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So are you single? Argos style....

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Comments

  • #392
    hynesie08
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭hynesie08


    Esse85 wrote: »
    It's called common sense.

    So is not obtaining someone's number dodgily and texting them without permission.


  • #393
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    loalae wrote: »
    But, like, why should she have to pretend to be attached (if she is in even single) just to feel safe in her own home. She did nothing wrong and shouldn't have been put in this position. I don't get why people are saying she should have done something differently.

    All I think she should have done differently is responded to say she wasn't interested and mentioned that he shouldn't have used her number for this purpose.

    And then reached out to Tesco directly rather than via FB.


  • #394
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Candie wrote: »
    Because the issue doesn't seem to be what the guy did with her private info or the text - it's her actions that are scrutinised.

    That's not the case Candie.


  • #395
    loalae
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 547 ✭✭✭loalae


    Esse85 wrote: »
    It's called common sense.

    But why should the "victim" in this scenario have to behave in such a way as to make life easier for the "perpetrator"? He was wrong. Why are people so eager to find fault with her?


  • #396
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,906 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Candie wrote: »
    Some do, some get quite pushy and when you react to being pestered they can get abuslve, and on rare occasions that can be a bit threatening.

    It is a very small minority, but even one can cover a lot of ground.

    Hmm...

    I'm relatively well built, 6'2'' circa 14.5 stone. Used to be a black belt, spent a couple of years at MMA. What I'm saying is I could handle most situations or be to much hard work to be bothered with. I remember sparring a lad one time, several factors bigger than me, jabs felt like sledge hammers to the face.

    What I'm trying to say is I'm trying to imagine a world were I'm at the mercy of someone elses physical power and I have something they want.

    First they came for the socialists...



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  • #397
    jaxxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Tell me how wrote: »
    That's not the case Candie.
    Err have you not been reading a lot of the replies on the thread?? A lot of them have been exactly that!


  • #398
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    jaxxx wrote: »
    Err have you not been reading a lot of the replies on the thread?? A lot of them have been exactly that!

    Because I have been the one discussing this back and forth with Candie since she joined the thread and have not queried the ladies behaviour. At all.


  • #399
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Feisar wrote: »
    Hmm...

    I'm relatively well built, 6'2'' circa 14.5 stone. Used to be a black belt, spent a couple of years at MMA. What I'm saying is I could handle most situations or be to much hard work to be bothered with. I remember sparring a lad one time, several factors bigger than me, jabs felt like sledge hammers to the face.

    What I'm trying to say is I'm trying to imagine a world were I'm at the mercy of someone elses physical power and I have something they want.

    Most of the time that kind of thing never enters my head, but you have to be wary at times. I'm small, just under 5ft, and I've had someone once pick me up in a pub and throw me across a table of glasses to his friend.

    It's hard to really explain how vulnerable someone could feel if someone knew where you lived and you were put in the position of having to reject them. It must be hard to imagine, if you've never felt physically unsafe, how things like that possibly affect others.

    People say size doesn't matter but I can happily say that if someone my own size decides to punch me in the head I stand a much better chance of defending myself than I do if someone over a foot taller and twice my weight or more punches me in the head. In the second scenario, I'd be dead or brain damaged.


  • #400
    loalae
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 547 ✭✭✭loalae


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Because I have been the one discussing this back and forth with Candie since she joined the thread and have not queried the ladies behaviour. At all.


    "All I think she should have done differently is responded to say she wasn't interested and mentioned that he shouldn't have used her number for this purpose.

    And then reached out to Tesco directly rather than via FB."

    This is a direct quote from one of your previous posts.


  • #401
    Esse85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,330 ✭✭✭Esse85


    loalae wrote: »
    But why should the "victim" in this scenario have to behave in such a way as to make life easier for the "perpetrator"? He was wrong. Why are people so eager to find fault with her?

    He was wrong to begin with absolutely. You can't use information like that for romantic gain.

    She'd be making life easier for herself too, unless she wants all the stress and crap that's come with it.
    I bet her life has been far more intrusive since that incident.

