Caroline Flack found dead

Gynoid · 16-02-2020 06:35PM

Genuinely I have never seen Love Island, or any other reality TV show ever. Bit of a Luddite like that. But I have seen stills and it seems to be young ones in bikinis and chaps in shorts snogging for public entertainment? I think they might have sex or simulate it under the covers when it is dark? Recently a good pal of mine told me a survey done in her primary school revealed it was the number 1 show for girls in 5th and 6th class, ie girls of about 11 or 12. Now not only do they get to be influenced by a really odd show but they also have to wrap their heads around one of its recent stars committing suicide in the wake of her assaulting her boyfriend. It's all a bit much for children to have such influences and exposure, isn't it? If I had young children I would throw the telly out the window.

Hannibal_Smith · 16-02-2020 06:35PM

This ending is far more than any Court would have handed down.

Millicently · 16-02-2020 06:36PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

You’re demonstrating my point - he doesn’t consider himself to have been a victim of abuse, but other people who do will happily substitute in their own narrative - “oh a victim of abuse would say that”, bit bloody convenient for them, isn’t it?

Chances are if a man had done what she did, there would be as many people defending him, particularly if they imagined that she somehow deserved it. It’s come up in hundreds, and I mean hundreds of threads that have been on just Boards alone throughout the years - minimising his behaviour, looking for reasons as to why she made him do it, etc.

He may well be called a thug too, before someone would jump in and say if the genders were reversed she wouldn’t be called a thug.

My God, I think you should read your post out loud to yourself because you just accused the man of being a thug who probably deserved a good beating. You've ignored the fact that because so many victims of domestic abuse are afraid to, embarrassed to or ashamed to report domestic violence the laws had to be changed so that charges could be brought if there was enough evidence of it. The Police went in wearing body cameras, they recorded what they saw, it was a bloodbath and the CPS decided that a case should be brought against her.

I'm sick of hearing that 'she was vulnerable' and shouldn't have been prosecuted, what that means is she was an effing nut job with a short fuse and a violent temper. Manipulative to the last she waited until the point where she got the maximum attention she craved and did as much damage as she could to kill herself. She could have done it next week or next month but no, she went for the day before Love Island was due to air. I'm appalled at the amount of people who think that her being nuts means that she shouldn't have been charged let alone prosecuted and that it should all have been covered up.

16-02-2020 06:37PM

Flutterby90 wrote: »

It is very sad that she saw no other way out and it’s scary to imagine how alone she must have felt.

I agree the British tabloids and social media can be toxic and have an ugly side but I’m sure her internal troubles were the main cause behind this tragedy. Whether that be loneliness, shame, guilt or helplessness.

It’s very much a chance for us to challenge ourselves in how we treat those with mental health issues. Not just the tabloids and media but as individuals. Try not to judge, remember no one is perfect, be aware of how those close to you are doing, try to offer a listening ear it can make such a difference.

Money and fame certainly can’t buy this.

Also have never seen anything like this said about a man accused of domestic violence who later committed suicide. Accused being the operative word.

We don't know why she killed herself. We.dont know for sure if she was the violent one or if he made it up. It seems unlikely, especially considering the big age difference between them. She was more like his mammy than his girlfriend, and women in these type of relationships tend to want a little boy they can boss around.

It might have had nothing whatsoever to do with the media. Lots of people commit suicide every day with no media scrutiny.

Marz66 · 16-02-2020 06:37PM

Her job was in TV not social media so it’s not fair to say she brought this on herself by working in social media. When she started on X Factor, social media wasn’t really a thing.

None of us really know why she did what she did. We’re just guessing. I agree her mental health was probably made worse by the bad publicity but not the cause.

Don’t know if it does or should make a difference but the night of the violence was caused by her getting jealous over something. It’s not like she was being violent every night. Not that violence can ever be condoned even once. But if she lost the plot as a once off one night, it’s obviously humiliating to have everyone know about it and judge her before the court case was over.

