My Life Is Just So Empty

cactuspaw · 30-06-2018 06:45PM #1

I spend so much time here looking for answers as at this stage, nobody seems to want to give me any anymore.

For a very long period of time i asked so many people to help me get a job, and while it seemed no problem to hand jobs to whatever other person cam along they could not do this for me. nowhere would employ me and eventhough im well qaulifed nobody seem to want to pay money to let me do what im qaulifed in. after 2 years of living on nothing and doing a lot of work for free, i eventualy got a poorly paid job relevant to my qaulification miles away from friends and very long comunte. i am very very happy to have this job. it is fantastic being able to work in somthing i enjoy and feel confident in, but on the downside, i have absolutely no friends, i never see anyone i once got on with and most of the gang have forgotton about me.
when i get upset about this my family dont seem to care. their logic is "there is money in your accout? great" when i tell them i spend so much time alone they keep asking me to visit people who moved away years ago. i want a group of friends. iv gone to girl crew, meet up, loads of things, but it always just kind of fizzels out and i dont see those people after a while. if sombody can tell me what is the best thing to do to cheer myslef up.

Purple Mountain · 01-07-2018 12:27AM

Sorry to sound harsh but your whole post sounds of self pity.
That's never an attractive trait to other people.
Just something to think about.

callaway92 · 01-07-2018 09:15AM

You sound like you need a fresh change...like a big fresh change along the lines of even trying a move to London or something.

The stench of self pity off your post is strong:

i asked so many people to help me get a job

Do this yourself

while it seemed no problem to hand jobs to whatever other person cam along they could not do this for me

Not their problem. Even if my best friend asked me to get him a job, sometimes things prevent that from happening and I'd lose interest in helping.

if sombody can tell me what is the best thing to do to cheer myslef up

A fresh change

JustAThought · 01-07-2018 09:42AM

Dont go moving to London to cure your lonlieness - it'd be like moving to work in a chocolate factory to start your diet.

The internet & boards may provide human interaction and contact but not friends. You need to find a new circle or friends and you win't typically get that online.

I dunno what age you are or where you are based but there has to be something within your area where there are different types of people where you can join and have something in common other than just going gigging or drinking & talking about your problems.

Pick a team type sport and join up. You will instantly have to meet regularly to train, have a common goal and may be involved in a league/meeting an even wider circle. Try something like tag rugby which is very social and mixed or a not too competitive cycling club or tennis or squash. Dont pick all girl sport as you will end up with a group of girls moaning and self absorbency - pick a mixed sport and it will be more balanced and better craic.

Volunteer somewhere -not a solo activity like reception or PR but something that will involve you in a group -maybe in a foróige club or in a charity shop or vincent de paul or helping put out the cones & organising the balls and timing in the local gaa training or something. People always need help - choose something with helpers in your age bracket or in a busy spot.

Join a bookclub. Youll be meeting people regularly every 2 weeks and talking about something other than self/problems.if nothing else it will take your mind off yourself and onto some topic/book you would never had read otherwise.

Do a course - pick something light and a bit of craic - or maybe something useful for work where you could meet people with a common interest. Chinese cookery. Group karate. Squash for beginners classes. Astrology. Digital something -maybe a new skill like building apps. Something to get you meeting new people and out of the house and thinking about something new and maybe a project.

Meetup.com lots of different groups in this -talks, gigs and going out to clubs, talks, group trips and adventure clubs etc etc.

People are loaded down with problems - they want a bit of craic when they go out. Just make sure you have something to bring to the table when you meet like an interest or a hobby to chit chat about -anyrhing other than just being isolated or lonely even if this is true .

Xterminator · 02-07-2018 12:20PM

Hi Op

I would suspect you are a glass half empty kind of person. By that i mean you worry about things, and about what you haven't got, rather than what you have got and what you can do. for the only time in your life you life is a bit of a blank canvas, with many opportunities open to you.

you have a job now, that will allow you to work on a career. Do a great job in your current role for a year then assess how you are getting on in current organisation. Move job if you have to, but usually its easier to find a job when you have one! Is there a night class you can take that will compliment your chosen career?

re friends, there are great suggestions above re volunteering and clubs etc. You need to forge a new circle of friends. Fill your days and nights. Then when its time to go on holiday, go on a trip, put ypurself out there!

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/travel/flying-solo-singles-holidays-and-a-few-that-might-lead-to-love-1.2965513

My Life Is Just So Empty

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