Ultimate Crisp Tournament

JohnnyFlash · 26-08-2019 10:07AM

Earthhorse wrote: »

Just checking in on this this morning. Can't believe Skips, Snax, Chickatees and Johnnie Onion Rings are all out in the first round.

Skips losing to Waffles only rubs prawn cocktail in the wound; Waffles have this horrible aftertaste that Skips never did.

Some of the match ups seem odd to me too; Johnnie Onion Rings and Banshee Bones would attract a similar alternative following and by rights should be going up against more mainstream "S&V" and "C&O" branded crisps.

It was a difficult evening for many of us, Earthy. Seeing Skips lose was particularly hard to take - voted against by people who never even tried them because they assume prawn flavoured crisps would be manky.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. · 26-08-2019 10:09AM

Bacon Fries

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

It was a difficult evening for many of us, Earthy. Seeing Skips lose was particularly hard to take - voted against by people who never even tried them because they assume prawn flavoured crisps would be manky.

Sorry for calling you a "runt" earlier in the thread Johnny. You're a bright spark. A true Renaissance man.

JohnnyFlash · 26-08-2019 10:11AM

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Sorry for calling you a "runt" earlier in the thread Johnny. You're a bright spark. A true Renaissance man.

No problem, Sally Anne. And sorry for telling you to shove a 6 pack of chickatees up your hole. Emotions got the better of all of us.

Slideways · 26-08-2019 10:15AM

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Sorry for calling you a "runt" earlier in the thread Johnny. You're a bright spark. A true Renaissance man.

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

No problem, Sally Anne. And sorry for telling you to shove a 6 pack of chickatees up your hole. Emotions got the better of all of us.

Great to see genuine apologies brought about by the humble crisp.

Maybe if Trump and Rouhani sat down with a multipack they might just work things out

ibarelycare · 26-08-2019 10:29AM

As if this ceasefire is gonna last once the tournament gets going again.

Earthhorse · 26-08-2019 10:33AM

It reminds me of the Civil War. Brother fighting brother, crisp against crisp, a typical tactic used by the Brits to keep their enemies suppressed, as all bourgeoisie have the proletariat throughout history; divide and conquer.

Crisps should cost no more than 10p. They should come in a partially see through packet. Some of the crumbs will have adhered themselves to these small windows, a tempting preview of what's inside. They should not come in tubes. They should not be "hand-crafted". Sea salt is no better than good, old fashioned land salt. They should be promoted with some novelty art or characters e.g. a BMXer or mythical creatures.

Bring me your Skips, your Snax, your Johnnie Onion Rings, yearning to be free! The wretched refuse of your corner store! Send these, the cheap crisps, tempest-tost to me; Ireland unfree shall never be at peace!

EmmetSpiceland · 26-08-2019 10:50AM

Earthhorse wrote: »

Crisps should cost no more than 10p. They should come in a partially see through packet. Some of the crumbs will have adhered themselves to these small windows, a tempting preview of what's inside.

I’d agree with this but I should add that they should also have a little “story” on the back.

Think of Polyphemus on the back of “Monster Munch”, the Banshee story on “Banshee Bones” and the little “Space Raiders” tale before they got swapped for an X Files-esque alien head.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. · 26-08-2019 10:54AM

Bacon Fries

Truly this is fine company. What marvelous, passionate, cultured people abound on this vaunted public forum.

Squall Leonhart · 26-08-2019 11:03AM

Bacon Fries

I didn't see cheese puffs anywhere

Earthhorse · 26-08-2019 11:05AM

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I’d agree with this but I should add that they should also have a little “story” on the back.

Think of Polyphemus on the back of “Monster Munch”, the Banshee story on “Banshee Bones” and the little “Space Raiders” tale before they got swapped for an X Files-esque alien head.

Of course. Part of the joy of purchasing a packet of Monster Munch was wondering which mythical creature would be on the back of the packet. The Cyclops? Polyphemus? Some one-eyed giant? So many mythical creatures to choose from. So many.

EmmetSpiceland · 26-08-2019 11:09AM

Earthhorse wrote: »

Of course. Part of the joy of purchasing a packet of Monster Munch was wondering which mythical creature would be on the back of the packet. The Cyclops? Polyphemus? Some one-eyed giant? So many mythical creatures to choose from. So many.

The “issue” there was that we only got the one flavour. There were, supposedly, different “creatures” on the back of the packets of other flavours.

bee06 · 26-08-2019 11:12AM

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Truly this is fine company. What marvelous, passionate, cultured people abound on this vaunted public forum.

You must have got a great night sleep!

Earthhorse · 26-08-2019 11:15AM

bee06 wrote: »

You must have got a great night sleep!

Probably had a packet of Wheelies before bedtime to settle his stomach.

ToddyDoody · 26-08-2019 11:23AM

What have we learned? You're all idiots

Autosport · 26-08-2019 11:26AM

Bacon Fries

This is it wrote: »

I was up all night... How did Chickatees lose

#chickateesgate #freethechickatees

Slideways · 26-08-2019 11:34AM

Democracy just doesn’t work.

