Caroline Flack found dead

Silentcorner wrote: »

It is this simple

If your girlfriend hops a lamp off your head while you sleep you are being abused.
If call the cops because you feel threatened to the point where you call the cops, you are being abused.
An abused individual is always vulnerable in and out of that relationship and we know men are far less likely to report abuse.

This incident and the reaction to her tragic death just goes to show how far away we are from accepting that women, just like men, are capable of horrific behaviour in relationships.

The well funded "Industry", that is funded to help people who are abused are clearly not fit for purpose and I'd go so far to say they should be ashamed of themselves.

What we’re really far away from, is saying it’s ok for you to promote an agenda by putting words in a guy’s mouth to support your own viewpoint, completely disregarding his opinion as though he’s somehow incapable of understanding that he’s “a victim”.

Maybe in this instance you could just take his word for it, and provide support to the next person who wants it instead? The ex-boyfriend “reached out” to her current boyfriend on social media, and the boyfriend told him mind his own business. Sometimes people just don’t want “help”, and don’t see themselves as victims.

Was it a healthy relationship? No, seems to have been toxic af, but there really were a pair of them in it, and neither viewed themselves as a victim.

Raconteuse wrote: »

Your comment is what's astounding. You are completely disregarding that she smashed her boyfriend over the head so hard that a police officer said the scene looked like attempted murder. That's the scale it was - police were called.

Is it sociopathic to disregard such an attack?

Who's disregarding the attack? Not me. I'm just not basing my entire opinion of her around it, which is what you're doing. I'm not ignoring the flux of personal anecdotes that people have shared about her, anecdotes which paint a far different picture than the one you're trying to paint, one of which brought a tear to my eye. Was it kind to hit her boyfriend in the head with a lamp? No. Does that make her inherently unkind as a human being? Obviously not. Is she a hypocrite for posting a meme about kindness on Instagram? Again, a big fat f*cking NO. It's such a mean thing to deduce.

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Only found out who she was after she died but I read a couple of times that she'd reached out for help but was told by the person she reached out to that she was draining.
This hit a cord with me because when I was at a low point, I did everything youre supposed to do. Reached out to friends and family who turned their backs, most of them treated me like id killed their dog or something for asking for help, it was horrible. Went to counselors who couldn't offer any help but suggesting mindfulness and breathing, rang the help lines only for the volunteer to repeat all my sentences back to me as to show they were 'listening' I would have gotten more helpful responses from my cat.
Theres so much in the media telling people with bad mental health to talk to someone but what happens when theres no one willing to listen? Theyre left feeling more alone and isolated and ashamed of themselves for being openly vulnerable and reaching out.
We could all be a little more kinder and helpful to each other, people are so quick to pick other people apart over unimportant 'flaws' and the level of hate directed towards people they dont like is over the top.
Some of the most seemingly nicest people can treat other people terribly. If you see it happening, don't involve yourself in the bullying and bitching and maybe even be the bigger person and stand up for people who are been bullied and excluded. It happens in all walks of life.
Your words and actions can easily save or end someones life.

You’ve articulated so well exactly how I’ve been feeling about this. I’m at that low point and no one wants to listen. You even made me laugh with your comment about the cat 🙂

I’m not going into blame games here because I’ve no right to comment but I’m desperately upset at this death.

dark crystal wrote: »

Just to put this into context (those pictures of the bedroom seem to have coloured people's views), Caroline had lacerations to her wrist, which her boyfriend claims was where all (or most of) the blood came from.

If this is true she was self harming before the arrest, getting fired and all the social media stuff. This would point to mental health issues rather than something external causing her issues.

silver2020 wrote: »

Large retailers have the power to bring the tabloids to book.

If Tesco, Sainsbury & Asda decided to suspend sales of The Sun or The Mail for a period of 3 months, you'd find that they would very quickly change their ways.

Retailers made a lot on Newspapers, they don't sell them as a favour.

Ladybird18 wrote: »

Yeah and despite what the courts decided my opinion on Paddy Jackson differs.
Its just why accusations of rape and domestic violence were interlinked I suppose I found bewildering.
And also how they were linked. Like one ended in suicide. Why link the two cases?

I think its more the trial by media aspect, that in Flack's case didn't get as far as court proceedings. And the social media abuse they suffered, not to mention the effect it had on their respective careers. Jackson won't ever get work in Ireland again for example. Flack left on her own accord, albeit pressurised to do so more than likely.

Commonalities can be made to be fair.

This will probably be an unpopular opinion, but frankly she reminds me of that asshole who murdered Clodagh Hawe and her children.

I honestly think that she killed herself because she couldn't handle the fact that she knew what the outcome of the trial would be. Police who attended the alleged assault of her boyfriend said that the place looked like a horror movie with the blood. Caroline flipped over a table and had to be physically restrained by police. Police bodycam footage was to be used at the trial. She knew what it would show, and I think she knew that she would go down for it and couldn't cope. The CPS doesn't proceed with prosecutions against the wishes of the victim unless they have enough evidence to be confident of a conviction. Her ex boyfriend has said that she was abusive in their relationship also.

'She seemed like a lovely, warm, bubbly person'. Yes, that may be what she seemed like, but it appears that in actuality she was the type of person who would try to cave in someone's head with a lamp while they slept.

'You can't judge her by one event'. Sorry, but when someone tries to cave in someone's head with a lamp while they sleep, I feel pretty justified in judging them. Something similar actually happened to a friend of mine in college; she was asleep in bed when her boyfriend came home after a night out with a group of friends. One of the girls went into the bedroom and, for whatever reason, punched the sleeping woman in the face and broke her nose. You know what happened the assaulter after that? I have no idea, because after she was reported to the Gardai we never went near her again because she was the type of psycho who would attack someone in their sleep.

Maybe Caroline Flack had mental issues, but it's not like she couldn't afford help if she wanted it. I'm sorry for her family that they have lost their daughter, but I find it very hard to have any sympathy for the woman herself.