This is awful and has struck a chord with so many. Maybe because we have all done silly things in our past. Or maybe because looking back now it’s easy to predict what might have happened and obviously she did not get enough support to get through this. People are saying they hope Lewis gets support. People weren’t saying the same about Caroline but in hindsight it’s easy to see that she needed support to get through this.

One eyed Jack · 16-02-2020 06:39PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Never seen this on boards or anywhere else. People might say he didn't abuse her but I've never seen anyone say she deserved it where the topic was a man abusing a woman.

To be fair you’re not here that long, but in plenty of threads where women have been smacked about, there have always been posters looking for reasons as to why the women were smacked about by looking at their behaviour. Some people are champions of women’s equality when it comes to dishing out violence.

Nothing strange about it. It’s just disingenuous is all, same as the ‘reverse the genders’ crap instead of discussing what actually happened, they’d rather discuss hypothetical situations that are far more rare, as though that’s their idea of ‘gender equality’.

16-02-2020 06:42PM

Why is a man that abuses a woman a monster, but a woman is mentally ill? Do people really think
women incapable of evil? That's not been my experience.

One eyed Jack · 16-02-2020 06:46PM

Millicently wrote: »

My God, I think you should read your post out loud to yourself because you just accused the man of being a thug who probably deserved a good beating. You've ignored the fact that because so many victims of domestic abuse are afraid to, embarrassed to or ashamed to report domestic violence the laws had to be changed so that charges could be brought if there was enough evidence of it. The Police went in wearing body cameras, they recorded what they saw, it was a bloodbath and the CPS decided that a case should be brought against her.

I did no such thing. The rest of what you’ve written about the law is a bit nonsensical, but have it your way, I’m not going to quibble.

Millicently wrote: »

I'm sick of hearing that 'she was vulnerable' and shouldn't have been prosecuted, what that means is she was an effing nut job with a short fuse and a violent temper. Manipulative to the last she waited until the point where she got the maximum attention she craved and did as much damage as she could to kill herself. She could have done it next week or next month but no, she went for the day before Love Island was due to air. I'm appalled at the amount of people who think that her being nuts means that she shouldn't have been charged let alone prosecuted and that it should all have been covered up.

Step away from the keyboard :pac:

16-02-2020 06:49PM

cloudatlas wrote: »

Eh that's not the point I was making, but I've seen it happen before for example big football coach Jerry Sandusky hid information about pedophilia and abuse by one of his coaches but when he died he was heralded as a hero and you weren't allowed to say anything else because of sports. It's censorious and wrong in my opinion.

Joe Paterno is the guy you're thinking of. Sandusky was on his staff.

One eyed Jack · 16-02-2020 06:51PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Why is a man that abuses a woman a monster, but a woman is mentally ill? Do people really think women incapable of evil? That's not been my experience.

No, it’s just that women don’t exhibit the same level of physical violence as men is all, and they’re generally deemed weaker and more incapable of inflicting physical injury on a man, than the other way around where men are generally far more capable of inflicting greater injury on a woman.

Because they’re aware they can inflict greater injury, they’re held to a greater standard of keeping their fists to themselves and keeping control of their temper.

skallywag · 16-02-2020 06:53PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

To be fair you’re not here that long, but in plenty of threads where women have been smacked about, there have always been posters looking for reasons as to why the women were smacked about by looking at their behaviour. Some people are champions of women’s equality when it comes to dishing out violence.

Can you link up an example of that?

i.e. where 'women have been smacked about, there have always been posters looking for reasons as to why the women were smacked about by looking at their behaviour'

Limpy · 16-02-2020 06:54PM

Laura whitmore shed some tears according to various papers. A real friend wouldn't take the job of someone who they say they care about.

shutup · 16-02-2020 06:54PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

No, it’s just that women don’t exhibit the same level of physical violence as men is all, and they’re generally deemed weaker and more incapable of inflicting physical injury on a man, than the other way around where men are generally far more capable of inflicting greater injury on a woman.

