How to get some self respect

Mr. Incognito · 11-10-2019 02:52PM

Change your number.

punisher5112 · 11-10-2019 02:54PM

I'm out.

ILoveYourVibes · 12-10-2019 05:04AM

Op this has been a real eye opener. Thank you.

You have been really honest.

Don't worry about it too much. You will move on eventually everyone always does ..it would be better if it were sooner rather than later though for your sake.

Lots of love.

LegacyUser · 12-10-2019 08:42AM

Lostinlove wrote: »

I get why you are all annoyed. It's frustrating.

It's hard, it's really hard for me.
The irony is Monday night I'd written in my we gratitude diary (started to help with improving my self respect), that I was grateful I had developed the knowledge to see what was going on and that I was aware I was not putting myself first. As in that I could see I was being reeled back in and was aware that was happening. Awareness is the first step!

Change doesn't happen over night and I think it's wrong of some of you to expect that. I could have come in and said... I'm struggling I need more support and the result would have been different but the reality is the thoughts are the same. I decided to share them, to show the struggle.

However the reaction has given me pause for thought. It kinda scared me.

Thank you of course to those who got it and understood.

I'm feeling a lot better and stronger again.

Have you blocked him on all social media and on your phone? If you haven't, maybe exam the reasons why. And don't use the fact that he is a family friend as an excuse.

I just wanted to touch on the comment you made about liking them vulnerable. That is an extremely unhealthy outlook to have. There is a balance between vulnerable and arrogant i.e. normal! That's what you should be aiming for, OP, someone who is normal.

Block this guy on everything, do not allow him to come to your house, keep your distance. The only person you owe anything to here is yourself, not him nor anyone else.

LegacyUser · 12-10-2019 01:46PM

How long does it take to moderate a post???

wiggle16 · 12-10-2019 06:39PM

how longlong wrote: »

How long does it take to moderate a post???

Mod:

We check in as often as we can, but we are volunteers, so you need to bear in mind that we are not always in a position to approve posts promptly.

joeguevara · 13-10-2019 07:03PM

Self Respect is black or white. You either have it or you don't. You asked in your OP how do you get it but then request for advice not telling you to stop what you are doing immediately.

Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. If you want self respect then you can't be doing what you are doing and hoping that you will respect yourself. Every time he sends a text or comes across as caring you will read into it and when he tells you he's not interested you will lose another bit of respect.

So you either want to continue this charade and continue to be hurt or you admit that you stop. They are your two choices. You can't have a little bit of self respect.

TimeToShine · 13-10-2019 07:18PM

This thread is an exhibition of how women tend to overthink things, I'm honestly cringing at some of the nonsensical sensationalism being posted. This fella is in me hole a master manipulator shrewdly pulling strings behind the scenes to keep OP danging at arms length, they aren't having sex so Occam's razor says that he is doing what regular human beings do - he sees OP as a nice person and a good friend but doesn't find her physically attractive - you know the basis for all regular , platonic friendships? Just because the OP is constantly superimposing her infatuation for him on proceedings and constantly mulling it over in her head doesn't make him an evil, scheming and unscrupulous genius who is "getting all the benefits of a girlfriend without the sex" to paraphrase an earlier poster, I mean good God.

This will be my only post here. Sorry for what you're going through OP but this is not his fault at all, you need to work this through yourself.

leggo · 13-10-2019 08:14PM

Having strung women along before in my youth, it’s not something you need a Masters in manipulation for. Women (and I’d imagine men are the same) who are really into you tend to fill in the blanks themselves. You just need to take the sex and other good stuff and feed them enough to keep them happy, then get defensive and come up with some excuse when they ask questions and rightfully pick up on your lack of interest. It’s often not even a conscious thing, you can convince yourself you are interested and mean what you say, when really it’s just handy having someone there when someone you actually like isn’t around.

Sometimes, if the person is mad about you, it can actually be harder to resist because they’ll try create opportunities for you and remove any boundaries. Want sex? Sure that’s all they’re offering. Don’t want commitment? They’ll tell you they don’t either and hope you change your mind along the way. But there’s a line when you know the person is into you and you’re using them, it generally gets spelled out very clearly if you let it go on long enough (and has in the OP’s case), and then yeah you’re being a dick if you keep going.

How to get some self respect

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