How to toilet train twins without losing my mind?!!

brokensoul · 23-06-2019 08:42PM #1

Hi all,

Just starting toilet training with my two. My boy is kinda getting it but my girl not at all.

Wondering how long ye tried for before deciding a toddler is not ready?

Also, we are using underwear, which the are very excited about, but given the number of accidents they are having I am kinda tempted by the notion of training pants but I have heard that they confuse kids - anyone any knowledge or thought s on this?

The inability to leave the house with them is doing my head in, esp on days like today when we can't be out in the garden. Struggling big time with cabin fever.

In short, HELP!!!!!!!

jlm29 · 23-06-2019 08:44PM

How many days has it been? And what age are your kids? The first few days are a bit miserable, but if they’re genuinely not ready maybe you should forget it and go back to it in a few months? Or maybe train the more ready one now and leave the other?

scarepanda · 23-06-2019 09:24PM

How is she not getting it? Like does she have any understanding? Is she interested? Or has she a fear of something etc? What rewards are you using?

We're only 3 weeks in, so still on the learning curve myself. But we used a sticker chart for the first couple weeks, stickers on her potty (we had a problem of actually getting her to sit on it at first) and a few chocolate buttons the first couple days. We went the whole hog night and day with knickers. She hasn't had a wet bed yet, but we have a dry night mat thingy on a towel under her sheet just incase. She's sorted for both night and day with wees, but has had a fear of poos since the middle of the first week. We decided last Thursday to bring things back to basics, so we've had a pull up on her for a couple of hours when we know she absolutely needs to go poo in the hope she might relax a bit if she has the comfort of a nappy, she's in a knickers otherwise. The last thing I want to happen is for her to get constipated. Anyways it's seems to be working (fingers crossed) as today was the first day we managed to get her to sit long enough to do her business in the potty.

I would say if the whole process is leading to arguements and stressing her out leave it a couple of weeks and try again. If her brother picks it up she might want to be the same as him in no time anyways.

One thing that we have done, is rather than bringing her to the potty regularly, we've kind of given her the responsibility of telling us herself when she needs to go. So we'll remind her to tell us when she needs to go rather than asking if that makes sense. She's fiercely independent and has a mind of her own, so forcing her to the potty at regular intervals, or keeping her in the bathroom till she went definitely wouldn't work for us here.

brokensoul · 23-06-2019 09:29PM

jlm29 wrote: »

How many days has it been? And what age are your kids? The first few days are a bit miserable, but if they’re genuinely not ready maybe you should forget it and go back to it in a few months? Or maybe train the more ready one now and leave the other?

3 days in and they are nearly 3.

She doesn't want to use the potty, she doesn't like it when she wets herself but doesn't seem to dislike it enough to make an effort for the potty. I think she understands, but doesn't want to do it!

We are using stickers and small toys as rewards.

scarepanda · 23-06-2019 09:43PM

Sounds like my girl with her poos!

We had toys for the first few days, and even let her pick them out the evening before we started so they were toys she wanted and plays with. But tbh she had no interest in them as a reward, the chocolate was a far bigger reward, possibly because she got a few pieces as part of the whole process so it was instant gratification.

If it's just been 3 days, Id give her anther few days tbh. Some tips I came across online when I was trying to figure out our poo situation was to bring it completely back to basics like put on a nappy and get her used to sitting on the potty and build her up to no nappy etc. Also, could she be afraid of the sound or any splashs? Have you tried her on a toilet? My girl gets notions that the potty is too small!

jlm29 · 23-06-2019 09:59PM

Three days is still very early, it’s worth giving it another few days.
I know with my eldest, when he was a bit slow to get it, I used to plonk him on the toilet every half an hour for a day or two, and it suddenly clicked.

I left my middle guy until a couple of months after he turned three, I just didn’t think he was ready, he showed absolutely no interest before that.

Neither of them had much interest in the potty; we went for the toilet very quickly.

brokensoul · 23-06-2019 10:04PM

Thanks lads! It is great to hear how others have coped.