    I wonder does she even regret reacting to the situation the way she did, on reflection I wonder has she considered a better approach would of been "I'm actually happily married thanks"


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  • #402
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Because I have been the one discussing this back and forth with Candie since she joined the thread and have not queried the ladies behaviour. At all.

    It wasn't specifically directed at you TMH, it was a general comment. I know you haven't queried her behaviour.


  • #403
    jaxxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Esse85 wrote: »
    He was wrong to begin with absolutely. You can't use information like that for romantic gain.

    She'd be making life easier for herself too, unless she wants all the stress and crap that's come with it.
    I bet her life has been far more intrusive since that incident.

    I wonder does she even regret reacting to the situation the way she did, on reflection I wonder has she considered a better approach would of been "I'm actually happily married thanks"


    But you don't know how she was thinking when she made the decision to post in on Facebook, none of us do. Like I said earlier, it wasn't the best decision in hindsight but she could have been terrified for all we know. Then again, she could have done it completely out of spite! We don't know and we'll never know. She did what she did and now has to live with the fallout, whatever it is. There's no point in saying this would've been the better option or whatever, cos everyone would have reacted to it differently.


  • #404
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Candie wrote: »
    Most of the time that kind of thing never enters my head, but you have to be wary at times. I'm small, just under 5ft, and I've had someone once pick me up in a pub and throw me across a table of glasses to his friend.

    It's hard to really explain how vulnerable someone could feel if someone knew where you lived and you were put in the position of having to reject them. It must be hard to imagine, if you've never felt physically unsafe, how things like that possibly affect others.

    People say size doesn't matter but I can happily say that if someone my own size decides to punch me in the head I stand a much better chance of defending myself than I do if someone over a foot taller and twice my weight or more punches me in the head. In the second scenario, I'd be dead or brain damaged.

    Can you maybe understand then how someone who might be interested in a person would go the text route rather than doing so in person?

    Is it possible he could have felt it would be less intrusive or intimidating than doing so on her door step?


  • #405
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    loalae wrote: »
    "All I think she should have done differently is responded to say she wasn't interested and mentioned that he shouldn't have used her number for this purpose.

    And then reached out to Tesco directly rather than via FB."

    This is a direct quote from one of your previous posts.

    Yes and it was made in direct to this response where her actions were commented on.
    But, like, why should she have to pretend to be attached (if she is in even single) just to feel safe in her own home. She did nothing wrong and shouldn't have been put in this position. I don't get why people are saying she should have done something differently.

    I did not suggest she was at fault for any of this but have discussed the scenario and what is acceptable behaviour. Or more specifically, when does it going from being unacceptable or inappropriate, to creepy.


  • #406
    jaxxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Can you maybe understand then how someone who might be interested in a person would go the text route rather than doing so in person?

    Is it possible he could have felt it would be less intrusive or intimidating than doing so on her door step?


    I get what you're saying but it was completely unprofessional. Whenever we order things online and give our details, we're doing so in the hope that our personal details are used only for the transaction and nothing more. What he did was completely unacceptable, a huge breach of GDPR and I have no sympathy for him whatsoever. He had no right to use her number to contact her in such a manner, regardless of whether he was interested in her or not.


  • #407
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Can you maybe understand then how someone who might be interested in a person would go the text route rather than doing so in person?

    Is it possible he could have felt it would be less intrusive or intimidating than doing so on her door step?

    We're on different pages here TMH. Both are dreadful ideas.

    This isn't a social situation. He was working, he should have left it. The answer isn't ask her out on her doorstep or sent an unsolicited text, it's walk away and leave the woman alone.

    He put his interest in her above her privacy, or that she might be put off or intimidated by him knowing where she lives. It was a selfish act that was all about him, and no regard for how she might feel about it.


  • #408
    BorneTobyWilde
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,573 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    The delivery guy has form, this was no random one off, and he probably has success banging a lot of lonely house wives n such. But this time he's actions were made public, so deserves the aggro, but seems like hes the type who could not give a toss. He's hardly a victim, that's for sure. Delivery guys, Pizza guys , Postmen, they all have their tales to tell of sexual encounters.
    He messed with the wrong person, and instead of just a knock back he had it all go pubic.


