My face goes red way too easily

newboard · 14-06-2018 08:45AM #1

Hi all,
This is something that gets to me every now and again. My face seems to go red really easily, which makes me uncomfortable for obvious reasons.

I've learned to ride through the storm most times, i.e if I notice it happen when I'm in conversation with someone for example, I try not to flinch and just continue talking like normal and it passes.

Other times though it's a lot worse, and bothers me a lot more, and this seems to be when I'm unexpectedly the centre of attention especially within a group.

For example the last time it really bothered me was when I was at the supermarket with a friend. My friend was at the checkout already and when I went to join them, the person ahead of us in the queue was someone I knew so there was a big "Oh hi how are you!" moment. Of course my face went bright red and it made the situation way more awkward than it should have been.

I'm a friendly guy with plenty of friends, I have a public-facing job and am involved in plenty of meetings and what not, I get on fine on dates etc etc.

But I have this annoying awkward side to me at times that I feel knocks me back and makes me feel other people would see me as weird/awkward to be around (understandable if I light up like a Christmas tree and stumble with my words when it happens!).

I've been told I'm kind of quirky/awkward in an endearing way which is fine, but I feel I'm a little too old now to still have that as an attribute that people, especially casual acquaintances who I might bump into when out and about, would see me with - at this stage I should be more comfortable in myself, more confident etc.

I know that everyone puts up a front of sorts when out and about, it's just that's not an option for me because my bright red face gives it away!

Kablamo! · 14-06-2018 09:07AM

This happens to me as well.
I'm naturally red faced anyway, but when I blush you can probably see me from space.
I've tried a variety of face creams etc, but had no joy. I've learned to just ignore it now and as you've mentioned it passes faster. I get the odd comment but I've just learned not to care about it anymore- so bloody what if I'm red!
I know that isn't very helpful but I myself have found it's the only solution.

....... · 14-06-2018 09:49AM

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Faith · 14-06-2018 12:35PM

Happens to me too! It’s relatively unpredictable as well - I was in a meeting the other day and got to talking about a case I wanted some input in. It was with colleagues I know very well and I regard most as good friends, but I flushed as if I was giving a Ted Talk to thousands of people.

It is very embarrassing, so sometimes I try and address it before it happens, if I can. Eg in a meeting as above, I might say in a light-hearted way “my face will go bright red shortly, nothing to worry about!” Or I’ll warn people about it when I’m drinking too.

On a cosmetic note, I use La Roche Posay Rosaliac moisturiser every day and I find it great at toning down the overall red colour. I also use the green Smashbox primer, but you might not want to use that if you’re a bloke.

Mostly though, I think just accepting that if happens and that it’s outside of your control can be the most helpful thing. Anxiety makes mine worse, so if I worry about the flushing or try to control it, it just makes it worse! I do some controlled breathing to bring my heart rate and breathing rate down if they have increased and generally try to relax my body as much as I can.

chicorytip · 14-06-2018 01:14PM

newboard wrote:

Other times though it's a lot worse, and bothers me a lot more, and this seems to be when I'm unexpectedly the centre of attention especially within a group.

You have what is known as a super sensitive disposition. Do you feel that people are looking at you and regarding you in a mocking or critical manner? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be effective in dealing with this issue. This could become a debilitating problem in your life if measures are not taken to try and overcome it. The fact that you are posting here shows that it is becoming a problem. I would go and talk to a doctor, as a first step. You are certainly not alone. I'm sure many, many people experience similar situations to what you have described on a daily basis.

newboard · 14-06-2018 02:15PM

chicorytip wrote: »

You have what is known as a super sensitive disposition. Do you feel that people are looking at you and regarding you in a mocking or critical manner? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be effective in dealing with this issue. This could become a debilitating problem in your life if measures are not taken to try and overcome it. The fact that you are posting here shows that it is becoming a problem. I would go and talk to a doctor, as a first step. You are certainly not alone. I'm sure many, many people experience similar situations to what you have described on a daily basis.

Hmm this struck a chord with me. I don't necessarily feel I'm being criticised or mocked, just observed. For example if I'm walking down the street past a line of traffic, I feel that everyone in their cars are looking at me. It doesn't bother me very much or make me anxious, just something that sits at the back of my head and makes me just ever so slightly uneasy.

In my supermarket example in the OP, I felt (for a moment) that everyone within earshot were listening in on my conversation with the person I bumped into, and yes, maybe criticising my handling of the situation in that case.

I know rationally that they're not, and they've their own things to worry about, and even if they were then who cares, but now that you say it it does feel like that's the immediate induced reaction from those kinds of situations.

TomOnBoard · 14-06-2018 03:13PM

chicorytip wrote: »

You have what is known as a super sensitive disposition. Do you feel that people are looking at you and regarding you in a mocking or critical manner? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be effective in dealing with this issue. This could become a debilitating problem in your life if measures are not taken to try and overcome it. The fact that you are posting here shows that it is becoming a problem. I would go and talk to a doctor, as a first step. You are certainly not alone. I'm sure many, many people experience similar situations to what you have described on a daily basis.

+1 on the CBT

Dizzyblonde · 17-06-2018 12:13AM

OP I feel your pain. I was very self-conscious and blushed easily for most of my life. Like you I felt as though people were looking at me. If CBT had been around when I was younger I would definitely have tried it because of the impact it had on my life. For me, getting older and reaching a point where I just didn't care about it any more made it stop happening and it was so liberating! I also realised later in life that people didn't actually notice me or my red face nearly as much as I thought they did.

bee06 · 17-06-2018 08:09AM

I’m another red face! Most commonly used to happen then talking in larger social groups but sometimes talking to someone one to one. In the one to one situations it might start because I said something I perceived to be embarrassing but the odd time it would happen for no reason and it would keep getting redder and redder because I was embarrassed because my face was red. I’m normally very pale so it is very obvious as well.

After reading this thread, I’m trying to think back on the last time it happened and can’t remember. It’s been a good while. Possibly because I haven’t been in a situation for it to happen in ages (I’m on maternity leave and my baby doesn’t really care about his embarrassing mom) but I think I’ve just grown out of it. As the previous poster said, I care less about what people think of me and I’m also more confident in myself. I used to be so shy up until about 10 years ago and have gone through a gradual process of growing out of that, gaining confidence and realising that people are too busy worrying about their own insecurities to be paying attention to mine.

honeybear · 17-06-2018 08:18AM

I’m finding a lot of comfort reading this thread (thanks OP!) I go red easily too-it’s usually when I’m in a coffee shop facing lots of customers-think people are looking at me. I have my favourite seats where I’m not facing many customers. I know it’s irrational and I would love CBT to address my issue.

chicorytip · 17-06-2018 05:38PM

honeybear wrote:

Iâ€™m finding a lot of comfort reading this thread (thanks OP!) I go red easily too-itâ€™s usually when Iâ€™m in a coffee shop facing lots of customers-think people are looking at me. I have my favourite seats where Iâ€™m not facing many customers. I know itâ€™s irrational and I would love CBT to address my issue.

People who blush very easily can also suffer with the skin condition Rosacea which, for those that have it,can be distressing. There is a very effective treatment available, Photorejuvenation or IPL which uses lasers to treat the affected areas greatly reducing redness which would of course have the added benefit of lessening the severity of blushing episodes. A number of consultant dermatologists in Ireland now offer this treatment although, as of yet, only to private patients.

My face goes red way too easily

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