Toddler suddenly terrified of bath

Digs · 22-09-2018 05:37PM #1

As the title suggests! My daughter was 2 at the end of June. Total water baby up until about two weeks ago. When the bath is mentioned now she runs away and screams and cries and says “No bath Mammy”. Nothing has changed in her routine, we bath her and her older sister every Wednesday and Saturday and she always loved it. Now when she gets in she goes so rigid I couldn’t get her to sit down if I tried, she shakes with terror and screams and begs me to take her out. I’m pregnant so my emotions are delicate enough but I’m in tears I feel so bad for her.

Please someone tell me it’s a phase that passes?? It didn’t happen with my older daughter. I can’t not wash her though

bee06 · 22-09-2018 05:43PM

Would she go in the shower instead?

Digs · 22-09-2018 05:51PM

bee06 wrote: »

Would she go in the shower instead?

That had crossed our minds but our shower is one of those that’s in the bath so as soon as she goes near it she freaks. I will try her on Wednesday properly with it!

catrionanic · 22-09-2018 06:39PM

Could you stick her in the kitchen sink for a mini, less scary bath? My wee man is a bit younger but we still use the sink (we don't have a bath). Tight squeeze but doable.

22-09-2018 06:41PM

TBH, I'd want to know what turned her off.

iamwhoiam · 22-09-2018 06:42PM

Could it have been too hot at some stage ? Could you try putting her baby bath in the bath and try to reassure her back in slowely ? She might have got a fright at some stage

Digs · 22-09-2018 06:47PM

I’ll try the sink thanks Catrionac, at least then I could figure out if it’s the bath itself or the water!

Lorenzo - that’s what we’re trying to figure out. She’s 2, she can’t tell us.

Iamwhoiam- I’m wondering about heat! Generally though the older girl who’s 5 would let us know if you get me.

She has had a pretty bad case of constipation recently which we’re trying to sort with medication etc she hates getting her nappy changed as a result so I’m wondering if it’s having the bath water on her bum?!! She has zero bother watching her sister in the bath or giving her doll a bath herself.

iamwhoiam · 22-09-2018 06:50PM

Digs wrote: »

I’ll try the sink thanks Catrionac, at least then I could figure out if it’s the bath itself or the water!

Lorenzo - that’s what we’re trying to figure out. She’s 2, she can’t tell us.

Iamwhoiam- I’m wondering about heat! Generally though the older girl who’s 5 would let us know if you get me.

She has had a pretty bad case of constipation recently which we’re trying to sort with medication etc she hates getting her nappy changed as a result so I’m wondering if it’s having the bath water on her bum?!! She has zero bother watching her sister in the bath or giving her doll a bath herself.

Just put a dribble of water in and promise her she doesn't have to sit down . Tell her she only has to wash her feet for now ! slowly slowly then another inch etc . Poor baba sounds like she is frightened

mirrorwall14 · 22-09-2018 06:52PM

Can one of you hop in with her? Do full on swimsuits and make it like a visit to the beach etc?

AvonEnniskerry · 22-09-2018 06:54PM

At 2 they are big enough to reason with. So I'd sit her down and explain why baths and washing are important. In as simple a way as possible. If she's got a sore bum stick a bit of bread soda or porridge in the bath. Invest in a few colourful bath bombs from lush. They can be perfect for young skin also while creating a fun environment. Maybe some new bath toys and she'll be back in in no time. Best of luck op.

ainy · 22-09-2018 06:56PM

We went through this with our daughter from about 2 and half until she was over 3. She wasn't toilet trained but I actually think looking back that it all started when she started to know the feeling of wee and poo and she was frightened of doing them in the bath. (We didn't realise at the time and so had lots and lots of battles over bath time).

As soon as she was toilet trained bath time was back to normal. Maybe it was just coincidence, I'm not sure.

Digs · 22-09-2018 06:58PM

It’s totally rotten watching her, I feel so sorry for her. The constipation caused a little haemorrhoid over a week ago which now thankfully has disappeared but now I’m writing it out it makes total sense that she wouldn’t want anything near her bum. Hence the upset when getting her nappy changed. I’ll try the patient step by step toe in approach and see how we go.

Mirrorwall I would happily get in with her if it settles her, I’ll add that to the list! She does have her sister in with her but maybe she’d rather me or her Dad. She was absolutely clinging to him tonight when he tried putting her in and we were trying to tell her she’d be ok etc but she wasn’t having a bar of it.

catrionanic · 22-09-2018 06:59PM

If she's very constipated, could it be sitting on the hard surface of the bath putting painful pressure on her?

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:03PM

Avon - I do try to explain it to her gently but she’s beyond upset about it so I can’t really reason with her. The toys are probably a very good idea though so will definitley try some thank you!

