What's the etiquette here??

Boom_Bap wrote: »

The risk of forcing one out always comes with the threat of the never ending wipe and the squatter may not fully leave the lodge.
Not one to risk with a long drive ahead.

Utter Consternation wrote: »

You don't want to blow the head gasket trying to hard either. Many the unfortunate individual has passed away whilst unloading their guts.

Former Observer wrote: »

Oh the topic of unending wipes:

I've noticed that those tissue dispenser yokes seriously exacerbate the eternal reoccurrence of dehydrated fruit juice or other fecal matter on the outermost surface of my man-prune.

To be clear, I'm talking about those cuboid devices which present the user with a small anus shaped orifice from which to pull single sheets of tissue.

Naturally, we must go at this little hole again and again to come away with enough small slips of tissue paper to provide even transport along the anal corridor.

BUT, and here is the key part, unlike with regular bog roll from which we can create streamlined cushions to wipe across the angus passage and prune opening, these small slips, regardless of how many we utilize, take unsatisfactory form, often approximating the shape of our own index finger. This finger shaped piece of tissue catches on the lip of the man prune, tickling the poop chute and releasing further debris in an unending cycle.

I would like to table the proposition that these single tissue dispensers are not fit for purpose for two reasons: 1) On ecological grounds they are surely a step back, as the user is inclined to use more tissue, and not less, than with a regular roll, as he struggles to imitate the feeling of natural abundance created by two turns of regular roll. 2) On the issue of posterior hygiene it also falls down, disturbing the balloon knot and inner lining of the chute with unwanted penetration so as to withdraw and loosen further debris.

tgdaly wrote: »

Must be a fair few bags of excrement lining the road to Donegal at this stage

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Iand then a noise that sounded like a box of old boots being thrown out of an attic.

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I was as rough as a bear's arse yesterday morning, so had 8 sausages, 3 rashers, half a ring of black pudding, half a ring of white, and two fried eggs. Bout half a cake of brown bread as well. And 2 pints of tea. Left Donegal about 2, and stopped off in some kip of a town in Mayo where I had a chicken fillet roll and a bag of crisps. Wasn't going to touch a drop last night, but there's something about Galway that gives me a serious goo for porter, so I picked up 12 cans of stout with the intention of tipping away at one or two of them while watching the TV. I also picked up 2 bags of these:



Anyways, I was watching the Pool playing Newcastle, and was as nervous as a Corkman at an elocution competition. Started firing into the cans like I was dying of the thirst. Started feeling a bit 'woozy' after 6 of them, so opened up the bag of jalapeno snacks. Snack of the gods, lads, and I'd consider myself a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to savory snacks. They get the full 8" of approval from Johnny. Liverpool won, the second bag was open and finished, and I polished off the next 6 cans like I was never going to get to try Uncle Arthur's Magic Medicine ever again. Went to bed in tremendous form.

Regretting it majorly today though. Turns out consuming half a pig, 12 cans of porter, and, most importantly, two bags of Snyder's Jalapeno Pretzels isn't good for the digestive system. I've been to the old 'Josh Ritter' 6 times today already, and me 'prison purse' is raw and angry as a result. Turns out Savalon isn't a good balm when it comes to trying to soothe the old '18 spoker' either. Not looking for medical advice, obviously, but any advice for an effective topical medication for a case of 'ring sting' that would have the Pope himself pleading to Satan for relief??