Dealing with one person at a time is complicated enough 🤣 One would have to be very organised with the calendar for due equality a “polyamorous relationship”. To me it’s just shagging around, call a spade a spade.



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    This is the type of mental stuff that seems mental now but media/NGO/activists will attempt to make it normal over the next decade or so.

    Has she elaborated how the Tax Credits work?



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,610 ✭✭✭hoodie6029


    Not sure where I stand on these but this thread reminded me of this murderous psychopath. You can be guaranteed that he will be trotted out by anyone against change.


    The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,107 ✭✭✭chicorytip


    Polyamoury is simply a "woke" term for promiscuity. Marriage is an institution based on fidelity and mutual respect. Having multiple shag partners is not. A polyamourous marriage, therefore, is a contradiction in terms.



  • Registered Users Posts: 8,327 ✭✭✭AllForIt


    What's the best argument against polyamorous marriage though?

    I'll give it it bash.

    The point of marriage is you make a commitment to 1 person. You can't honour a commitment to 2 or more people at the same time because now there is a conflict where at times you have to put one person over the other. So it's not logically possible to commit to 2 people at the same time and therefore not the definition of a marriage.



  • Registered Users Posts: 708 ✭✭✭techman1


    So if feminism protests against polyamorous relationships in society, that would fit pretty well with the proposal that feminists are in fact, as the name suggests, primarily interested in promoting female interests.

    that would make rational sense but then feminists would be aligning themselves 100% with conservatives and against the groups they like to associate themselves with

    the same rationale with regard to mandatory religious face coverings for women, feminist stay very quite on this issue



  • Registered Users Posts: 33,241 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    I see your point, but surely its just an issue of legality? There's no reason a marriage of two people - as a legal contract - can't be rewriten as a contract between three or more people, if all parties lawfully agree to the terms?

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 26,243 ✭✭✭✭Peregrinus


    It would have to be fundamentally different terms. One of the defining characteristics of marriage as we currently have it it that it's exclusive — if I marry A, then I cannot marry anyone else. And much about the nature of marriage flows from that - presumption of paternity, inheritance rights, rights to maintenance and support, etc. So it's not simply a question of extending existing rules to an additional person as devising a new set of rules appropriate to a different set of relationships between a larger group of people.

    A related point is that marriage, the legal institution, isn't the foundation for marriage, the social reality — it's the other way around. People have been marrying, and have been recognised and treated as married by their families and neighours and communities, long before the state got involved and started recognising and regulating marriage. Even now, the state's capacity to regulate marriage ultimately has to give way to the social reality of marriage — e.g. this state's attempt to ban divorce ultimately had to give way to the reality of relationships ending, and the legal and regulatory regime simply had to deal with that.

    Which means that there is no point in the state recognising polyamorous marriage if polyamorous marriages aren't an established social reality. I pointed above to some questions that would have to be asked about polyamorous marriage - e.g. how would the inheritance rights of my various spouses be reconciled on my death? But in fact there are much more fundamental questions that would need to be settled - e.g. if I am married to A can I go ahead and marry B, or is this only possible if both I and A marry B, so that A and B will also be spouses of one another?

    If polyamorous marriage were a social reality in Ireland, we would already know the answers to questions like this, because we would point to the reality of polyamorous marriage as lived by those in them, and to the shared understanding of polyamorous marriages and their consequence by the wider community within which people enter into polyamorous marriages. We can't point to to these things because they don't exist yet; polyamorous marriage is just an abstract idea and, if we're honest, a not very well developed one.

    In short, the state can't recognise polyamorous marriages because there aren't any polyamorous marriages to recognise. Only when the community starts practising, accepting and supporting polyamorous marriage can the the question of legal recognition arise.



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