My two are off to playschool in Sept and have to be trained for then- which is freaking me out!! :eek::eek:

2 months is a long time I guess...

Dakota Dan · 23-06-2019 10:07PM

I’m a twin, boy and a girl, couldn’t tell you how we were toilet trained though. Surely training twins is no different to training singles?

jlm29 · 23-06-2019 10:13PM

brokensoul wrote: »

Thanks lads! It is great to hear how others have coped.

My two are off to playschool in Sept and have to be trained for then- which is freaking me out!! :eek::eek:

2 months is a long time I guess...

Playschool! It puts such pressure on a lot of people for toilet training! We didn’t avail of the first year, he wasn’t ready to be trained and he wasn’t really ready for playschool either!

scarepanda · 23-06-2019 10:16PM

brokensoul wrote:

My two are off to playschool in Sept and have to be trained for then- which is freaking me out!!

We're in the same boat. My biggest worry is getting herself cleaned up after poos.... Just can't imagine it, or get my head around it more so.

brokensoul · 23-06-2019 10:17PM

Dakota Dan wrote: »

I’m a twin, boy and a girl, couldn’t tell you how we were toilet trained though. Surely training twins is no different to training singles?

Except there is twice the amount of wee and poo!

More importantly though, it is hard for one if the other is getting it and they are not.

Irishphotodesk · 23-06-2019 10:18PM

OP, there is a potty training guide for twins on the IMBA Facebook page, I assume you are a member of IMBA (Irish multiple birth association)

We got lucky and trained ours daytime and night training around the same time, they are a little over 3 now and trained for over a year, it’s best to wait for a few days of good weather, no underwear, ply them with water/juice and some salty snacks to encourage drinking..... hover over them and have a potty handy, lift them and put them on the potty as soon as they look like they need to go wee, massive praise, clapping and cheering no matter how little the amount of wee in the potty.

My wife had our two out in the back garden ... we were very lucky that they got it quickly enough, they say that night time training is hormonal, we have puppy pads under the bedsheets, but we have only had 2 accidents.

brokensoul · 23-06-2019 10:19PM

scarepanda wrote: »

We're in the same boat. My biggest worry is getting herself cleaned up after poos.... Just can't imagine it, or get my head around it more so.

I can't either! My two are as regular as clockwork with poos, always in the evening. I am hoping this means it won't be too regular an issue in playschool.

Anne_cordelia · 24-06-2019 06:47AM

Most kids won’t poo in playschool if they can help it but the teachers in ours help them get cleaned. No 3 year old can be expected to clean their bums properly.

I would say treat the twins as individuals and if one gets it, great. If the other doesn’t then stop with her and try again later. They don’t need to train at the one time. I’d be different to everyone else and say after 3 days I’d leave it if they aren’t getting it as I don’t think they are ready. My kids each trained in a day as they were ready when I started. It’s really important not to force it (even for playschool) as it can lead to issues with holding and constipation later on.

shesty · 24-06-2019 07:45AM

I hate hate hate potty training.

However I have somehow trained two girls, one who took forever to get the pooing thing - I mean months....and one who got the whole concept in about two days with practically no accidents since.Not twins I admit, but still i can tell you what I've observed and you can decide if it's useful!!!!!

The older the better.You've covered that, since they are almost three :-)

Three days is practically nothing (sorry).There are programmes out there for fully training in 3-5 days.Didn't follow them myself but what I will say is that I mentally think that 3-5 days is what it takes just to get the concept of sitting and weeing in the potty.Literally, mentally I give them that amount of time to get them into the idea of sitting and going on the potty just one time.Mine took 2.5 days (she was 2 & 4 months) before we achieved one wee on the potty and 1.5 days (she was 2 and 8 months) for the second girl.View it as a process that will take a few months vs a few days (sorry again).

I decided to concentrate on the wees first.During the day only.Fully expected poos to take longer and didn't stress about it, and didn't bother with nightime at all at first.See how it goes. Small steps.