Ainy - I’m kind of relieved to hear we’re not alone and glad to hear it past for you! I’m beginning to get convinced it’s connected to wee and poo etc she’s so clued in with the toilet and what happens which is probably down to watching her sister but the constipation has brought a whole set of problems with that.

mirrorwall14 · 22-09-2018 07:03PM

Digs wrote: »

It’s totally rotten watching her, I feel so sorry for her. The constipation caused a little haemorrhoid over a week ago which now thankfully has disappeared but now I’m writing it out it makes total sense that she wouldn’t want anything near her bum. Hence the upset when getting her nappy changed. I’ll try the patient step by step toe in approach and see how we go.

Mirrorwall I would happily get in with her if it settles her, I’ll add that to the list! She does have her sister in with her but maybe she’d rather me or her Dad. She was absolutely clinging to him tonight when he tried putting her in and we were trying to tell her she’d be ok etc but she wasn’t having a bar of it.

We had him sit on my legs for a while and wash his toes. Eventually he got brave enough to go back in but at least it was easier to wash him with a face cloth when he was over the bath! Oddly enough showers turned out to be no issue. We hadn’t copped but he just associated them with the swimming pool and was happy enough albeit that he would soak the bathroom!

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:05PM

catrionanic wrote: »

If she's very constipated, could it be sitting on the hard surface of the bath putting painful pressure on her?

I think it must be!! Although at the moment she’s not constipated but had a very very bad episode about two weeks ago. She didn’t go for 7 days and then had a few very very sore massive poos which hurt her so it must be connected. The night it started she got in the bath no problem and after a very short while had to be taken out she got so upset

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:08PM

mirrorwall14 wrote: »

We had him sit on my legs for a while and wash his toes. Eventually he got brave enough to go back in but at least it was easier to wash him with a face cloth when he was over the bath! Oddly enough showers turned out to be no issue. We hadn’t copped but he just associated them with the swimming pool and was happy enough albeit that he would soak the bathroom!

Ah interesting!! Did it just come out of the blue for your son? It’s like a switch went off in her but if her bum is sore I suppose it makes sense.
I’ll see how she goes with the shower. I’ll try brig her in with me in the morning, the logistics of which with a bump will be interesting

iamwhoiam · 22-09-2018 07:08PM

Could you buy a soft piece of foam and let her sit on it in the bath ? Like a soft sponge type thingy ? Or even a big soft teddy to sit on?
And slather her bum with Vaseline before she gets in too

ainy · 22-09-2018 07:11PM

Digs wrote:

Ainy - Iâ€™m kind of relieved to hear weâ€™re not alone and glad to hear it past for you! Iâ€™m beginning to get convinced itâ€™s connected to wee and poo etc sheâ€™s so clued in with the toilet and what happens which is probably down to watching her sister but the constipation has brought a whole set of problems with that.

Our girl was constipated too and would get sore bum from it aswell, there wasn't anything we did that helped bath time, she couldnt explain why she didnt like it anymore or what was upsetting her. It had to be done though but it was so distressing for all of us (I was also pregnant at the time!). it was only when she worked through the toilet training that it got better. She was only trained after she was 3.

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:12PM

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Could you buy a soft piece of foam and let her sit on it in the bath ? Like a soft sponge type thingy ?

I could try an old cushion or something? I fear it’s getting her to trust it’s ok that might be the issue. She locks her legs completely and just will not sit down. I’ll try anything though!

iamwhoiam · 22-09-2018 07:13PM

Digs wrote: »

I could try an old cushion or something? I fear it’s getting her to trust it’s ok that might be the issue. She locks her legs completely and just will not sit down. I’ll try anything though!

Let her buy a big sloppy soft teddy maybe ?

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:16PM

ainy wrote: »

Our girl was constipated too and would get sore bum from it aswell, there wasn't anything we did that helped bath time, she couldnt explain why she didnt like it anymore or what was upsetting her. It had to be done though but it was so distressing for all of us (I was also pregnant at the time!). it was only when she worked through the toilet training that it got better. She was only trained after she was 3.

Ok that totally makes sense. It must be connected the poor chick. So distressing, she’s pleading with us as best as she can communicate to take her out. Her sister was trained at 2yr 4 mths with ease and while I actually think she is more clued in then her sister was at this stage re poo/wee and toilet etc I feel like she is a million miles away from training because of the constipation so we’re totally going to leave her be until we can get her medication and routine sorted etc.
Thanks so much Ainy. Sometimes it’s best to just know there’s no fix and it just has to work itself out!

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:17PM

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Let her buy a big sloppy soft teddy maybe ?

