Partners ex refuses to leave his house

Dundalkshelly · 07-01-2020 12:04PM #1

Hiya, hope somebody can give me some advice,

I am with my partner since 3 years and his former girlfriend, he was with her since 20 years, refuses to leave his house, they have a 10 years old child as well, I have to mention.

Its his house she never ever paid any mortgage or what ever and told him to move out if he's not happy!!! She is a lazy piece and living on the dole at the moment. I don't mind her living there at the moment cause of the child but I don't want to see her spending the rest of her life in his house cause we do have some plans for the future. He thinks it's a tricky situation cause of "irish law" and mothers rights and bla bla bla ... but would like to live with me at some stage when the child is a bit older.
Can he at some stage just "throw" her out or can that back fire cause I don't want to see him losing his own house.
Any advice welcome, cheers

Caranica · 07-01-2020 01:56PM

Regardless of whether she's paid anything or not if they were together 20 years she will have some entitlements to a share in the property. Your partner needs to speak to a solicitor, legal advice isn't allowed on here.

Apiarist · 07-01-2020 02:05PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

...Any advice welcome, cheers

Go to a solicitor for an advice. Regardless whether she paid the mortgage, she may be entitled to a part of the house, in which case the house may need to be sold. On the other hand, the ex may apply for council housing and/or accept some financial help in moving out to some other place. Lots of possibilities.

punisher5112 · 07-01-2020 02:07PM

She will most likely get the house till the child finishes school/college so he will be paying the mortgage and basically getting nothing for it and then half it to get her out. As in pay half of what's it's worth or sell.

Dundalkshelly · 07-01-2020 02:11PM

Ok thanks just asking cause found this on Citizens Information online:

If a cohabiting couple splits up, the family home (and other family assets) will belong to the person who holds the legal title to the home/assets. This means that in the case of the family home, the person who originally bought the house and whose name is on the title deeds will usually own the house.

This also applies to a married couple who split up. Marriage does not automatically give you ownership of your spouse’s assets. Where the family home was bought and registered in both spouses’ names, they are the joint owners. However, where the house is registered in the name of one spouse only, it may be solely that spouse’s property.

ELM327 · 07-01-2020 02:13PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

Ok thanks just asking cause found this on Citizens Information online:

If a cohabiting couple splits up, the family home (and other family assets) will belong to the person who holds the legal title to the home/assets. This means that in the case of the family home, the person who originally bought the house and whose name is on the title deeds will usually own the house.

This also applies to a married couple who split up. Marriage does not automatically give you ownership of your spouse’s assets. Where the family home was bought and registered in both spouses’ names, they are the joint owners. However, where the house is registered in the name of one spouse only, it may be solely that spouse’s property.

The above post is a good example of why not to believe everything you read. The marriage and family home cannot be owned by only one party, regardless of title name.

Dundalkshelly · 07-01-2020 02:24PM

Not married they just live together, no relationship any more and he bought the house before she moved in, hence I don't see why she might have entitlement to ownership

NSAman · 07-01-2020 02:26PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

Not married they just live together, no relationship any more and he bought the house before she moved in, hence I don't see why she might have entitlement to ownership

Go to a solicitor, he will probably say the same thing as others have said.

It isn’t just his house anymore, its a family home.

rainbowtrout · 07-01-2020 02:27PM

It's not just a 'tricky situation' because of Irish law. His ex has rights under Irish law. It's not something he can just wriggle out of, and rightly so. I'd assume that he already knows this.

He will need to go to a solicitor if he wants proper legal advice on the situation, but no he can't just throw her out.

07-01-2020 02:29PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

Not married they just live together, no relationship any more and he bought the house before she moved in, hence I don't see why she might have entitlement to ownership

The law isn't that simple. His ex could well have legal grounds to remain in the house.

The only way to find out is for your partner to contact a solicitor and get proper legal advice. I suspect his ex has already done so.

marieholmfan · 07-01-2020 02:29PM

It's much more her house than his and that's just how it is.

pwurple · 07-01-2020 02:30PM

He needs to tread very carefully here. Is he the guardian of the child?
He needs to seek legal advice.