Pick your choice of reward.I thought sticker charts first time -she just didn't get them at all, meant nothing.After months of it, we resorted to a sweet each time, definitely helped.First time round on the second I went straight for the bad stuff and gave her a jelly each time she went.Turned out she probably would have managed just fine without the jellies but live and learn (I knew I was being had when, on the third day, she told me "you go get my jelly mammy and I will go do my wee"!!!)

Books about the potty definitely help, do you have any??We have a few.Be prepared for numerous readings of them.....

It definitely helps some kids to let them tell you when they need to go.You kind of have to feel your way on it.My first I plonked her on the potty every 20mims, which was fine but after a few months I think it kind of backfired on me.So I started reminding her to go, or tell me when she needed to go every half hour or so.Tried to let her own the process a bit more -it is her own body after all.My second I just kept telling her to let me know when she needed to go, and it seemed to work much better .But it does kind of depend on the child a bit.

My second big goal was to get them to use a public toilet when we went out, once they got the hang of things.I was not carrying potties around, so I felt if I could get them to go just once on a toilet in a shopping centre or something, that would make life way easier when out.That is a bit down the road a bit for you still though..

If she doesn't get it right now, just step back.Sometimes the more uptight you get about things, the more they dig their heels in.I'd let her out in the garden tbh, better she has an accident in the garden than in the middle of your house surely??I do feel for you, it's a rough few days.

scarepanda · 24-06-2019 08:34AM

brokensoul wrote:

I can't either! My two are as regular as clockwork with poos, always in the evening. I am hoping this means it won't be too regular an issue in playschool.

I'm in the same boat as you on both fronts!

My girl doesn't (yet) seem to have any issue with public toilets, or at least toilets that are not at home. She's only a tiny little yolk, so we got her an adapter toilet seat top thingy off Amazon, it's a flat yolk that just folds out. She seems to love it, rather than having to hold her to make sure she doesn't fall through. I have a new born here that I usually have in a carrier, so holding isn't always practical. The adapter is very handy to pop into the nappy bag rather than having to worry about a potty, although it is thrown into the car just incase there's an emergency on the road.

fits · 25-06-2019 09:31AM

Oh I havent even begun to think about this yet with my twins. One of them will be trained before the other anyway. They are eligible for ECCE in September at 2 years and 8 months which is nuts. Just because they were born early. Im not sending them this year. Its too soon.

Blaizes · 25-06-2019 09:58AM

It must be difficult with twins. I’d say try the girl on the toilet if she’s not taking to the potty, mine was like this, didn’t like the potty at all. My boy was also much easier to train he had it in no time. With the girl I used rewards at the end of the week small toys, sweets, bubbles etc. I called it a surprise bag, and you know what it worked. Months later when she was well trained she suddenly asked me why she didn’t get the surprise bag anymore, oh no I thought she’s going to start going backwards just to get the treats but no she was fine. I’d also put her on toilet /potty every half hour or hour get her used to the toilet routine. It’s not easy and I was pulling my hair out at times but honestly it will come right and you’ll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about- hard to see that now though!

jlm29 · 25-06-2019 10:02AM

fits wrote: »

Oh I havent even begun to think about this yet with my twins. One of them will be trained before the other anyway. They are eligible for ECCE in September at 2 years and 8 months which is nuts. Just because they were born early. Im not sending them this year. Its too soon.

The younger age is so crazy! I spoke to one crèche owner who told me that playschools aren’t supposed to be refusing to take kids who aren’t trained since they lowered the starting age to 2 yrs 8mo, but a lot of them still are, citing lack of changing facilities as the reason, if they’re smaller, stand alone pre schools rather than preschools contained in crèches

Caybar · 25-06-2019 10:05AM

Maybe try find some motivation for them?
For our twins (two boys), they finally got motivated when they were told they couldn't go to the larger swimming pool until they stopped wearing nappies.

fits · 25-06-2019 10:05AM

I enquired about an overage exemption for them as they were due to be born in January which would have our ECCE start as next September. One of my boys would be eligible for the exemption as he has special needs, but not the other. I think I will send him to a special pre-school in september for two days a week (since place has been offered) and keep the other boy until next september.

