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does age difference in relationships matter?

  • 07-01-2019 01:55PM
    #1
    brenersar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13 ✭


    28 y.o girl and 42 o.y man. What the girl should know about big gap marriages before the big step?


Comments

  • #2
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    I assume you're with her a while already?


  • #3
    feargale
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,636 ✭✭✭feargale


    brenersar wrote: »
    28 y.o girl and 42 o.y man. What the girl should know about big gap marriages before the big step?

    Many a fine tune was played on an old fiddle.


  • #4
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    brenersar wrote: »
    28 y.o girl and 42 o.y man. What the girl should know about big gap marriages before the big step?

    Are you the younger or the older partner? It's not clear from your post.

    Gaps matter less as you get older. A 14 year gap is a big one for a 28 year old, imho.


  • #5
    Pawwed Rig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,448 ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    It does make a difference as you are at different stages in life. The differences are not insurmountable though.

    Kids or not will be the main conversation to be had.


  • #6
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,346 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    My parents had a slightly bigger gap. Main thing is that both are on the same page when it comes to stage in life i.e. both want the same thing in the next 5 years etc. After that it is recognising that you may not have as long together as couples who are closer in age but not to dwell on that.


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  • #7
    Bunny Colvin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,048 ✭✭✭Bunny Colvin


    Half your age = 21
    + 7 = 28

    You're good.


  • #8
    brenersar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13 ✭brenersar


    The girl asked me the same question. I'm personally not so optimistic. But I might be wrong.

    They also come from different cultures, he is UK-born indian living with his family. That I find quite unusual in age of 42. She is young professional and independent. They have started talking about the future together and many things that weren't existing during few years of dating are coming to the focus.


  • #9
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    brenersar wrote: »
    The girl asked me the same question. I'm personally not so optimistic. But I might be wrong.

    They also come from different cultures, he is UK-born indian living with his family. That I find quite unusual in age of 42. She is young professional and independent. They have started talking about the future together and many things that weren't existing during few years of dating are coming to the focus.

    OP - how is this a personal issue for you? I don't want to sound harsh, but Personal Issues is a forum to help individuals, not for gather anecdotes.


  • #10
    dar100
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dar100


    dudara wrote: »
    OP - how is this a personal issue for you? I don't want to sound harsh, but Personal Issues is a forum to help individuals, not for gather anecdotes.

    Leave it be, its intetesting


  • #11
    Rosepetals85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 82 ✭✭Rosepetals85


    I find it creepy. I know when I was 28 any man that age I would run a mile also wouldn’t have the same things in common. Maybe I’m wrong but dirty old man reminds me off.


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  • #12
    skallywag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,035 ✭✭✭skallywag


    OP, first off, i advise you to ignore any dirty-old-man nonsense, it's not as if he's some lad on the street trying to sneak a peak into her bedroom, etc.

    If she is quite mature, then I would really not be overly concerned about that particular age gap. Yes, you do run the chance of being put into the 'creep' bracket by some, but I would not let it put me off.

    On the other hand if you had said, say, 22 and 36, then I would be very wary. People change a lot from early to late 20s, and what a person wants and thinks at 22 is usually vastly different from being 28. At 28 though many will have reached 'steady-state' so to speak.


  • #13
    LuckyLloyd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36,587 ✭✭✭✭LuckyLloyd


    Rosepetals85 wrote: »
    I find it creepy. I know when I was 28 any man that age I would run a mile also wouldn’t have the same things in common. Maybe I’m wrong but dirty old man reminds me off.

    You're certainly entitled to your preference and it may be shared by many, but equally there are plenty of 28 year olds out there (of both genders) that would be open to relationships with people around the 40 mark. It's all preference between consenting adults at that stage.


  • #14
    lulu1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    I dont see the problem the girl is 28 she is old enough to know what she wants


  • #15
    lulu1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭lulu1


    Rosepetals85 wrote: »
    I find it creepy. I know when I was 28 any man that age I would run a mile also wouldn’t have the same things in common. Maybe I’m wrong but dirty old man reminds me off.

    Any one in their 40ies are only spring chickens. Dirty old man talk is rubbish


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