Horses...

This bloke is sitting reading his Evening Herald newspaper when the wife
sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" he says. "That was for the piece of paper in your
trouser pockets with the name Mary-Ellen written on it," she replies.
"Don't be daft," he explains, "two weeks ago when I went to the races,
Mary-Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on."
She seems satisified and at this apologises, and goes off to do work around
the house.

Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him
with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes
around, he says, what the heck was that for?"

"Your horse phoned."

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yeah, i'm the ****ing energizer bunny...