Because they’re aware they can inflict greater injury, they’re held to a greater standard of keeping their fists to themselves and keeping control of their temper.

You really are the very worst contributor on boards.ie

Gynoid · 16-02-2020 06:58PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

No, it’s just that women don’t exhibit the same level of physical violence as men is all, and they’re generally deemed weaker and more incapable of inflicting physical injury on a man, than the other way around where men are generally far more capable of inflicting greater injury on a woman.

Because they’re aware they can inflict greater injury, they’re held to a greater standard of keeping their fists to themselves and keeping control of their temper.

On the Amber Heard/ Johnny Depp thread a poster named tritium posted the following from a COSC 2003 Report -

You do get that 29% of women and 26% of men suffer domestic abuse in Ireland right? You do realize that the funding is about €20m in one case and under a million in the other right?

These are COSCs statistics

• 15% of women and 6% of men suffer severe domestic abuse
• 29% of women and 26% of men suffer domestic abuse when severe abuse and minor incidents are combined
• 13% of women and 13% of men suffer physical abuse or minor physical incidents and
• 29% of women (1 in 3) and only 5% of men (1 in 20) report to the Gardaí.

What I took from those stats, which I admit surprised me, is that the numbers are not so far apart for the sexes.

One eyed Jack · 16-02-2020 06:58PM

skallywag wrote: »

Can you link up an example of that?

i.e. where 'women have been smacked about, there have always been posters looking for reasons as to why the women were smacked about by looking at their behaviour'

Any of the threads where bouncers have been caught on camera taking digs at women when they thought they could get away with it.

gmisk · 16-02-2020 06:58PM

Limpy wrote: »

Laura whitmore shed some tears according to various papers. A real friend wouldn't take the job of someone who they say they care about.

Totally disagree.
Someone else was going to have to do the job.
Flack herself was happy Whitmore took over.
https://www.irishmirror.ie/showbiz/celebrity-news/love-islands-laura-whitmore-says-21221464

tritium · 16-02-2020 07:07PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Why is a man that abuses a woman a monster, but a woman is mentally ill? Do people really think
women incapable of evil? That's not been my experience.

Unfortunately there is a social double standard when it comes to crimes like this. It hasn’t been helped by years of a narrative from certain quarters that domestic violence only affects one gender to any extent. However it’s also quite toxic to imply that when a women is involved in a crime that has gender undertones that somehow they’re vulnerable and should therefore be excused from any consequences. It’s not the first time this argument has been used either. I think it’s possible to have sympathy for Caroline Flack and her family while accepting that being accused of committing an awful deed inherently means you have to face the law and answer the case against you.

One eyed Jack · 16-02-2020 07:09PM

Gynoid wrote: »

On the Amber Heard/ Johnny Depp thread a poster named tritium posted the following from a COSC 2003 Report -

You do get that 29% of women and 26% of men suffer domestic abuse in Ireland right? You do realize that the funding is about €20m in one case and under a million in the other right?

These are COSCs statistics

• 15% of women and 6% of men suffer severe domestic abuse
• 29% of women and 26% of men suffer domestic abuse when severe abuse and minor incidents are combined
• 13% of women and 13% of men suffer physical abuse or minor physical incidents and
• 29% of women (1 in 3) and only 5% of men (1 in 20) report to the Gardaí.

What I took from those stats, which I admit surprised me, is that the numbers are not so far apart for the sexes.

I get that’s how the figures are presented alright, and when I look at those stats all I can see is first of all that they’re way out of date, and second of all I can see is a Government body looking for more funding. Nothing surprises me about the way those statistics are being presented tbh.

ToddDameron · 16-02-2020 07:14PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I get that’s how the figures are presented alright, and when I look at those stats all I can see is first of all that they’re way out of date, and second of all I can see is a Government body looking for more funding. Nothing surprises me about the way those statistics are being presented tbh.

