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Lazy dating?

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Comments

  • #32
    Ella281
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭Ella281


    Tried a few things like suggested and it ended with me suggesting dates and trying to see him again.

    I know better but gave the benefit of the doubt because I thought I was being “hard” on him but I was right!
    If anything, he became more difficult to meet up with, so I’m willing to bet he knows what he's doing.

    Feel like an eejit trying when I knew if he was interested genuinely, he would of made a effort..


  • #33
    sadie1502
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 666 ✭✭✭sadie1502


    Ella281 wrote: »
    Tried a few things like suggested and it ended with me suggesting dates and trying to see him again.

    I know better but gave the benefit of the doubt because I thought I was being “hard” on him but I was right!
    If anything, he became more difficult to meet up with, so I’m willing to bet he knows what he's doing.

    Feel like an eejit trying when I knew if he was interested genuinely, he would of made a effort..

    Well at least you know now. Your gut is normally right. If someone is interested they are keen and show it. Draw a line under it girl and move on :-)


  • #34
    bitofabind
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 939 ✭✭✭bitofabind


    Draw a line under it. As my mother would say, the simple answer is usually the right one. More power to you for being proactive and forward moving - it's a great way to be, far more attractive than being passive and lazy and will get you what you want in the end.

    Onwards and upwards :)


  • #35
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,215 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    My take would be he isn't an assertive personality type.


  • #36
    Purgative
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,511 ✭✭✭Purgative


    Ella281 wrote: »

    Feel like an eejit trying when I knew if he was interested genuinely, he would of made a effort..


    Don't feel bad. You gave it a shot and you win some you lose some. Its a pity that he wasn't more honest.


    All the very best.


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  • #37
    Ella281
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭Ella281


    Hi lads
    So basically, we seemed to clear the air and kept dating even though I was still planning and making the effort.
    Things seemed to be going ok but last time I seen him, he was highly disrespectful towards me with the things he was saying.
    Anyway despite having agreed to another date on Monday, he never got in touch and has been ghosting me since. Not sure what has gone on here but I’m so upset as I knew I had my answer and still pursued it, giving the benefit of the doubt and hoping they aren’t “all the same” :(


  • #38
    bitofabind
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 939 ✭✭✭bitofabind


    Well that's entirely predictable. Why did you pursue it despite your gut screaming at you?


  • #39
    Ella281
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭Ella281


    bitofabind wrote: »
    Well that's entirely predictable. Why did you pursue it despite your gut screaming at you?

    Thought I was wrong or overthinking it


  • #40
    blarb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 89 ✭✭blarb


    Oh OP, I feel your pain from your update. I was in the same position a couple of years back with a guy. I was doing all the work, I felt crap about it, tried to bring it up with him but still ended up doing all the work. It ended when I felt disrespected and I finally gave up.

    Honestly, it's not a good sign to be feeling this way. I've thankfully had better relationships since and each one has shown me more and more what a healthy relationship feels like. So much so that the most recent guy is almost calling me TOO often (almost, but I like it :) ). I honestly never thought I'd say such a thing!! So please, don't feel bad about trying again with him, you obviously liked him. But he's shown you his true colours now so please do all you can to look after yourself and let him go.

    There are a couple of books which help me in dating, particularly cos I often found I was doing all the chasing. One is "He's Just Not That Into You" - it can be annoying and repetitive at times but it's sometimes like the kick up the a55 I need!

    Another one, which is also quite old-fashioned and gender-normative, but which I find nonetheless interesting and helpful too is "Mars and Venus on a Date". I take some of his stuff with a pinch of salt, and only take what I need from it.

    But between these two books and experimenting with my attitude to dating, I found I got closer to finding someone more suited to me and my needs :) I wish the same for you!


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