Lost in life at 40

okiss · 23-01-2020 04:33PM

Hi Op,
When I read your post I had a good idea of how you feel. To the world it looks like you have a good job, nice wife and kids and are not short of money but the reality is different.
Your job even without having to manage staff would have pressure to get things done right. Your putting yourself under a lot of pressure trying to do your work and then ensuring the people under you do what they are supposed to do.
Have you people working under you that are keen to progress or to learn more? Perhaps you could delegate your workload better and let them gain some more experience by doing this?
Could you work in your present company and not have to manage other people?
Ok, your wages may not be as good but your stress levels would be lower as your just responsible for you own work load.

I would talk to your wife about the way you are feeling now. I would go to the doctor get blood tests because you could be run down and or have a problem with you thyroid. I would get a sick cert and take a few weeks off work as it sounds like you need a brake. One of my friends did this a few years ago and she went on to get a better job when she was off.

I knew a man who is married and has one child. He was not happy in his job as he was managing people. He then had some health issues and was out of work for a while. It made him look at his life and he decided to leave that job once he found another job. He started to look for other work and he got a totally different job. His wife said to me recently he is like a changed man because he is far happier now.

As one of my friends said to me - work is part of your life but it should not be all of your life. You need to say I finish work at x time, I wont bring work home unless it's vital. You need something to look forward to each week even if it only a trip to the cinema or an evening class. I would agree with another poster here if their is a mans shed near you to get involved in this. You said you like working with your hands and they do a lot of this type of work for their local communities.

Granadino · 23-01-2020 05:41PM

As a QS, you're probably earning good money at this stage, so you could treat your job as that. A way to earn money and that's it. I know lots of people who aren't in the job of their dreams. I might be one of them, but instead of searching and searching, I treat my job like a job instead of "ah wow, the career of my dreams!!!" It helps me pay for things that I enjoy in life and I'm sure I'm earning way way less than you and a bit older!
You need to leave your job at the gate when you go home. Plenty of indispensable people in the graveyard.
Any other area you could explore as a job opp as a spin of being a QS?
Sign up to do a 10K or something. It will get you back out and about, or if you are near the sea and can sign up for surfing lessons, give it a lash.

LouisD · 13-02-2021 09:18PM

Hello, I would like to thank you all who took the time to post a reply. Although it has been over a year, I have re-read responses a number of times. I hope to respond to some/all shortly

drunkmonkey · 13-02-2021 09:26PM

How are you Louis, I think we're all in the same boat now, adrift looking for happier days.

beauf · 13-02-2021 09:41PM

I think the lockdown is causing a lot of people to re-examine and take stock.

Penfailed · 14-02-2021 12:46AM

Casey78 wrote: »

It won't solve everything but I'd get back running asap. Might sound ridiculous but running has got me back on track in my life.

Good advice. Any exercise is good for the head as well as the body.

14-02-2021 12:52AM

Penfailed wrote: »

Good advice. Any exercise is good for the head as well as the body.

Agreed. Running is particularly good for mental health. You can start a run feeling tired, frazzled, and all round fed up of life. 30-40 minutes later, you’ve experienced a dose of endorphins and life seems just a little brighter.

OP, please take up running again ASAP. Even 5-10 minutes daily for the first couple of weeks. You’ll quickly rebuild stamina and be capable of running a few miles, which will enable you to get into that trance-like state, where you forget your problems for a while.

It’s not a panacea, but it’s a great first step in regaining your mental health. Best of luck.

Penfailed · 14-02-2021 01:01AM

Hamachi wrote: »

Agreed. Running is particularly good for mental health. You can start a run feeling tired, frazzled, and all round fed up of life. 30-40 minutes later, you’ve experienced a dose of endorphins and life seems just a little brighter.

OP, please take up running again ASAP. Even 5-10 minutes daily for the first couple of weeks. You’ll quickly rebuild stamina and be capable of running a few miles, which will enable you to get into that trance-like state, where you forget your problems for a while.

It’s not a panacea, but it’s a great first step in regaining your mental health. Best of luck.

Having gone from running a marathon quite a few years back to doing nothing for the past few years, I've just started again. Following a 'Couch to 5k' app to break myself in gently. It's a great free app that builds up from the position of a non runner to being able to run 5km after nine weeks. I'd highly recommend it it for mental and physical health.

popa smurf · 14-02-2021 11:09AM

I remember myself when I hit 40 back in 2009, we just had our fourth child and as I worked in construction there wasn't a job to be got anywhere so I stayed at home and took over the child care and all that goes with it. Herself enjoyed her work and kept the show on the road and i looked after everything else. 10 years on and kids can now look after themselves and I am back working 30 hours a week, 7 to 1, I work flat out for those 6 hours and I get funny looks walking off site at 1 with my days work done, I get the job done and my employer is happy. I am up at 5.30 and pop a berocca and hit the ground running.

Lost in life at 40

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