Your position is awkward... you're effectively the side-girlfriend of a man cohabiting with the mother of his child, and their child, ie, a family unit. None of the parties involved need to pay any heed to what you request or advise.

punisher5112 · 07-01-2020 02:31PM

A friend is in this exact problem.

House beside our work, she finished it, he left for a few days, came back she got solicitor and he was advised to leave.
By his own too.

Child around 12 so she will be in the house by the looks of it till school end and she isn't paying a cent.

marieholmfan · 07-01-2020 02:32PM

punisher5112 wrote: »

A friend is in this exact problem.

House beside our work, she finished it, he left for a few days, came back she got solicitor and he was advised to leave.
By his own too.

Child around 12 so she will be in the house by the looks of it till school end and she isn't paying a cent.

The mortgage payments will be taken into account by a judge when setting maintenance.

Dick Turnip · 07-01-2020 02:34PM

marieholmfan wrote: »

It's much more her house than his and that's just how it is.

Out of curiosity what do you mean by this? Just that the courts will more than likely rule in favour of her staying there?

marieholmfan · 07-01-2020 02:38PM

Dick Turnip wrote: »

Out of curiosity what do you mean by this? Just that the courts will more than likely rule in favour of her staying there?

Yep. That's how it is.

Dundalkshelly · 07-01-2020 02:50PM

Well are you saying somebody working paying his mortgage and buying a house has less rights than somebody living in it not even paid for a brick of the whole thing???

Salary Negotiator · 07-01-2020 02:56PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

Well are you saying somebody working paying his mortgage and buying a house has less rights than somebody living in it not even paid for a brick of the whole thing???

The courts will decide, but as they were in a relationship for years and have a kid it's not as simple as who paid for the house. Their lives are intertwined and the courts will look at total contributions not just monetary.

Dundalkshelly · 07-01-2020 02:58PM

pwurple wrote: »

He needs to tread very carefully here. Is he the guardian of the child?
He needs to seek legal advice.

Your position is awkward... you're effectively the side-girlfriend of a man cohabiting with the mother of his child, and their child, ie, a family unit. None of the parties involved need to pay any heed to what you request or advise.

Both are guardians of the child and I am the main-girlfriend, o dear this is complicated and unfair if you guys are right

marieholmfan · 07-01-2020 02:58PM

Salary Negotiator wrote: »

The courts will decide, but as they were in a relationship for years and have a kid it's not as simple as who paid for the house. Their lives are intertwined and the courts will look at total contributions not just monetary.

It certainly sounds like he hasn't moved out of his house.

rainbowtrout · 07-01-2020 02:58PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

Well are you saying somebody working paying his mortgage and buying a house has less rights than somebody living in it not even paid for a brick of the whole thing???

The reality is that whoever has custody of the child will be the one living in the house as the child has to be provided for. That in most cases is the mother. So while it's not legal advice, it's quite likely that she would be allowed to remain in the house until the child is 18 at the very least.

The notion of her paying a mortgage or not is not as cut and dried as you might think. You said they were together for 20 years and have a 10 year old. You don't say how long they have lived together, but I would presume that it's likely to be at least 10 years based on the child's age. If they made a decision that she wouldn't work in that time and she would mind the child rather than putting the child in childcare, then she was working in the home, and did not have the opportunity to earn a wage. If she had a low paid job before the child was born, it may not have paid for her to continue working and also pay for childcare. Now this may not have been the case at all, but it's one possibility. She may have been contributing in a different way.

But what you do need to do is let them sort it out themselves through their solicitors if they are going to go down that road. You will only get one side of the story from your partner.

Based on the fact that he told you that she would be staying in the house until the child is older, he might have already had that advice from his solicitor but hasn't told you that. It's only coming to a head now because you are in a position where you want to advance your relationship.

Financially up until now, the cheapest way to live for him is to remain sharing the house with his ex. If they were able to live under the same roof for three years then they may have come to some agreement.

bladespin · 07-01-2020 03:01PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

Well are you saying somebody working paying his mortgage and buying a house has less rights than somebody living in it not even paid for a brick of the whole thing???

From what I've seen, then yes, he may have worked and paid for the house but she lived with him there and bore him a child, would he have been able to pay without her assistance, support etc etc. Family law here is generally biased toward the mother (just an opinion).

joeguevara · 07-01-2020 03:02PM

So you want to live in a house rent free and have never paid anything towards, but are giving out about someone living in a house rent free but never paid anything towards. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttttt!

