Sh1t on new couch.

EER · 03-08-2021 01:17AM #1

I’m in an awful way. It seems somebody had a number two accident in their trousers, while they were sitting on my new couch. There is no stain, but the smell is horrific in this specific patch, while the rest of the cushion around it, still has the strong new couch smell. The couch is two days old. Please help! What am I going to do, to completely rid my new couch of this smell?

NSAman · 03-08-2021 01:54AM

Get someone to sit in the other two cushions who has also shat themselves… balance the smell out

EER · 03-08-2021 02:10AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117697745#Comment_117697745

Unfortunately the person sat on both sides of the couch. FML

03-08-2021 02:21AM

Take the couch outside and burn it.

RabbleRouser2k · 03-08-2021 02:26AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058202013/sh1t-on-new-couch

I'm afraid that couch sounds beyond saving.

Sam Quentin · 03-08-2021 02:29AM

My friend him from not Ireland had stayed with me in my home. He also did shat and make my wife sad. So I'd had petrol in spodge and rub it on brown colour, so it clean, then I had rub it with machine wash powder and kettle water. Then it smell like it did the day before my friend stay on my sofa. Thanks you please. 🙂🙏

Burt Renaults · 03-08-2021 04:06AM

I'm very sorry to hear that someone took a shite on your couch. Find out what material the couch is made from and then use Google to find out what kind of cleaning product can be safely used on it, thus removing the shite without harming the couch itself.

con747 · 03-08-2021 04:31AM

OP are you sure you didn't just buy a shite couch.......

Gary Scrod · 03-08-2021 07:33AM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058202013/sh1t-on-new-couch

There is a sh1t thread in After Hours with a bunch of posters who regularly 'follow through' and sh1t themselves. They are probably your best bet.

Bricriu · 03-08-2021 07:49AM

Your couch must be shaped like a toilet-bowl if someone went to the toilet on it.

Are you sure you weren't trying to save money by buying a dual-purpose bit of furniture?

Be careful when you buy confusingly-shaped furniture; it can cause unusual reactions in some people.

xhomelezz · 03-08-2021 08:32AM

If I was you, I would check the couch properly, your friend could still be there..

Gael23 · 10-08-2021 11:51PM

Try bicarbonate of soda

autumnalcore · 11-08-2021 01:01PM

Don't faff around with home made things that might not work of may stain, cause dye to run

There are professional product designed to remove cat pee etc.

https://www.tesco.ie/groceries/product/details/?id=278194390

autumnalcore · 11-08-2021 01:01PM

Thats assuming its a fabric couch ..

autumnalcore · 11-08-2021 01:02PM

Dr. Beckmann is good if you can find it

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dr-Beckmann-Stain-Odour-Remover/dp/B08CJ6J3BP/ref=asc_df_B08CJ6J3BP/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=463088163330&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=162650414547962693&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007835&hvtargid=pla-955416027762&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

KaneToad · 11-08-2021 01:03PM

Is this not an episode of Seinfeld?

Thephantomsmask · 11-08-2021 01:10PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058202013/sh1t-on-new-couch

If there is no stain the sprinkling baking soda over it for a day or so should absorb the smell. Febreze is an option for fabric.

Redderthanever · 11-08-2021 01:10PM

Do you have a dog or cat? It's more likely that a dog expressed its glands on your couch.. It is truly a horrific smell and doesn't leave a noticeable stain. Try dampen the area and then use a cleaning agent- this is supposed to be good, natures miracle advanced dog stain

Anybody_there · 24-09-2021 03:31AM

Is your couch the shape of a commode? Might be good idea to take someone with you next time you buy a bit of furniture. It reminds me of the story about the Vikings who invaded. One of them was told by his wife that when he went pillaging that he was to bring her back a sink. Anyway during the battle he was terribly injured and lost his sight. Now his wife was a bit of a one and he knew he would be in trouble if he went home without the sink. So he started feeling his way around one of the houses and came across a toilet. So he took that back to her, after all as you probably know "a bog is as good as a sink to a blind Norse"

Sheep Shagger · 25-09-2021 02:18PM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117737477#Comment_117737477

Mr Price have this, got this as we have a pup.

16-01-2022 07:11PM

Burn it

Nothing would entice me to clean keep it

New Home · 04-02-2022 12:50AM

This spray is great for pet spillages, it "digests" the proteins (or so it claims). I've used it on rugs before and it has always worked wonders. The smell disappears almost instantaneously and the stains are removed pretty quickly, too, but you may have to reapply. I found it first in a pet shop (can't remember which one) for about a tenner, then I spotted it again in Mr Price for 3.99 so I stocked up. I'd be pretty confident it'd work on human spillages, too.

Alternatively, Homebase rent carpet (and upholstery) cleaners for around €40 a day, depending on what machine you rent.

Xander10 · 04-02-2022 01:06AM

If the get the cat to spray against the side of the couch it should mask the smell of sh1t

HTH

the_pen_turner · 04-02-2022 01:12AM

biobrisk by auto smart is great for this kind of thing. i have used it on spilled milk in a few cars and on a few cushions that were sentimental to the owner that were smoke damaged in a fire, it worked great. im sure your local taxi company would point you in the right direction . they would have stuff for vomit

10-02-2022 09:56PM

Rent a extraction cleaning machine for carpets and furniture in your local hire shop or Homebase as someone else mentioned

bigmac3 · 10-02-2022 10:17PM

You’ll need to take a sh1te on it yourself, then clean it. Only way you could ever feel comfortable on the couch again, is knowing you were the last person to take a sh1te on it.

thefallingman · 10-02-2022 10:21PM

what colour is the couch ? Any p1ss smell ?

Sh1t on new couch.

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