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Can one be content without relationships?

  • 03-07-2018 10:59AM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I never had friends in secondary school but looking back at it, that never bothered me. I also never had an interest in things like sex which led a psychiatrist to think I could have schizoid or autism (not my words, his).

    Due to conflict with my parents and not getting along deeply with people, I've really wondered if it's best to just keep to myself. I don't really yearn for friends but this summer I've been inside and just knowing my former classmates are doing exciting things and seeing other people converse makes me feel a bit left out. People say it's bad to stay indoors and away from 'man' but is it really?

    At the moment, I don't listen to music, don't watch TV or don't have a computer so I just mostly spend time at home doing nothing.


Comments

  • #2
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    Some people are introverted. That’s not a negative, in one way it means they don’t value a huge amount of external relationships, but they prefer to value a limited amount of close relationships.

    Out of curiosity, how old are you? Are you in secondary or university?


  • #3
    silverharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,854 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    long term I don't think so, its one of the pillars of good mental health to have a network of people and relationships around you

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The question of whether one can be content or not is irrelevant, some people can, some people cant and since you already feel left out, you're already in the latter group. The question for you now is what are you going to do address that? You can come up with a plan to take up some hobbies, do some volunteering, get a job or whatever else is going to bring you into contact with people. You won't make friends with everyone you meet, but you will find some you have something in common with and you can take it from there.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    This isn’t introversion. Did you look further into the suggested autism?


  • #6
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,455 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    Did the psychotherapist go into any further detail regarding autism or schizoid? did they offer any sort diagnosis or how to get one? What about information on how to life with a disorder such as Autism or Schizoid?

    Its one thing to be introverted but its another to have no interest in people. Thats the difference between someone whose introverted or socially awkward and someone who has a disorder. Even very introverted people have a want and need to be around people and have an interest in others, not as much as an extrovert but its a trait thats still there.
    When you are with others do you ask how they are and listen to their answer? do you ask about their lives? show interest in whats going on with them? or do you get irritated when people speak about themselves? are you only able to talk about things that interest you or things happening in your life? - This would be an indication of autism.

    Its very important to have a network of supportive/healthy people around you. Can you try to get a diagnosis so that you can move forward?


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  • #7
    dellas1979
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭dellas1979


    Am curious-what do you do at home then? Are you saying you just sit there and stare into space/daydream?


  • #8
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,720 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Airyfairy12 wrote: »
    Its one thing to be introverted but its another to have no interest in people.

    The fact that the OP has no interest in anything would definitely suggest to me that this is far more than introversion too.

    OP, can you go back to the psychiatrist to discuss further treatment/options? Not everyone wants or needs a huge social circle but sitting at home doing literally nothing all evening every evening is not healthy.


  • #9
    zoobizoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,772 ✭✭✭zoobizoo


    The question could be, would I be more content with relationships?


    It sounds as if you feel that you are missing out on something and that something is human interaction.


    Friends and relationships can make life more interesting and more fun and more worthwhile.


    Why were you seeing a psychiatrist?


  • #10
    Lux23
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    How exactly does a person do nothing? Do you literally just sit around staring into space? This would seriously worry me fataldanger.


  • #11
    WIZWEB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 528 ✭✭✭WIZWEB


    You might be asexual which though rare is perfectly normal.

    I would be concerned about the issues with your parents. Maybe see a counsellor to resolve them. Not the psychiatrist as not their remit.


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  • #12
    Tec Diver
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 409 ✭✭Tec Diver


    fataldanger wrote: »
    I never had friends in secondary school but looking back at it, that never bothered me. I also never had an interest in things like sex which led a psychiatrist to think I could have schizoid or autism (not my words, his).

    Due to conflict with my parents and not getting along deeply with people, I've really wondered if it's best to just keep to myself. I don't really yearn for friends but this summer I've been inside and just knowing my former classmates are doing exciting things and seeing other people converse makes me feel a bit left out. People say it's bad to stay indoors and away from 'man' but is it really?

    At the moment, I don't listen to music, don't watch TV or don't have a computer so I just mostly spend time at home doing nothing.
    I'm an introvert, don't go to pubs/clubs and have less than 5 close friends. I don't like social occasions. However, I enjoy the outdoors and have gone on many holidays on my own and have some great memories from them. 
    I'd rather have very few close friends, than lots of not-so-close friends. 

    Eoin


  • #13
    Tec Diver
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 409 ✭✭Tec Diver


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    Airyfairy12 wrote: »
    Its one thing to be introverted but its another to have no interest in people.

    The fact that the OP has no interest in anything would definitely suggest to me that this is far more than introversion too.

    OP, can you go back to the psychiatrist to discuss further treatment/options?  Not everyone wants or needs a huge social circle but sitting at home doing literally nothing all evening every evening is not healthy.
    If the OP were to return to therapy, it may be better to talk to a psychologist.
    Eoin


  • #14
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,627 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Moderator
    fataldanger, your last post will not be approved. The Forum Charter applies to all posters.

    The thread can remain open for you to get more advice and engage with posters. If you no longer wish to do that we can lock the thread.


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