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Big spending during a divorce process

  • #2
    Registered Users Posts: 3,692 ✭✭✭ smokingman


    Just looking for opinions here but is it madness to buy something like a big swanky car during a divorce process after the affidavits have been done?
    Asking, as my ex has spent 19 grand on a new Audi with leather seats last Saturday and I only found out when chatting to the kids that evening.
    I'm still waiting on a court date.


Comments

  • #2


    Hi.

    if your partner bought a second hand car for 19k and it looks nice, that not really a problem for you, now is it? And assuming you are separated he doesn't need to run it by you!

    his having a nice reliable card, could actually be a positive, as it means his ability to get to and from work, and take his children out or collect them etc would be better, by having a decent car. A reliable car could actually benefit the family unit too, not just him.

    I fail to see the downside for the family as a whole, - you didn't relate any circumstances about that, and it does sound you may have sour grapes for your part.

    Do you have an unhealthy interest in what he does? the court will make decisions and his buying a car wont materially alter them, and no matter what you think, he can certainly present a can purchase of a second hand car as having practical & material benefits.

    My advice is to only fight the battles you have to. this isn't one of those.


  • #2


    Hi.

    if your partner bought a second hand car for 19k and it looks nice, that not really a problem for you, now is it? And assuming you are separated he doesn't need to run it by you!

    his having a nice reliable card, could actually be a positive, as it means his ability to get to and from work, and take his children out or collect them etc would be better, by having a decent car. A reliable car could actually benefit the family unit too, not just him.

    I fail to see the downside for the family as a whole, - you didn't relate any circumstances about that, and it does sound you may have sour grapes for your part.

    Do you have an unhealthy interest in what he does? the court will make decisions and his buying a car wont materially alter them, and no matter what you think, he can certainly present a can purchase of a second hand car as having practical & material benefits.

    My advice is to only fight the battles you have to. this isn't one of those.

    Why do you think the op partners an He?

    If they are waiting hit a court date, does that not imply assets haven’t been divided up.


  • #2


    Assets haven't been divided up alright. She was meant to be talking to the bank about buying me out of my half of the house but I guess the new luxury car means she has no intention of doing that. I have a proposal there where she stays in the house but takes over the mortgage of a bit over her new car repayments and only when this is in place, will the bank give me my own mortgage for a new place of my own.
    Just to note, she has about 100 quid a month more than me but works one day less.


  • #2


    he / she the point doesn't change if the pronoun does?

    a car is an asset used to get to and from work, and for family life. the OPs issue seems to be that its a leather seated audi - eg ostentatious.

    My point was, there are battles to be fought and unless op has evidence that the car wasn't needed, or it was bought from community savings etc, then it really doesnt make sense for OP to battle this.


  • #2


    I stand corrected...saw it tonight and it's not a family car A4....it's a 190bhp A5....
    She bought herself a sports car instead of buying my half of the house.


  • #2


    smokingman wrote: »
    Just looking for opinions here but is it madness to buy something like a big swanky car during a divorce process after the affidavits have been done?
    Asking, as my ex has spent 19 grand on a new Audi with leather seats last Saturday and I only found out when chatting to the kids that evening.
    I'm still waiting on a court date.

    It may be relevant, it may not. You should raise it with your solicitor, and with your barrister when you meet them. It’s unlikely to change things dramatically but does show a certain attitude.


  • #2


    smokingman wrote: »
    I stand corrected...saw it tonight and it's not a family car A4....it's a 190bhp A5....
    She bought herself a sports car instead of buying my half of the house.

    You don't get to control her spending now. Let it go, and focus on agreeing a deal with her.


  • #2


    smokingman wrote: »
    the kids
    Age of kids?
    smokingman wrote: »
    She was meant to be talking to the bank about buying me out of my half of the house
    If the kids are under 18, the house may be seen as a "family home", whereby you may need to continue to pay the mortgage, even if you don't live there any more.


  • #2


    I stand corrected...saw it tonight and it's not a family car A4....it's a 190bhp A5....
    She bought herself a sports car instead of buying my half of the house.

    Do you really think you should be dictating what her financial priorities are now? Or her choice of car? Come on now!

    The divorce decree will decide what the future of the home is, based on the evidence. It might go as you hope; it might not. But the judge is the final arbiter - not you. your 'proposal' is not an agreement.

    You sound like you might need to just step back for a minute and examine if your letting your emotions rule your judgement right now. You seem to be disturbed by the style of the car, rather than disputing the need for one. Ask yourself why you are upset by her driving a sports style car with leather seats. Why you felt the need to disclose details like the leather trim and the engine size to the internet? or the fact she works one day a week less?

    having a nice reliable car benefits the family, having mum home one day week more benefits the family. Divorced or not, i bet the kids still think your you and mum as their family unit!

    It doesn't sound like you are in a good place right now, understandably perhaps.


  • #2


    His/Her spending choices are an issue if s/he then tries to introduce the car payments later as a reason why they don't have the disposable income to buy out half of the home or as a reason why they need more in child / spousal maintenance etc.

    I'd be pissed off about it too and would flag it with the solicitor to make sure their choice of an expensive car purchase at this time didn't impact on the final settlement.

    The only positive I can see is that the affidavits of means were done up before the new car was purchased.


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