  • #409
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Candie wrote: »
    We're on different pages here TMH. Both are dreadful ideas.

    This isn't a social situation. He was working, he should have left it. The answer isn't ask her out on her doorstep or sent an unsolicited text, it's walk away and leave the woman alone.

    He put his interest in her above her privacy, or that she might be put off or intimidated by him knowing where she lives. It was a selfish act that was all about him, and no regard for how she might feel about it.

    Up to 30% of relationships apparently originate in work environments.

    On the rest of it, yes, we are on different pages.


  • #410
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    jaxxx wrote: »
    I get what you're saying but it was completely unprofessional. Whenever we order things online and give our details, we're doing so in the hope that our personal details are used only for the transaction and nothing more. What he did was completely unacceptable, a huge breach of GDPR and I have no sympathy for him whatsoever. He had no right to use her number to contact her in such a manner, regardless of whether he was interested in her or not.

    Once more.
    Inappropriate behaviour. Yes. It was correct he lost his job.

    But I do not see how it was inherently creepy unless all solicited explorations are so.


  • #411
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,906 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Candie wrote: »
    Most of the time that kind of thing never enters my head, but you have to be wary at times. I'm small, just under 5ft, and I've had someone once pick me up in a pub and throw me across a table of glasses to his friend.

    It's hard to really explain how vulnerable someone could feel if someone knew where you lived and you were put in the position of having to reject them. It must be hard to imagine, if you've never felt physically unsafe, how things like that possibly affect others.

    People say size doesn't matter but I can happily say that if someone my own size decides to punch me in the head I stand a much better chance of defending myself than I do if someone over a foot taller and twice my weight or more punches me in the head. In the second scenario, I'd be dead or brain damaged.

    Unfortunately size matters. If it didn't there wouldn't be weight classes in combat sports.

    First they came for the socialists...



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  • #412
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Can you maybe understand then how someone who might be interested in a person would go the text route rather than doing so in person?

    Is it possible he could have felt it would be less intrusive or intimidating than doing so on her door step?

    Or he could have, you know, just not asked her out at all! Ffs he hardly had a life changing interection with her during a brief delivery.

    Less intimidating! This knife will be less intimidating than this gun! Is it possible he could have tried not being intimidating at all, acted like a professional and moved on with his day???


  • #413
    AllForIt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,684 ✭✭✭AllForIt


    Must be psychologically disturbing for women to feel they are attractive to those horrible men types.


  • #414
    CalamariFritti
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,293 ✭✭✭CalamariFritti


    What a load of bull. Isn't that how sh1t happens? Boy meets girl and takes a chance? (Or the other way around) Was he supposed to think 'oh I met her in a professional capacity this would be inappropriate'. People say he texted her without her consent. Was he supposed to knock at her door and ask for her permission first?

    Its hard enough to open yourself up to possible rejection - take a chance, you know, let your guard down - without having to think of a myriad ways of how this might be 'inappropriate'.

    Creepy? Who the f*** thinks this is 'creepy'? Must be all those people who won't answer to a knock on their door unless someone announced themselves by phone first. Or wouldnt answer their phone to an unknown number. Scary. All those creepy people out there. Cant be careful enough.

    The guy had a lucky escape anyway. What a cow. Perfectly alright to not be interested obviously happens a million times a day but she had to turn it into a social media event. WTF is wrong with people?


  • #415
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Once more.
    Inappropriate behaviour. Yes. It was correct he lost his job.

    But I do not see how it was inherently creepy unless all solicited explorations are so.

    You seem to want to overlook that he knows where she lives. He texted her, so she doesn't know how he reacted to the rejection.

    Those are gamechangers.

    It also was not an unsolicited exploration in a social situation. It just can't be compared to approaching someone on a night out. It's a completely different situation, that's what you need to take on board.


  • #416
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Or he could have, you know, just not asked her out at all! Ffs he hardly had a life changing interection with her during a brief delivery.

