Girlfriend making huge efforts with my sister and only being rejected

AnonUser · 10-02-2019 09:33PM #1

Post deleted

meeeeh · 10-02-2019 09:46PM

Give your sister a break maybe? I get on well with my brother's wife, I get on well with my husband's sister but it would drive me crazy if they behaved like you two do. Ease of on presents, dinners and drama and you will get on just fine. They don't need to be best friends. Your sister could be a bit obnoxious but your carry on would be tiring for even the nicest person. Why would she want to go on dinner with all your girlfriend's family? Who would unless it's part of some sort family celebration like wedding, christening or similar.

Old Perry · 10-02-2019 09:50PM

AnonUser wrote: »

Hi,

For example we have tried to organize lunches out to try work on my sister.

Thanks, Anon

This is a drama. You either need a part in fair city or to just get over it. From your perspective it sounds like your sister is intimidated and you and your gf are overly attentive to every aspect of their relationship, or lack there of.
Honestly, let it go for now and if it happens naturally then all well and good, if not, surely there are bigger things to worry about.

wirelessdude01 · 10-02-2019 09:51PM

Sounds like you are reading too much into things. Some people just don't click. Your sister doesn't have to be anything to your girlfriend.

Big Bag of Chips · 10-02-2019 09:57PM

You and your gf are going out with each other. Your families do not have to be intertwined. I have never bought a present for my husbands sisters' birthdays (and we're together almost 20 years). They've never bought presents for me either. Why is it important that your gf makes a good impression on your sister? Does your sister have some control over who you see and how often you see them? It would be nice if your sister and your got along, but I think you (pl) are almost being annoying in your efforts to force a relationship.

Just get on with being in a relationship with your gf. Your sister doesn't have to be part of that. I think if you and your gf stop trying so hard with your sister she will come around in her own time.

woodchuck · 10-02-2019 10:26PM

OP I'm really not seeing that your sister has done anything wrong here. Some of your examples don't even make sense:

She even went behind my back one day to my dad when I drove alone (I am on a learner permit) and told my dad the car should be taken off me because I act like a child and should be treated like a child. My girlfriend was understandably very displeased at this comment as it showed that my sister is willing to run me down at every opportunity and she is getting the brunt of it.

Your girlfriend wasn't even involved in the example above and yet somehow you've managed to twist it into an example of how your girlfriend is hard done-by by your sister.

I'm not sure who is the one making mountains out of a molehills here though; is it you or your girlfriend? If it's your girlfriend, I'd be very worried about the fact that she's trying to drive a wedge between you and your family. If it's you, life is too short to be creating all this drama.

Ursus Horribilis · 10-02-2019 10:27PM

What age are you all? As I read through this, I started to get a headache. While I don't condone your sister's behaviour, I also feel sorry for her. When I read these posts, I try to see things from all sides. Looking at this from her perspective, I started to feel stifled. As the others have already asked, why does everybody on both sides have to be so intertwined? And perhaps for the health of your own relationship, maybe everybody shouldn't be all living in each other's pockets.

Sometimes people just don't click and that might just be the case with your sister and your girlfriend. The way you and your girlfriend have been carrying on is simply making the situation worse. If someone did that to me, I'd be absolutely raging. So for god's sake, stop giving your sister these presents. They're downright patronising and I'm sure she thinks they're crappy. If you'd stopped trying to force the issue at the start, you'd not be in the pickle you're in now. It's as plain as the nose on your face that at the start, your sister was trying to politely tell you to stop. But no, you kept on going bullheaded at this and went from presents to organising lunches. Who in their right mind would want to be forced to spend a lunch with someone they're not mad about and their mammy? Admittedly your sister could have been nicer at that lunch but look at the bigger picture here.

In short, stop trying to force this and lay off the crappy presents and contrived situations. Your sister is not a fool and she can see through all these ploys. Hopefully, in time your sister and your girlfriend will find a way to get on better. They'll probably never be friends but that's not a pre-requisite in any family.

wirelessdude01 · 10-02-2019 10:30PM

OP, hope you take on board what you are reading and not taking the sulk because it isn't what you had hoped for.

dartboardio · 10-02-2019 10:32PM

Who cares if theyre not bestfriends.

My partner may aswell be part of the furniture with my family but i am the opposite to his.. It is still all very formal even though were together years.

Some people just dont click.. Whether or not your sister is being ignorant. Stop trying to force them to have this great relationship.

Stop letting this worry you and thus creating problems in your own relationship.. Ie the one that actually matters!

Hell.. I get on better with my boyfriends second cousin rather than his sister. And thats no big deal. I dont dislike her whatsoever but we dont need to be besties or force this great loving relationship just because her brother is my partner. She has her own life as do i, or we.

Ursus Horribilis · 10-02-2019 10:38PM

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

OP, hope you take on board what you are reading and not taking the sulk because it isn't what you had hoped for.

You must be Nostradamus in disguise. He has just nuked his original post

Girlfriend making huge efforts with my sister and only being rejected

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