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Is it cheating if...?

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Comments

  • #32
    Jequ0n
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,412 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    @Justathought

    Thank you, this has to be the funniest and totally OT comment I have read here for a while


  • #33
    Hannibal_Smith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,441 ✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Your thread title and opening post ask whether sexting is cheating. You then say:-
    In fact, in hindsight I should have broken up with him. A cudgeling is the least he deserves after cheating on me.

    So you've already decided that for you it is cheating. He was apologetic initially - as you'd expect. And you've decided further down the line, months later that the punishment didn't fit the crime. That's all perfectly understandable. I'd say it came as a shock and the true extent of how hurt you were became clearer to you as the shock wore off.

    You're calling him your ex and are in the middle of breaking up over something else. Finalise the break up, put all your energies into that. What is the point of revisiting a score card where he didn't support you in X, while you supported him in Y. There's no point, the relationship is ending. Asking for opinions to back up your side of the argument is not going to do you any favours. Let it go. It's not like you're working to salvage anything. As I say, concentrate on getting everything organised regarding the break up and look forward, not back.


  • #34
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,239 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    For me yes. But that is my definition.

    However ultimately cheating is something couples must define for themselves. Some people don't even consider extra marital sex cheating. But only emotional affairs ..and some are ok with affairs.

    But it would certainly give an insight into his character.


  • #35
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,854 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    I honestly think you need to just continue with the break up, move on and don't look back. You think one thing, he thinks another. Neither of you are going to talk the other round. You now just both want to be more right than the other. It'll only result in you both getting more and more frustrated and making the break up nastier than it needs to be.

    Keep your dignity. Stop discussing it. It's irrelevant now. You're breaking up.

    Opinions you get will always depend on whose opinion it is. Someone who would do this in a relationship will always think it's not cheating, because they need to justify it to people who think it is in fact cheating.

    You're breaking up. Walk away and don't get dragged down by throwing dirt at each other. He doesn't care whether or not you think it was cheating. He doesn't care. That's why he did it at the time.


  • #36
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,457 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    You draw your own boundaries, if you consider it cheating and it's a deal breaker for you thats all that matters. By the sounds of it he's not taking any responsibility for the hurt he's caused you. That to me personally would be the red flag because that shows to me he doesnt care about your feelings.
    It sounds like you have other issues besides this too and he is not willing to meet you half way. How long have you been having difficulties? Could this all be a result of the covid situation or has there been problems in your relationship before this?

    Why are you with him? Do you love him, does he make you happy? Or have a fear of being alone?

    If it was me, my concern would be breaking up in 10, 15, 20 years realising you should never married this person and having to go through a long drawn out, costly divorce or worse, spend your life miserable wondering where you'd be if youd just left the relationship when you had the chance.


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