Just sad about everything

Girlgone · 02-01-2020 02:45PM #1

Was seeing a guy for nearly a year. At the end of September he just stopped talking to me out of the blue, stopped replying to text, snaps and stopped talking to me in person. On New Years eve I found out he has a new girlfriend and I've just felt really down since. Not necessarily because he doesn't want to be with me, but that he thinks so little of me that he couldn't even be bothered to talk to me about how he felt and i was completely disposable to him.

*It felt really great to write that out and vent

LegacyUser · 02-01-2020 03:06PM

Hey, felt the need to reply before you go down that rabbit hole.
1) you can't control how someone else acts and how someone acts isn't always a reflection of you or how they feel about you- they have a lifetime of experiences that have shaped them, including shaping how they learnt to communicate (or not, in this case).

2) rejection isn't a reflection on you or who you are, it's simply one person deciding or both deciding that the relationship isn't working for them. There could be a million reasons why and usually we never really know because they often don't know themselves why. Don't drive yourself mad trying to understand the why.

3) endings are good things, it gives room to grow and learn from mistakes. Do learn from the relationship

4) when it comes to investing in someone, meet them where they're at. Don't commit to someone who's not committing back. Look back and see were you perhaps investing more in him than he deserved?

Chin up, it sucks.be glad it happened sooner rather than later X

02-01-2020 03:36PM

Hey.. it's just the way things have gone with the whole dating craic..it's definitely more of a reflection on him than anything else..

You'll be ok.. you're better off without him really if he is that inconsiderate..

shesty · 02-01-2020 07:58PM

Well he sounds delightful.
Cliche and all as it is, you are better off with him gone.Nothing you can do about his behaviour unfortunately, the only person it reflects badly in is him.

punisher5112 · 02-01-2020 08:02PM

You dodged a bullet there op....

Wow what a grade A tool.

You give someone all your time for a year and boom they ghost you.

Horrible horrible person what he did was vile but try and move on.

It's going to hurt but it will get better.

Go and do some things that make you happy or have a night in or out with friends and talk about it, something women tend to be better with so I'm sure you will be covered well there.

Happy New Year and hopefully it will be a much better one.

Lily_Aldrin7 · 02-01-2020 08:07PM

Ah what a coward! He just felt uncomfortable breaking up with you I’d say, saving himself the unpleasant conversation. As the others have said, this has nothing to do with you, it’s all him. You’re not responsible for his actions or choices, don’t let this bring you down!

Millionaire only not · 02-01-2020 11:26PM

What goes around comes around, I love that saying as it is so true!
He’ll get his own yet !

Extrahotmocha · 03-01-2020 08:53AM

Hi OP. First off, I know nothing any of us will say on here will make you feel better about this situation right now, and I hope you’re doing ok. Just to echo what everyone else has already said though - this guy is an absolute coward and is not worthy of a second more of your time.

To be in somebody’s life for a year and think it is acceptable to just stop talking to them in the the hopes they get the message is, quite frankly, vile behaviour. I understand that some people may be afraid of facing conflict or whatever, but I’m struggling to find a way to see it from this guys point of view. There really isn’t a good excuse for this type of thing.

Enough about him though, time to work on yourself on bit - take time for you, hang out with friends, spend time on your hobbies. The biggest piece of advice I can give you for your own happiness, is to stop following him on all social media. Being connected to him in this way gives him the opportunity to reach out when things go wrong with this new girl. It also gives him insight into your life which he really doesn’t deserve.

What age was this lad if you don’t mind me asking OP?

Girlgone · 03-01-2020 01:44PM

Extrahotmocha wrote: »

What age was this lad if you don’t mind me asking OP?

I'm 28, he's 35

Girlgone · 03-01-2020 01:49PM

I just wanted to thank everyone that took the time to reply. I really appreciate it.

I know myself everything that's been said, but it's just really crap when something like this happens.

Really do appreciate everyone's time ðŸ’œ

03-01-2020 01:51PM

Yeah, you'd wonder about someone who would just blank someone after a year like that.. especially at 35 years of age..but yeah, that's the way things are going dating wise.. anyway, mind yourself..

Extrahotmocha · 03-01-2020 02:05PM

Girlgone wrote: »

I'm 28, he's 35

There are no words. You are much better off without!

Try as best you can to put this guy to the back of your mind. I’ve had twits do similar to me, but if it happened after a year I’d be pretty devastated.

I really wish you the best of luck going forward, I hope you feel better soon x

Honeydew3456 · 03-01-2020 09:04PM

Aw you poor thing. I am shocked by the cruelty of people at times. That's very hurtful.

Please realise that this is no reflection on you. It is all him. I know you might not feel it now but you had a lucky escape from a top class a-hole!!

I hope you feel better about it all real soon x

Girlgone · 05-01-2020 11:54PM

Guys really just wanted to thank ye all again. I was having a hard time with all of this at the weekend but i re read all the replies and I feel so much better and ready to move forward.

CurtisEbear · 06-01-2020 06:34PM

Don't have any much to add OP, just that you're better off without him.

Honestly I'll never understand how grown men can act like that.
Please know this is more of a reflection on him than on you.

Just sad about everything

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