Is 200 enough of a wedding present from a couple?

When we got married a few years ago we had about 40 people at the wedding and made it clear on the invites that the only gift we wanted was for them to turn up and enjoy the day. You would be amazed how many people still gave us something, it was lovely but a few weeks later we did ask why they felt the need to give something and the general answer was that they did not want to be the one person who did not have a gift on the day.

I like to pay my way and give a bit extra, 200 for regular hotel venue. I'd give 300 if a posher venue, just because I know it costs more. Each to their own that's just my rule for me.

awec wrote: »

Getting a wedding invitation is like getting a summons.

Actually a summons is probably cheaper.

Especially if it is down the country.
We have one next month and it is 2 nights in the hotel and that alone is costing €306 before we do anything else. The wife has already bought the dress, the shoes & the bag. I'll be lucky to have new jocks and socks for it

I'll never pay more than £100 max. I'm thankfully not acquainted with anyone who would throw a wedding to make a profit, and if anyone was upset at me and the gf giving £100 they can toddle along.

I have read the most of this thread and i feel that people are looking at the extreme cases, most couples getting married are just doing the normal thing and as someone who got married a few years ago I found that you can please everyone.

As for the earlier poster who gives a mirrors and photo frames if your not married yourself and plan on being in the future I hope you have plenty of space on your walls as you'll be getting plenty of these items back.

Generally there are 3 groups in wedding

1. Family and close friends, if your in this category 99% of people have absolutely no issue giving a cash gift as they know the financial pressure the wedding is putting on the couple. As said before the amount is very much dependent on what you can afford. A couple however would most likely prefer to see 100% of this group attending irrespective of presents.

2. Extended friends and family, this group are where some view an invitation as a fine, however if not invited they would be insulted in most instances. if seen as a fine im sure most couples would be fine with you refusing the invitation.

3. Neighbors and Parents Friends Etc, if your not in the other two categories your in this one, this should be the smallest group in a wedding, your being invited because they have to, most couples would be fine with you refusing the invitation. However that said, if the wedding is massive and group 3 is also massive, then most likely they are using the thing as a profit making venture.

A lot of people are referring to ridiculously lavish weddings etc however in my experience most couples don't do this, the lavishness is the minority. Guests at a wedding, particularly in Ireland, expect a certain number of things, like a meal, band, wine etc, this all costs money. The very guests who consider parts of a wedding lavish would be the first to complain if they arrived to the wedding with the groom in a t shirt and jeans and the bride in a top and mini skirt with a few plates of sandwiches to feed people, they would be branded a disgrace.

JimmyMW wrote: »

Guests at a wedding, particularly in Ireland, expect a certain number of things, like a meal, band, wine etc, this all costs money. The very guests who consider parts of a wedding lavish would be the first to complain if they arrived to the wedding with the groom in a t shirt and jeans and the bride in a top and mini skirt with a few plates of sandwiches to feed people, they would be branded a disgrace.

So wait, a couple should invite friends and family to the event which includes a meal, band and wine... then expect the guests to pay for those things?

Isn't that the same as getting invited to a birthday party and then expecting to have the guests pay for a portion of the cake?

If a couple want a wedding then great! But no one else should be financing this except the couple choosing to hold the event.

hightower1 wrote: »

So wait, a couple should invite friends and family to the event which includes a meal, band and wine... then expect the guests to pay for those things?

Also just to add to that, if your not happy with that as its the expected run of things in Ireland, then stay at home.

Dublinflyer wrote: »

When we got married a few years ago we had about 40 people at the wedding and made it clear on the invites that the only gift we wanted was for them to turn up and enjoy the day. You would be amazed how many people still gave us something, it was lovely but a few weeks later we did ask why they felt the need to give something and the general answer was that they did not want to be the one person who did not have a gift on the day.

Same here .

At our wedding we specifically said that we didn't need / want gifts or cash .

We had friends and family coming from the UK and Scandinavia as well as here and didn't want to add to anybody's expense ( practically everyone stayed in the hotel )

Some of our friends volunteered to make the cake / place settings /and do the flowers ( florist in the family ) and other bits and pieces ( which all turned out great )


We still ended up with plenty of cash gifts though .

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Expected by whom ? We have a family wedding coming up and the couple expect nothing but a good day had by all
Not all weddings are the same , not all couples are the same

Probably just as well, I hope you have a good day anyway

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Believe me we will , its all about family fir us !

Well go with your hands hanging and see how well your received by the couple in the next 6 months