The proof is here as clear as day

JohnnyFlash · 26-08-2019 11:52AM

Listen, there’s a lot of people who believe that chicken has no place as a flavouring in crisps. Like how chicken has no place on a pizza.

EmmetSpiceland · 26-08-2019 11:55AM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Listen, there’s a lot of people who believe that chicken has no place as a flavouring in crisps. Like how chicken has no place on a pizza.

“Chicken” has long been one of the weakest of all the crisp, and corn snack, flavourings.

You get some “fancy” crisp trying it out every now and then but the results are always the same. Overly salted with some herbs on for “garnish”.

Very weak.

Stevieluvsye · 26-08-2019 11:58AM

Enjoyable read of 67+ pages. Comedy mixed in with emotion, frustration and joy. Controversy all round.

Chickatees rightly beaten. I would have binned King. Too much of a gamble on the freshness

Roger Hassenforder · 26-08-2019 12:04PM

Bacon Fries

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The “issue” there was that we only got the one flavour. There were, supposedly, different “creatures” on the back of the packets of other flavours.

If i hadnt seen such riches I could live with being poor

So much more promised. So much unfulfilled.
I've never forgiven them.

EmmetSpiceland · 26-08-2019 12:04PM

This is it wrote: »

Lays/Walkers roast chicken are the business, don't think you can get them here. Not a top tier crisp but they have their place

Yeah, they have their place when you’re in some distant land who’s taste in crisps doesn’t extend past black pepper or “ketchup”.

Sure, you buy them and you even convince yourself that you like them but that’s usually down to your body’s craving for salt in the abominable heat.

Badly Drunk Boy · 26-08-2019 12:05PM

Bacon Fries

This is it wrote: »

I was up all night... How did Chickatees lose

When I was a kid, you got Chickatees when you were being given a 'treat' but didn't deserve it, i.e. as a punishment. :pac:

Franz Von Peppercorn II · 26-08-2019 12:06PM

Bacon Fries

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Listen, there’s a lot of people who believe that chicken has no place as a flavouring in crisps. Like how chicken has no place on a pizza.

Even the most ardent supporter of the Chickatee cult said it was like oxo chicken flavoured snacks. At best.

I’ll be having none of that.

Earthhorse · 26-08-2019 12:07PM

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The “issue” there was that we only got the one flavour. There were, supposedly, different “creatures” on the back of the packets of other flavours.

My understanding is the only way to access these secret flavours was to buy multipacks or to (whisper it) travel north of the border.

Franz Von Peppercorn II · 26-08-2019 12:08PM

Bacon Fries

Another Brexit casualty.

bee06 · 26-08-2019 12:08PM

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

When I was a kid, you got Chickatees when you were being given a 'treat' but didn't deserve it, i.e. as a punishment. :pac:

It was a great day when I found out that you could by a multipack with just Wheelies and not the “variety” pack that includes the Chickatees and Burger Bites.

Dread to think what will happen when I do the shopping this week if this thread is still going. Serious cravings this morning for all sorts.

the beer revolu · 26-08-2019 12:09PM

I missed this yesterday.
Interesting that there is no love for (ready)salted crisps.
I love a good salted crisp.
There also seems to be a lack of love for S&V, generally.
Baastard Hunky Dory discontinued their Smoky Bacon flavour - best smoky bacon flavour since the aforementioned Sam Spudz - the best ever smoky bacon flavour!

I like Keogh's flavours, generally.
O' Donnell's are pants and just made by Largo - farmer in the field is ballshít.
Tayto Bistro C&O are my current favourite crisp - even in a crisp sambo:eek::eek:
Oh, and the better the bread the better the crisp sambo - fcuk off with your Brennan's muck.

check_six · 26-08-2019 12:10PM

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

The “issue” there was that we only got the one flavour. There were, supposedly, different “creatures” on the back of the packets of other flavours.

Hold your horses there a minute! There's more than one flavour of Monster Munch?? Where could these mythical creatures be found?

Also, what's the story with their switch to "Mighty Munch"? Terrible name.

A bigger question is when exactly Rancheros went to hell? I remember them from my youth as being crumbly on the outside, having different Wild West characters' biographies on the back, and being amazing. The biogs went first, and then about 25 years ago they went kind of smooth and streamlined on the outside and were instantly terrible. Someone else suggested a much more recent switch to awfulness, and I suddenly thought that maybe it isn't the crisp that's changed at all, and it's me that's altered in my crisp appreciation as I've aged.

Is there any hope for the future to reverse this? Can we plough money into stem cell research to repair our crisp centres? Can a trip to Mars help? Can anyone offer any hope?

the beer revolu · 26-08-2019 12:13PM

Someone, briefly, did a Worcestershire Sauce flavour crisp in Ireland in the 90s.
Anyone remember?
Could have been Perri.
They were fab.

gerrybbadd · 26-08-2019 12:14PM

Bacon Fries

Can't believe I missed this yesterday.

Good jaysus, Perri Cheese and Onion were the best crisps back in the day, even over Tayto. Had I only been earlier, i'd have slung an aul vote in

Ultimate Crisp Tournament

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