So complicated.

Toots · 25-06-2019 10:06AM

My cousin is a nursery nurse and she gave me the tip of putting pull ups on over their underwear for training. They'll still feel the wetness if they have an accident, but also clothes/furniture/bedding etc don't get destroyed, so it's a bit easier on Mum and Dad. I did it with my son and it worked well.

Mad_maxx · 27-06-2019 02:33PM

Our boy will be three in August, we started toilet training him four months ago and he's still not there yet, dribbles all over his pants when he finishes

brokensoul · 28-06-2019 11:10PM

A week in and we are doing well!

No accidents at all for the last 2 days from either of them. We are still assisting them a lot, reminding them to sit on the potty and helping them pull up and down pants but it seems to be going fine.

I found the first few days really really challenging but on day 4 it seemed to just kick in.

I am wondering now though, how do people manage going out and about with newly toilet trained kids? Do ye bring potty with you? Or rely on public toilets. I am worried that they don't generally have a lot of time between announcing they need to wee and then actually weeing! I live in the city centre and am used to packing them in the buggy and heading off to the shops/park etc for a few hours. Is this feasible at all with toilet training?

shesty · 29-06-2019 07:12AM

I aimed to use the public toilet.Didn't want to be dealing with potties because let's face it, you have to empty the potty, and I can't imagine trying to do that in the middle of the city centre.Didn't go too far the first few times.Once they use it once, you are sorted in general.Make sure they go before you go out and then you can pay a communal visit to a public loo after an hour to give them a chance to go.Running water always makes them realise they want to go too....;-)
I wouldn't worry too much about accidents.It's a long process.Just bring plenty of spare clothes and a few nappy bags to throw wet stuff in.

scarepanda · 29-06-2019 08:37AM

Our potty only made it to the car the first couple of journeys for any roadside emergencies, it hasn't come since, although I will throw it in for any long journeys. I have the adapter thingy for toilets and have mainly just kept close to areas I know where the toilets are.

One thing I have noticed is that madam loves going into new toilets and will ask to go toilet just after going so she can go back into the toilet. It's happened when we have been out and about and also visiting friends. It's a pain!

jlm29 · 29-06-2019 08:41AM

scarepanda wrote: »

Our potty only made it to the car the first couple of journeys for any roadside emergencies, it hasn't come since, although I will throw it in for any long journeys. I have the adapter thingy for toilets and have mainly just kept close to areas I know where the toilets are.

One thing I have noticed is that madam loves going into new toilets and will ask to go toilet just after going so she can go back into the toilet. It's happened when we have been out and about and also visiting friends. It's a pain!

My seven year old still likes to survey the facilities whenever we go somewhere new!

Digs · 29-06-2019 09:46AM

scarepanda wrote: »

Our potty only made it to the car the first couple of journeys for any roadside emergencies, it hasn't come since, although I will throw it in for any long journeys. I have the adapter thingy for toilets and have mainly just kept close to areas I know where the toilets are.

One thing I have noticed is that madam loves going into new toilets and will ask to go toilet just after going so she can go back into the toilet. It's happened when we have been out and about and also visiting friends. It's a pain!

I think this is a common phenomenon! Well only have set foot in a cafe/restaurant/friends house etc and the older two announce they need the loo. Well wise they only want to go for a snoop but have to go anyway!

shesty · 29-06-2019 04:27PM

So funny, same here!!

brokensoul · 29-06-2019 10:51PM

jlm29 wrote: »

My seven year old still likes to survey the facilities whenever we go somewhere new!

To be fair, I kinda like to check out the toilets in other people's houses too :eek::D

corks finest · 29-06-2019 10:54PM

Give one of them away

How to toilet train twins without losing my mind?!!

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