    Less intimidating! This knife will be less intimidating than this gun! Is it possible he could have tried not being intimidating at all, acted like a professional and moved on with his day???

    So, is this what you would advise all single people to do for fear of being viewed as creepy?

    If so, would you see this as being very different in how people have behaved to this point in society?


  • #417
    Esse85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,330 ✭✭✭Esse85


    jaxxx wrote: »
    But you don't know how she was thinking when she made the decision to post in on Facebook, none of us do. Like I said earlier, it wasn't the best decision in hindsight but she could have been terrified for all we know. Then again, she could have done it completely out of spite! We don't know and we'll never know. She did what she did and now has to live with the fallout, whatever it is. There's no point in saying this would've been the better option or whatever, cos everyone would have reacted to it differently.

    It's pretty clear what she was thinking and how she was feeling if you go back and read the article, a lot of descriptive words used.

    Disgusted
    Unsafe
    Angry
    He could get malicious
    I don't know his motives.
    I do not feel safe
    Concerned when I report this breach he may react negatively
    Completely disgusted
    Reporting this to trading standards and also the government.

    Looks to me like she's looking for £££


  • #418
    jaxxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    CalamariFritti wrote: »
    What a load of bull. Isn't that how sh1t happens? Boy meets girl and takes a chance? (Or the other way around) Was he supposed to think 'oh I met her in a professional capacity this would be inappropriate'. People say he texted her without her consent. Was he supposed to knock at her door and ask for her permission first?

    Its hard enough to open yourself up to possible rejection - take a chance, you know, let your guard down - without having to think of a myriad ways of how this might be 'inappropriate'.

    Creepy? Who the f*** thinks this is 'creepy'? Must be all those people who won't answer to a knock on their door unless someone announced themselves by phone first. Or wouldnt answer their phone to an unknown number. Scary. All those creepy people out there. Cant be careful enough.

    The guy had a lucky escape anyway. What a cow. Perfectly alright to not be interested obviously happens a million times a day but she had to turn it into a social media event. WTF is wrong with people?
    Do you not have any sort of sense of data protection or are you just blatantly ignorant in general?
    Esse85 wrote: »
    It's pretty clear what she was thinking and how she was feeling if you go back and read the article, a lot of descriptive words used.

    Disgusted
    Unsafe
    Angry
    He could get malicious
    I don't know his motives.
    I do not feel safe
    Concerned when I report this breach he may react negatively
    Completely disgusted
    Reporting this to trading standards and also the government.

    Looks to me like she's looking for £££

    Because articles are always 100% accurate.. .. right..

    Give me strength. I'm done.


  • #419
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Up to 30% of relationships apparently originate in work environments.

    On the rest of it, yes, we are on different pages.

    Where they're both in work. Not where some stranger knows where you live and texts you with private information he shouldn't have used to put you in the position of rejecting him without knowing how he'll react.

    Absolutely not remotely comparable to a usual work environment.


  • #420
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,028 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Candie wrote: »
    You seem to want to overlook that he knows where she lives. He texted her, so she doesn't know how he reacted to the rejection.

    Those are gamechangers.

    It also was not an unsolicited exploration in a social situation. It just can't be compared to approaching someone on a night out. It's a completely different situation, that's what you need to take on board.

    Your neighbour knows where you live Candie. As does mine. And me them.

    Should no relationship be pursued amongst people who knows where the other lives for this reason? I would have thought knowing that you were within reasonable distance of each other would be pretty influential element in considering a relationship.


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  • #421
    hynesie08
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭hynesie08


    Esse85 wrote: »
    It's pretty clear what she was thinking and how she was feeling if you go back and read the article, a lot of descriptive words used.

    Disgusted
    Unsafe
    Angry
    He could get malicious
    I don't know his motives.
    I do not feel safe
    Concerned when I report this breach he may react negatively
    Completely disgusted
    Reporting this to trading standards and also the government.

    Looks to me like she's looking for £££

    The article that selectively cropped the comments and didn't ask her for a statement??


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