9 month old won't go to sleep in cot

Boots234 · 22-08-2019 09:07AM #1

Our 9 month old has only ever gone to sleep when she is being held and placed in the cot when she is in a deep sleep. Sometimes she goes in and wakes and needs to be held again. This can take 2 hours to put her down. Last night she went upstairs at half 7 and was still awake at 10 o'clock. She has recently started rolling onto her stomach in the cot which makes it worse as she won't put her head down. We have obviously tried putting her in and letting her cry but it hasn't worked. It is the same for day time naps, she could be in the cot for 2 hours and only have a couple of 5 minute sleeps even when she is wrecked.

We have a 3 year old so it is very difficult to get her to nap during the day as she is watching the older childs every move and we hate having to resort to having to go for a drive to get her to sleep.

When she does eventually go down at night she will sleep away until our 3 year wakes her and us up (which she frustratingly does 2 or 3 times a night), she then has to be brought into our bed to go back to sleep.

My wife is going back to work next month and I will have to put the two of them down a couple of nights every week. We just don't know how to get her to go to sleep herself. Has anyone experienced this or suggestions on what to do? Thanks

pc7 · 22-08-2019 09:09AM

ok may not be popular but would you not just let her sleep with you guys? There are guidelines on safe co-sleeping. We've done it with our smallies, our goal was whatever gets us most sleep.

bee06 · 22-08-2019 10:01AM

pc7 wrote: »

ok may not be popular but would you not just let her sleep with you guys? There are guidelines on safe co-sleeping. We've done it with our smallies, our goal was whatever gets us most sleep.

This is what I was going to suggest as well. Whatever results in the most sleep is key for us!

OctoberMammy · 22-08-2019 10:35AM

I know it won't help immediately, but I recommend reading Lucy Wolfe's 'The Baby Sleep Solution' if you can - she talks about issues like this and her advice is very straightforward.

Does your little one have a bedtime routine at all - i.e. winding down time, PJs on, read a book, bottle, etc.? She talks about the importance of that a lot.

I'm no expert, but if it was me, I'd be looking to break the habit of her being held, rather than taking her into the bed with me. Totally understand why people do this because lack of sleep is torture, but each to their own.

shesty · 22-08-2019 01:12PM

What Octobermammy said.

If you would prefer her to sleep in her own bed, then you need to help her to work out how to fall asleep by herself. You need to change your behaviour first, then hers will follow.

There are heaps of sites and books out there with advice, so to be honest I am not going to get deeply into it here.The likes of Lucy Wolfe's book or something similar will give you really good suggestions that are not crying it out, and ways for you to manage.It will take a few weeks because after all, you will be breaking a habit of a lifetime (for her).But it will happen.As for the nightime wakings...she is only nine months, so obviously that will take time to resolve.But if you can get her to get into the habit of going into the cot awake, and falling asleep herself, it will help with the nighttime ones.

bee06 · 22-08-2019 01:20PM

This may explain why sleep has become problematic at 9 months as well.

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/amp/

9 month old won't go to sleep in cot

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