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Did any of you ever get slapped as a child?

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    #212
    Strazdas
    Registered Users Posts: 18,083 ✭✭✭✭Strazdas


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    Its something I sincerely disagree with.
    It teaches children that if someone is bigger and stronger than you, you can beat them into submission by using force to get them to do what you want. That violence is a reasonable reaction to anger and frustration. It perpetuates poor communication skills.

    And its also confusing as hell, because we punish children for hitting/hurting each other, telling them its unacceptable. Which makes those who do it hypocrites - ie. its ok for someone bigger than you to hit you when they're angry, but its not ok for you to hit someone else when you're angry.
    I wouldn't hit another adult, I wouldn't hit someone else's child, so why on earth would I hit my own, my flesh and blood?

    I was hit as a child, nothing too excessive, but I remember it making me feel so frustrated...Particularly when I didn't feel I deserved it.
    I was honestly the most passive child, I didn't have and still don't have a temper, I'd be the type to burst into tears when angry rather than lash out.
    But I remember being sent to my room after getting a few slaps and the feelings of injustice and inner rage boiling up in me.
    It made me so frustrated and resentful that I wasn't even sorry for what I was done, meaning the whole thing was pointless.

    I have serious doubts it leads to any respect for the parents. A parent can be firm, decisive, assertive etc with their children without resorting to hitting them.

    My gut feeling is that it puts up a barrier between the parent and child. I keep hearing people claiming how their parents loved them but how they were occasionally physically 'disciplined'. I can't see how using violence could do anything but intrude on the closeness of the relationship and fuel resentment.


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    #213
    PinotNero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 163 ✭✭PinotNero


    Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions.


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    #214
    Ms2011
    Registered Users Posts: 3,120 ✭✭✭Ms2011


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    But I remember being sent to my room after getting a few slaps and the feelings of injustice and inner rage boiling up in me.
    It made me so frustrated and resentful that I wasn't even sorry for what I was done, meaning the whole thing was pointless.

    I remember feeling like this after being grounded or having a possession taken from me so I don't think it just stemed from the slap but more from feeling like you hadn't been listened to or at least that was how it was for me.


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    #215
    Stop moaning ffs
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Stop moaning ffs


    janfebmar wrote: »
    I got hit on the head by a catholic teacher in school.

    How do you know he was catholic? What has his religion got to do with it?


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    #216
    Wompa1
    Registered Users Posts: 8,166 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    Stop moaning ffs wrote: »
    How do you know he was catholic? What has his religion got to do with it?

    All of the teachers who hit me were Catholic. Most of them Priests or Nuns. Religion has a lot to do with it.


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    #217
    Stop moaning ffs
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Stop moaning ffs


    Wompa1 wrote: »
    All of the teachers who hit me were Catholic. Most of them Priests or Nuns. Religion has a lot to do with it.

    Very odd element of the story to remember though no?
    You dont hear ‘a catholic teacher hit me!’
    Why specifically pick out the religion?

    Another matter entirely if it read ‘a Christian brother bate the living daylights out of us!’
    We’ve all heard that and some been through it.


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    #218
    4ensic15
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,691 ✭✭✭4ensic15


    Stop moaning ffs wrote: »

    Another matter entirely if it read ‘a Christian brother bate the living daylights out of us!’
    We’ve all heard that and some been through it.

    Christian brothers were paid to do it.


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    #219
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Still have marks on my back....


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    #220
    Stop moaning ffs
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Stop moaning ffs


    They were a specialist kind of evil.

    Did they get paid extra for the groping

    They sure got away with it


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    #221
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Thumpette wrote: »
    I remember one of the main reasons I got slapped was for being clumsy. I was forever falling and really hurting myself and their response was to hit me for it.
    Thankfully times have moved on and nowadays overly clumsy kids are tested for dyspraxia.


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    #222
    mad muffin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    Slapped. Smacked. Slipper. Belt.


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    #223
    Stop moaning ffs
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Stop moaning ffs


    Quote: janfebmar
    I got hit on the head by a catholic teacher in school.

    What’s his religion got to do with it?

    Still waiting on an answer to this jan?

    485579.png


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    #224
    Hobosan
    Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭Hobosan


    My mother would strike me and it did no harm. In fact it was so effective as a disciplinary device that when she'd act up during her dementia years, I'd give her a good smack aswell.

    Oh wait, I didn't do that because I'm not an idiotic sadist.


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    #225
    DaeryssaOne
    Registered Users Posts: 443 ✭✭DaeryssaOne


    Never any slaps in my own house but grew up watching my aunt and uncle leathering my cousins for any slight misdemeanor.
    They weren't actual beatings but they also weren't the occasional disciplinary slap and they were often accompanied with psychological abuse particularly on my younger cousin who was a bit of a wild child (but really just an overly energetic 5 year old)

    I was always petrified I'd get a belt too seeing as all of us would be causing trouble together but they knew not to hit me.

    It was many years later when I told my mother what used to go on in their house and she was completely shocked, naively as a child I had assumed she just knew what they were like.


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    #226
    RiCriostoir
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭RiCriostoir


    Did I what? We had the "5 Fingers" which was the typical slap, or the "Wooden Spoon" Or "THE SPOON". The minute you heard that drawer open you went running.

