What happens when I provide father's details to registrar?

sgmallen · 26-05-2018 08:32PM #1

I've read some online summaries of the Civil Registration (Amendment) Act 2014 and am wondering if anyone can help advise what will happen if my baby's father declines to have his name added to our son's birth cert.

I want his name on there - I think it's important- and we were due to register our son's birth yesterday. His father got angry when I asked which surname should be used and asked about double barrelling our surnames. Now he's refusing to attend to register the birth at all. I'll give his details to the registrar as required but what happens if he refuses?

Eric Cartman · 27-05-2018 05:55PM

If the lad doesn't want to be on the birth cert then leave him off. You're just going to cause hurt for yourself in future trying to get passports and other documents for the kids that the father also won't sign. He clearly doesn't want to be involved.

Del2005 · 27-05-2018 06:46PM

If you are not married having the fathers name on the birth cert means nothing, he gets no rights so why should he bother.

He's still responsible for his child regardless.

sgmallen · 27-05-2018 08:22PM

Del2005 wrote: »

If you are not married having the fathers name on the birth cert means nothing, he gets no rights so why should he bother.

He's still responsible for his child regardless.

I'm thinking of my son not having a blank space there when he looks at it

Del2005 · 28-05-2018 01:49PM

sgmallen wrote: »

I'm thinking of my son not having a blank space there when he looks at it

I can't remember ever looking at my birth certificate. I got a copy for my passport but just stuck it in with the application.

If the Father is around then your Son will know his Father, if the Father isn't around will a name on a piece of paper make any difference?

daheff · 28-05-2018 01:51PM

sgmallen wrote: »

His father got angry when I asked which surname should be used and asked about double barrelling our surnames. Now he's refusing to attend to register the birth at all.

Why is he acting like this?

Fred Swanson · 28-05-2018 04:31PM

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splinter65 · 28-05-2018 05:05PM

sgmallen wrote: »

I'm thinking of my son not having a blank space there when he looks at it

He cannot be named as the father on the birth cert against his will if your not married to him. You’ll have to try and sort this out with him yourself.

sgmallen · 28-05-2018 05:43PM

I know I can't do it without his consent- I was wondering if anyone knew what happens if the registrar tries to contact him and he doesn't reply? From what I've read it seems I'm obliged to provide his details and he has 28 days to respond to the registrar.

sgmallen · 28-05-2018 05:44PM

daheff wrote: »

Why is he acting like this?

He had assumed his surname would be put down and because I questioned that has decided to opt out of the whole process

Fred Swanson · 28-05-2018 05:44PM

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Gravelly · 28-05-2018 05:47PM

sgmallen wrote: »

I'm thinking of my son not having a blank space there when he looks at it

Why would that make a difference if he's going to grow up without the father around? Unless you are going to tell him the father died, he's going to know he wasn't there anyway.

Gravelly · 28-05-2018 05:48PM

sgmallen wrote: »

He had assumed his surname would be put down and because I questioned that has decided to opt out of the whole process

Sounds like he is a little mixed up about what the responsibilities of fatherhood entail.

splinter65 · 28-05-2018 05:54PM

sgmallen wrote: »

I know I can't do it without his consent- I was wondering if anyone knew what happens if the registrar tries to contact him and he doesn't reply? From what I've read it seems I'm obliged to provide his details and he has 28 days to respond to the registrar.

I don’t know where you read that, that’s not what happens at all. You are under no obligation to name any man as father of your child, and the registrar won’t accept any efforts in your behalf to name anyone, never mind contact that man for you.
I understand you don’t want the space to be blank, but you might just as well name my husband or George Clooney as the father to the registrar, you have to understand that ?

sgmallen · 28-05-2018 06:12PM

Fred Swanson wrote: »

The registrar won't be contacting him as his details will not be recorded.

I had thought from this that it was necessary but I could be wrong: http://www.treoir.ie/information/registration-of-births-information/

sgmallen · 28-05-2018 06:17PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

If the lad doesn't want to be on the birth cert then leave him off. You're just going to cause hurt for yourself in future trying to get passports and other documents for the kids that the father also won't sign. He clearly doesn't want to be involved.

He actually intends to be involved and has been so far - just got cross over the surname issue. The reason I raised it with him was passports and documents etc. It was the example I gave

sgmallen · 28-05-2018 06:19PM

splinter65 wrote: »

I don’t know where you read that, that’s not what happens at all. You are under no obligation to name any man as father of your child, and the registrar won’t accept any efforts in your behalf to name anyone, never mind contact that man for you.
I understand you don’t want the space to be blank, but you might just as well name my husband or George Clooney as the father to the registrar, you have to understand that ?