We were encouraging her to take her ted in with her tonight and no dice!! Ted went in but she refused.

namenotavailablE · 22-09-2018 07:18PM

Possibly also worth checking if there's a rash/ raw patch/ blistered patch on her bottom which is being aggravated by contact with water. If yes, a few days of Sudocrem or equivalent might be the trick to remove the pain!

mirrorwall14 · 22-09-2018 07:18PM

Digs wrote: »

Ah interesting!! Did it just come out of the blue for your son? It’s like a switch went off in her but if her bum is sore I suppose it makes sense.
I’ll see how she goes with the shower. I’ll try brig her in with me in the morning, the logistics of which with a bump will be interesting

I can’t remember to be honest, I just know he went from being happy in the bath to being unhappy!

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:23PM

namenotavailabl wrote: »

Possibly also worth checking if there's a rash/ raw patch/ blistered patch on her bottom which is being aggravated by contact with water. If yes, a few days of Sudocrem or equivalent might be the trick to remove the pain!

This is concerning me actually. I tried to get a look at her bum afterwards and it’s a bit red, she’s not too happy being inspected though. I had to use microlax ennemas last week so I think she’s afraid. I’m bringing her back to the GP Monday re the constipation so will ask her to check there isn’t a fissure there or something after her having such a hard time of it.

She was referred to Crumlin re the constipation (which is more or less going on since birth!) and they’ve refused to see her stating its “normal” and advising on certain meds which the GP had tried. So frustrating for us, not to mention her, poor kiddo.

coffeyt · 22-09-2018 07:28PM

Also went through this with my son at a slightly younger age, for no apparent reason he became terrified and would cling to me when he saw the bath.
I did the whole sitting in the bath with him on my chest for a while and he would stand in the water but like that his legs would go rigid if any hint of me trying to get him to sit.
I just let him stand and play with his bath toys and washed him with sponge and after a few weeks he slowly starting coming round to kneeling and eventually sitting back down. I also got a few squirt toys and would let him squirt me and I'd squirt him and just have fun so that he eventually just seemed to forget about whatever had caused the problem initially.
I would say maybe if she is happy to stand in it then just sponge her down and let her play away and let her build her confidence back so she can overcome whatever is frightening her.

iamwhoiam · 22-09-2018 07:29PM

Have you ever tried her on a lactose free diet ? Kids with a lactose intolerance are often prone to constipation ?

shesty · 22-09-2018 07:39PM

How is she with fruit Digs? Can you load her up with every fruit you can find during the day, to be sure? Also stewed rhubarb and apple, with brown sugar work an absolute treat. We have one here who is not a water drinker - has never been a water drinker - getting liquid into her during the day is a nightmare, so we tend to hand out lots of raspberries, grapes, oranges that kind of thing too.Thankfully she loves fruit - would live on it given the chance....
She may have a little cut or something that the water is stinging. I have no suggestions, other than maybe getting in with her though. We did have awful issues around the bath for a few weeks with no.1, closer to 3, but I think that was more of a thing where she was trying to assert some independence. Bit of a nightmare.

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:39PM

Coffeyt- I think that approach is best for now thanks. She’s certainly not happy to just stand in it at the moment and we’ve had to wash her under duress but if I get in with her maybe it will gradually encourage her to even try sitting.

Iamwhoiam- funny you mention lactose. The pharmacist said the same to me last week. She had the same issues with her son and once she took him off dairy he was fine. She still gets one bottle at bedtime so I’ve bought lactose free milk and she’s had that the last two nights. My eldest was dairy free up until this summer, it actually had the opposite effect on her and it ran though her

as a result neither girl has had yoghurts, cheese etc as I haven’t had them in the house because of the older girl. We’ve been reintroducing dairy to the older girl using the pyramid etc and she finally seems to be tolerating it. So I’m not too sure if it is dairy with the youngest lady but I’ll try the milk switch etc I really appreciate all the suggestions, thanks so much! I’ve found this whole thing so upsetting. She is so so good humoured when she has every right to be fed up because her tummy must be at her, it’s miserable when she finally is able to do a poo.

Digs · 22-09-2018 07:45PM

Shesty her appetite is a bit poor recently. I’m not sure if it’s connected to her tummy being off. I have been absolutely loading her with fruits for the last few weeks!! Berries in particular, kiwis, flaxseed on her porridge, every root vegetable I can think of with dinner. Sometimes she’ll Wolf it all and others point blank refuse. This morning there was a yuck at the kiwi which she had previously loved!
One saving grace is she loves water, no problems there at all!! She doesn’t like any sort of fruit juice though so that’s why we had a problem with giving her paediatric movical. She could taste it in her water so refused but wouldn’t drink juice which would mask the taste!!

I’ve actually been so stressed out trying to figure the whole thing out. I was so upset when Crumlin wouldn’t see her. I feel like it’s going on so long now we need a bit of help rather then just being left for her to “grow out of it!!”. It’s getting worse as she becomes more aware. Previously she would just go days without a poo and then eventually get it done whereas now they’re getting bigger and she gets very upset doing one

Toddler suddenly terrified of bath

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