Do you have statistics to the contrary, out of interest?

Tea drinker · 16-02-2020 07:18PM

Ms2011 wrote: »

I actually despair for the human race sometimes!!!

Ah look that type of sexism is fairly normal, people always say men done something to deserve it. They stopped saying that about women, maybe it will happen for men too.

As regards thinking women are physically incapable of harming a man.... not the girls in my gym!

I'm sorry the woman died, she was obviously very troubled and this result is tragic regardless of her giving her fella a few slaps.

pjohnson · 16-02-2020 07:19PM

A strange response in a way. Her career was based around social media. She hardly thought it was going to be all positive at the best of times.

If you are facing court and a conviction surely you would know to stay offline as it will be even worse than usual.

feelthepower · 16-02-2020 07:21PM

Very sad, People going on about hitting her husband etc. but Caroline was obviously mentally ill if she took her own life.

The best think I ever did was close my snapchat, Facebook, Instagram along with other social media and just kept Whatsapp and Messenger.

R.I.P

skallywag · 16-02-2020 07:22PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Any of the threads where bouncers have been caught on camera taking digs at women when they thought they could get away with it.

Can you reference a link where 'women have been smacked about, there have always been posters looking for reasons as to why the women were smacked about by looking at their behaviour'

Can you? No?

Gynoid · 16-02-2020 07:25PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I get that’s how the figures are presented alright, and when I look at those stats all I can see is first of all that they’re way out of date, and second of all I can see is a Government body looking for more funding. Nothing surprises me about the way those statistics are being presented tbh.

It is an under researched area. But even a cursory glance at google results will help you. Here is a 2012 Swedish study for you to be going on with...
https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-12-945

Ultimanemo · 16-02-2020 07:26PM

RIP.

Millicently · 16-02-2020 07:27PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I did no such thing. The rest of what you’ve written about the law is a bit nonsensical, but have it your way, I’m not going to quibble.

Step away from the keyboard :pac:

You absolutely did and if anyone needs to step away from the keyboard it's you. You are acting like a childish bully lashing out at everyone who disagrees with you. Sounds like you have a bit of a temper issue yourself.

One eyed Jack · 16-02-2020 07:31PM

ToddDameron wrote: »

Do you have statistics to the contrary, out of interest?

I’m not being smart, but statistics to the contrary of what?

I’m saying I’d take those statistics with a pinch of salt, even the way they’re presented is just nonsense. They’re presented out of context where somewhere else in what is likely a 200 page report, they give a vague definition of ‘domestic violence’, a definition which has changed a lot since that report was produced.

The figures are just unreliable is what I’m saying, and the true figures are impossible to quantify.

nacho libre · 16-02-2020 07:31PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

You’re demonstrating my point - he doesn’t consider himself to have been a victim of abuse, but other people who do will happily substitute in their own narrative - “oh a victim of abuse would say that”, bit bloody convenient for them, isn’t it?

Chances are if a man had done what she did, there would be as many people defending him, particularly if they imagined that she somehow deserved it. It’s come up in hundreds, and I mean hundreds of threads that have been on just Boards alone throughout the years - minimising his behaviour, looking for reasons as to why she made him do it, etc.

.

In his case he maybe felt emasculated, that's why he may not want to characterise it as abuse. A lot of men do this who are abused by their female partners.
Are there really hundreds of threads on boards with posters defending physical violence against women by men?
I can only think of a couple of threads involving bouncers. Is your argument therefore Flack's partner may have done something to warrant him being hit with the lamp?

One eyed Jack · 16-02-2020 07:32PM

Gynoid wrote: »

It is an under researched area. But even a cursory glance at google results will help you. Here is a 2012 Swedish study for you to be going on with...
https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-12-945

You’re grand thanks.

Gynoid · 16-02-2020 07:34PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

You’re grand thanks.

I know I'm grand

But you may be talking out of your hole on this matter.

Caroline Flack found dead

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