100 Reasons Why its great to be a man

100 Reasons Why its great to be a man

---

>> 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
>> 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
>> 3. You know stuff about tanks.
>> 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
>> 5. Monday Night Football.
>> 6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
>> 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
>> 8. You can open all your own jars.
>> 9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
>> 10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
>> 11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on
>>every shot of someone crying.
>> 12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
>> 13. All your orgasms are real.
>> 14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
>> 15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
>> 16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere
>> you go.
>> 17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
>> 18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
>> 19. Your last name stays put.
>> 20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
>> 21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that
>> everyone secretly hates you.
>> 22. You can kill your own food.
>> 23. The garage is all yours.
>> 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>> 25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
>> 26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
>> 27. You never have to clean the toilet.
>> 28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
>> 29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
>> 30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>> 31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
>> still be your friend.
>> 32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
>> 33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
>> 34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
>>
>> 35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
>> 36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
>> 37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
>> 38. You can write your name in the snow.
>> 39. You can get into a nontrivial ****ing contest.
>> 40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
>> 41. Chocolate is just another snack.
>> 42. You can be president.
>> 43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
>> 44. Flowers fix everything.
>> 45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
>> 46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
>> 47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
>> 48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
>> 49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
>> 50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
>> 51. Foreplay is optional.
>> 52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
>> 53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the
>> room.
>> 54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
>> 55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is
>> coming by.
>> 56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
>> 57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
>> 58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
>> 59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours
>> without even thinking: He must be mad at me.
>> 60. The world is your urinal.
>> 61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is
>> about to leave you.
>> 62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
>> 63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
>>
>> 64. One mood, all the time.
>> 65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look
>> like him.
>> 66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's
>> just too skeevy.
>> 67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
>> 68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
>> 69. Same work....more pay.
>> 70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
>> 71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch
>> adjustment.
>> 72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
>> 73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
>> 74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's
>> population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
>> 75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
>> 76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
>> 77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
>> 78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
>> 79. ESPN's sports center.
>> 80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
>> 81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
>> 82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
>> 83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
>> 84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
>> 85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't
>> tell your friends you've changed.
>> 86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
>> 87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "**** it!"
>> 88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
>> might become lifelong buddies.
>> 89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
>> 90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
>> 91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not
>> in the mood.
>> 92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
>> 93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a
>> hammer and throw it across the room.
>> 94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
>> 95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
>> 96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and
>> anniversaries.
>> 97. Not liking a person does not eliminate having great sex with
>> them.
>> 98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice
>> anything different?"
>> 99. Baywatch
>>100. There is always a game on somewhere.