    Did I ever think it was wrong? No never.
    Did I deserve it? Yeah
    Did it teach me not to do it again? Sure did


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    #227
    Hobosan
    Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭Hobosan


    gerrybbadd wrote: »
    Got plenty of the wooden spoon when i was young.

    My mother was also a great advocate of the one slap per word treatment.

    "don't *slap do *slap that *slap A *slap Gain *Slap (last word would be broken into two for the final delivery of two slaps!)

    Imagine what she went through in school if she's incapable of separating the teaching of syllables and corporal punishment!


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    #228
    jimbobaloobob
    Registered Users Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭jimbobaloobob


    RiCriostoir wrote: »
    Did I what? We had the "5 Fingers" which was the typical slap, or the "Wooden Spoon" Or "THE SPOON". The minute you heard that drawer open you went running.

    Did I ever think it was wrong? No never.
    Did I deserve it? Yeah
    Did it teach me not to do it again? Sure did


    Will you ever forget it?


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    #229
    RiCriostoir
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭RiCriostoir


    jimbobaloobob wrote: »
    Will you ever forget it?

    Forget what?:confused:;)


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    #230
    ZilkyG
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 71 ✭✭ZilkyG


    "getting a clattering" we called it!


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    #231
    janfebmar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,424 ✭✭✭janfebmar


    ZilkyG wrote: »
    "getting a clattering" we called it!

    I'll never forget it anyway, but it was a lot of decades ago, thankfully schools are a lot different now and teachers would not get away with hitting children nowadays.


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    #232
    Peatys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,881 ✭✭✭Peatys


    Strazdas wrote: »
    I have serious doubts it leads to any respect for the parents. A parent can be firm, decisive, assertive etc with their children without resorting to hitting them

    It's amazing the amount of people who don't know this. Quick to raise the hand to the defenceless. I don't want to know anything about them. Citing the laws that show it's not illegal yet. Ffs.


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    #233
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users Posts: 15,799 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    All it taught me was that it was ok to hit someone smaller than you.

    Really resented the slaps given out in school. Still do. Whatever about at home, getting a wallop from someone who was neither your father nor mother was clearly out of order.


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    #234
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    My da spanked me this one time when I was eight or nine. He slapped my bare arse so hard that palm readers could read his fortune by looking at the cheek. It sort of f*cked me up.

    I was at a birthday party and my mam had given me an envelope full of money to pay someone at the party, but it disappeared and I started to panic. My da put two and two together and convinced himself that I robbed the money. I remember begging him in the car home, crying to the point of breathlessness because I knew what was coming. He took me round the side of the house, pulled my little trousers down and walloped my poor arse.

    The enveleope was found on the bouncing castle some hours later. According to my mam years later he cried when he found out that I hadn't taken it.


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    #235
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    yup


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    #236
    Liamario
    Registered Users Posts: 2,094 ✭✭✭Liamario


    I did, got pinched slapped with belt and poker. I never deserved. It was always done out of anger on their part and their anger wasn't caused by me. I just happened to be the straw. Too many kids and really weren't able for the. And yes, it did do me harm on an emotion level.
    Hammer89 wrote: »
    My da spanked me this one time when I was eight or nine. He slapped my bare arse so hard that palm readers could read his fortune by looking at the cheek. It sort of f*cked me up.

    I was at a birthday party and my mam had given me an envelope full of money to pay someone at the party, but it disappeared and I started to panic. My da put two and two together and convinced himself that I robbed the money. I remember begging him in the car home, crying to the point of breathlessness because I knew what was coming. He took me round the side of the house, pulled my little trousers down and walloped my poor arse.

    The enveleope was found on the bouncing castle some hours later. According to my mam years later he cried when he found out that I hadn't taken it.

    That's **** man. At least he felt remorse for it. Sorry you went through that.


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    #237
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    We got hit as a default consequence of bad behaviour. There were sticks specifically for that purpose in our house.

    It was definitely as a result of anger and poor parenting and I don't say that with the benefit of looking back resentfully from my high horse - my mother admitted that's what it was. It was the only discipline method they knew at the time. The beatings that we got were far more lenient than what they got in their day, we had it soft compared to them. However, once they started to see different parenting techniques emerge in the late 80s' and a bit more understanding of child behaviour and development they did change their methods and came to regret ever using physical punishment, especially when they saw their grandchildren grow up well behaved and be good kids without being smacked.

    If we expect that the childminder or teacher who has our children for a large portion of their every day have enough skill in managing large groups of children yet never lift a hand to our children then we should hold ourselves to that same standard.


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    #238
    Keyzer
    Registered Users Posts: 4,331 ✭✭✭Keyzer


    Got a full force dig in the head once... I deserved it.


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    #239
    Liamario
    Registered Users Posts: 2,094 ✭✭✭Liamario


    Keyzer wrote: »
    Got a full force dig in the head once... I deserved it.

    What did you do that deserved a punch from your father.


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    #240
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Hammer89 wrote: »

    The enveleope was found on the bouncing castle some hours later. According to my mam years later he cried when he found out that I hadn't taken it.
    Did he not apologise to you at the time?


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    #241
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Neyite wrote: »

    If we expect that the childminder or teacher who has our children for a large portion of their every day have enough skill in managing large groups of children yet never lift a hand to our children then we should hold ourselves to that same standard.
    That's exactly how I feel about it. If someone wouldn't be happy for another adult to discipline their child by smacking, why is it ok for them?


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