I could have got it wrong alright but I've read it in a few places- the Treoir website (link in post above) and here:
http://www.thejournal.ie/readme/compulsory-birth-registration-of-unmarried-fathers-names-1578884-Jul2014/

splinter65 · 28-05-2018 06:20PM

sgmallen wrote: »

I had thought from this that it was necessary but I could be wrong: http://www.treoir.ie/information/registration-of-births-information/

But you haven’t got a Court order?

sgmallen · 28-05-2018 06:22PM

splinter65 wrote: »

But you haven’t got a Court order?

Was looking at this section but I could easily have it wrong:

Following the commencement of this new legislation, if a mother attends without the father to register her child’s birth the Registrar will register the birth without a surname for the child and without the father’s details. The mother will be asked for contact details of the father and the Registrar will then make ‘all reasonable efforts’ to contact the father and invite him to attend the Registrar’s Office within 28 days in order to complete the registration. Only in exceptional cases, where ‘compelling reasons’ are provided, will the father’s name be omitted.

Fred Swanson · 28-05-2018 06:44PM

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sgmallen · 28-05-2018 06:46PM

Fred Swanson wrote: »

And what if the father is genuinely unknown?

That's one of the 'compelling reasons' for the name to be omitted, from what I've read: the father is unknown, can't be located, or is considered a potential danger

sgmallen · 28-05-2018 07:06PM

OmegaGene wrote: »

just leave it blank, mine is blank because my father wasnt there with id at the time and i survived
if the father is being a prick then treat him like a prick
being a father should be the proudest moment of his life

I think there was an amendment to the act in 2014 which means it's compulsory except in certain cases but that's very much my lay-person's understanding!

Thanks for sharing your own story. For some reason I liked looking at my birth cert as a child! But I think I must be in the minority there

sgmallen · 28-05-2018 08:15PM

OmegaGene wrote: »

My son was born September 2014 and the form at the hospital said if the father doesn’t have valid Id with him he won’t be added to the birth cert and that’s it

That's useful to know, thank you.

Edited to say I think the amendment to the act came into effect on 4th December 2014. I'll update here after he's registered just in case it's helpful to anyone in the future.

daheff · 30-05-2018 12:59PM

sgmallen wrote: »

He had assumed his surname would be put down and because I questioned that has decided to opt out of the whole process

would ya not put his surname down then?

is it not better for the child to have his surname and a father on the birthcert than your surname and no father on the birthcert?

If the child wants to change it when they are older they can.

TBH -it sounds like both of you are a bit childish on this.

Fred Swanson · 30-05-2018 01:00PM

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Victor · 30-05-2018 03:28PM

daheff wrote: »

TBH -it sounds like both of you are a bit childish on this.

Childbirth and parentage can be an emotional time.

splinter65 · 30-05-2018 05:01PM

Victor wrote: »

Childbirth and parentage can be an emotional time.

Most men unless their total losers want their child to have their name.

sgmallen · 31-05-2018 06:01AM

daheff wrote: »

would ya not put his surname down then?

is it not better for the child to have his surname and a father on the birthcert than your surname and no father on the birthcert?

If the child wants to change it when they are older they can.

TBH -it sounds like both of you are a bit childish on this.

Yes, I agree! I want to put his surname down- I'd much rather that than no father's details. But, because I asked about putting mine (for practical reasons) he wants no part of it at all. I'd never have raised it if I thought this would happen.

All I wanted was a discussion about practicalities which I think is a reasonable request. I'm more than happy for his surname to be used - just wanted to agree things like passports/travel etc.

daheff · 31-05-2018 10:17AM

sgmallen wrote: »

Yes, I agree! I want to put his surname down- I'd much rather that than no father's details. But, because I asked about putting mine (for practical reasons) he wants no part of it at all. I'd never have raised it if I thought this would happen.

So you want to put his name down, but asked about putting yours down. Seems like you are sending serious mixed messages.

Either that or there is a lot more to this that you haven't told us.

sgmallen · 31-05-2018 10:38AM

daheff wrote: »

So you want to put his name down, but asked about putting yours down. Seems like you are sending serious mixed messages.

Either that or there is a lot more to this that you haven't told us.

I brought it up by asking about double barrelling- think I mentioned that above somewhere - and the example I gave was ease of travel etc. He reacted badly so I'm more than happy to go with his name if it avoids hassle and no father's details recorded at all. I don't think there were any mixed messages and no back story. I think it's okay to want to discuss these things

splinter65 · 31-05-2018 11:16AM

sgmallen wrote: »

I brought it up by asking about double barrelling- think I mentioned that above somewhere - and the example I gave was ease of travel etc. He reacted badly so I'm more than happy to go with his name if it avoids hassle and no father's details recorded at all. I don't think there were any mixed messages and no back story. I think it's okay to want to discuss these things

I fully understand what your trying to do, it’s unfortunate that he’s making this so difficult for you.
Do you have any mutual friends who could act as an intermediary who could approach him and explain that although you’d like your child to have both surnames on the birth certificate that your happy for just his to go on as long as the child’s paternity is acknowledged ?

What happens when I provide father's details to registrar?

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