Dundalkshelly · 07-01-2020 03:12PM

joeguevara wrote: »

So you want to live in a house rent free and have never paid anything towards, but are giving out about someone living in a house rent free but never paid anything towards. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttttttttttttttttt!

You are some simple minded fool, I have never lived any where rent free, have worked all my life and will never ever live some where for free! Just want to spend the rest of my life with my soul mate and partner, not now but someday when the child is old enough

marieholmfan · 07-01-2020 03:13PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

You are some simple minded fool, I have never lived any where rent free, have worked all my life and will never ever live some where for free! Just want to spend the rest of my life with my soul mate and partner, not now but someday when the child is old enough

Don't rise to him; you'll never meet him or talk to him and if he met you he'd never say such tings to you.

As you say he's just a fool.

rainbowtrout · 07-01-2020 03:15PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

You are some idiot, I have never lived in a house rent free, have worked all my life and not saying I would live in a house rent free, never ever, paid rent all my life and will always do so ... just want to live with my partner, the one I want to spend my life with

But in none of your posts have you considered his child which has to be provided for in one way or another. You say it's unfair that he has paid for his house and she has paid nothing etc etc. His child needs a place to live and ultimately in any legal decision that is the deciding factor about who lives where.

If the child is to live with his mother, it is likely they will remain in the house. You don't mention any provision for the child, only that you want to live with your partner? Do you want his child out on the street??

Dundalkshelly · 07-01-2020 03:18PM

rainbowtrout wrote: »

But in none of your posts have you considered his child which has to be provided for in one way or another. You say it's unfair that he has paid for his house and she has paid nothing etc etc. His child needs a place to live and ultimately in any legal decision that is the deciding factor about who lives where.

If the child is to live with his mother, it is likely they will remain in the house. You don't mention any provision for the child, only that you want to live with your partner? Do you want his child out on the street??

As I said as soon as the child is old enough, just thinking ahead, I have raised a child on my own with no support so I know what its like and I made it, paid rent, went to work etc. and am proud of it

joeguevara · 07-01-2020 03:40PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

You are some simple minded fool, I have never lived any where rent free, have worked all my life and will never ever live some where for free! Just want to spend the rest of my life with my soul mate and partner, not now but someday when the child is old enough

She gave him 20 years of her life and the way you talk about her is disgraceful. You call her lazy and make specific reference to the dole. Yet she is the mother of his child.

You talk about your plans for the future and your want to live in a house that was bought 17 years before you even laid eyes on him. Yet when called out on it you resort to calling me a simple minded fool. Must have hit a nerve I suppose.

But anyway, here is a good article on this and your partner should look at it. https://www.aclsolicitors.ie/blog/the-rights-of-common-law-spouses-in-ireland

Also, have a look at adverse possesion. If no rent is requested for over 12 years, they may seek possession so this is also something to look at.

Mrs OBumble · 07-01-2020 03:50PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

Well are you saying somebody working paying his mortgage and buying a house has less rights than somebody living in it not even paid for a brick of the whole thing???

Would you cop on.

She carried his child and is raising it for him.

Think forward a bit to what will happen when you've had a child by him, put your own career on hold to raised it and looked after his domestic needs for a few years - and he decides to trade you in for a younger model. Do you think you should have any rights?

rainbowtrout · 07-01-2020 04:01PM

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

As I said as soon as the child is old enough, just thinking ahead, I have raised a child on my own with no support so I know what its like and I made it, paid rent, went to work etc. and am proud of it

That has nothing to do with this situation. This child has two parents who I presume are both raising him as they both live under the same roof. Are you suggesting that this guy moves in with you and good luck to the child, his mother can raise him himself just because you raised a child alone? This guy has a legal obligation to his child regardless of the situation with the mother.

The child is 10. And will be provided with a home under law until they reach 18.

bladespin · 07-01-2020 04:03PM

rainbowtrout wrote: »

The child is 10. And will be provided with a home under law until they reach 18.

Possibly older if they remain in full time education.

Partners ex refuses to leave his house

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