Double barrel name

LizzieE88 · 03-02-2018 10:20AM #1

Hi, getting this married this year I like the idea of a double barrel name but my husband to be doesn't, any thoughts welcome please

Vojera · 03-02-2018 12:17PM

It's up to you, OP. It's your name, not his.

Does he give a reason for not wanting you to double-barrell?

tedpan · 03-02-2018 12:24PM

LizzieE88 wrote:

Hi, getting this marred this year I like the idea of a double barrel name but my husband to be doesn't, any thoughts welcome please

What are your thoughts? What are his thoughts?

You're getting married for the rest of your life, surely you are able to discuss this with him and come to an agreement?

Dial Hard · 03-02-2018 12:37PM

Vojera wrote:

It's up to you, OP. It's your name, not his.

I suspect it's his name he doesn't want to double-barrel.

Vojera · 03-02-2018 12:49PM

Dial Hard wrote: »

I suspect it's his name he doesn't want to double-barrel.

If that's the case, then it's his name and it's up to him. Neither can force their decision on the other. But they should at least have a discussion about it.

Teyla Emmagan · 03-02-2018 12:52PM

You double barrel if you want to and he doesn't have to. Sorted. You can't force it on him.

GingerLily · 03-02-2018 01:05PM

It are they talking about any potential children.

My husband wouldn't want a double barrel name for any children , but neither do I so it's not an issue, but I imagine it might be for some.

LizzieE88 · 03-02-2018 01:16PM

We have discussed it hed rather I keep my own or take him not have both. I like the idea of having both but wouldn't choose his solely over my own. If I was to have a db I wouldn't name our children db

Kathnora · 03-02-2018 01:22PM

Double barrel and triple barrel (yes, it's happening these days!!) are, I think, an awful burden on children at school. They can be a real mouthful for the poor child (and they have to learn to spell it all and write it on all their copies etc) and as for the teacher....when you have two or three children with the same first name in the class it can be so laborious calling the child something like "Amy Fitzgerald Reynolds" I have found that older children in 5th or 6th class sometimes ask the teacher to drop one of the names because they get tired of having a
long name too!

lazygal · 03-02-2018 07:24PM

Our children have both our surnames. It's never been an issue. They're far from unique in their school too.

splinter65 · 03-02-2018 07:28PM

It used to be pretentious but it’s not any more.
I agree that it’s a big mouthful for kids.

NIMAN · 03-02-2018 07:31PM

Some surnames don't lend themselves to double barrelling.

They usually involve ones with O, Mc etc.

Nothing sounds sillier than Anne McLaughlin-O'Connell.

TheQuietFella · 03-02-2018 07:34PM

I think that it's pretentious! Either keep your surname or adopt his!

endacl · 03-02-2018 07:40PM

NIMAN wrote: »

Nothing sounds sillier than Anne McLaughlin-O'Connell.

Ivor Lidl-Dich?
Fanny Balls-Gripper?
Ina Looney-Warde?
Willy Ryde D'Arce-Hoffer?
Isa Wang-Holder?

appledrop · 03-02-2018 08:13PM

I didn't change my name so not an option for us. I thought about double barrel for my son but decided against it. It's a personal choice but it's a better choice in my opinion than totally changing your name.

Mr.H · 03-02-2018 08:52PM

Double barrelled names are a silly craze. I can see the reason for certain professionals in medicine law or journalism but seriously where does it end.

You double barrel your name then your daughter with a double barrelled name marries someone else with a double barrel and wants to add her names. Now their kids have four driven names. I mean FFS this world we are living in is being torn apart by the feminists that have nothing real to actually moan about. The suffregets would turn in their graves

LizzieE88 · 03-02-2018 09:13PM

Mr.H wrote: »

Double barrelled names are a silly craze. I can see the reason for certain professionals in medicine law or journalism but seriously where does it end.

You double barrel your name then your daughter with a double barrelled name marries someone else with a double barrel and wants to add her names. Now their kids have four driven names. I mean FFS this world we are living in is being torn apart by the feminists that have nothing real to actually moan about. The suffregets would turn in their graves

As I previously said above i would not name our children with a db name just myself. I think your reference to feminism is a bit misconstrued wanting to retain a maiden name isn't a feminist issue well at least not for myself I just don't think it makes sense to totally drop the name I've had for my whole life hence my opinion that an amalgamation of the two would be best.

Thanks for your feedback all the same.

eviltwin · 03-02-2018 09:15PM

Mr.H wrote: »

Double barrelled names are a silly craze. I can see the reason for certain professionals in medicine law or journalism but seriously where does it end.

You double barrel your name then your daughter with a double barrelled name marries someone else with a double barrel and wants to add her names. Now their kids have four driven names. I mean FFS this world we are living in is being torn apart by the feminists that have nothing real to actually moan about. The suffregets would turn in their graves

Did you post with the intention of advising the OP or just to have an excuse to have a rant at feminism?

boardsuser1 · 03-02-2018 09:24PM

Double barrel names are horrible.

My eldest child has it, me and the mother refused to back down to each other when she was registered at birth so have to live with it.

On paper she’s double barrel, day to day she uses her mother’s, she dropped mine even though it immediately follows her first name and the mother’s name follows mine.

All of my other children have my surname only,

We weren’t married when our first (my second) was born, the now wife wanted double barrel, I point blank refused the notion of it after the previous hassle, I said give the child her name and she just gave her (and the rest) mine in the end.

Dial Hard · 03-02-2018 09:26PM

Mr.H wrote:

You double barrel your name then your daughter with a double barrelled name marries someone else with a double barrel and wants to add her names. Now their kids have four driven names. I mean FFS this world we are living in is being torn apart by the feminists that have nothing real to actually moan about. The suffregets would turn in their graves

Actually most feminists would just keep their own name, but that doesn't really fit into your little ranty narrative, does it?

One eyed Jack · 03-02-2018 09:33PM

LizzieE88 wrote: »

Hi, getting this marred this year I like the idea of a double barrel name but my husband to be doesn't, any thoughts welcome please

Freudian slip?

But seriously though, is it something that bothers you if your fiancé doesn't double barrel? Or is he bothered that you're double barrelling?

My wife double-barrels on social media, and when I asked her about it, she replied it was so her friends could find her more easily... I won't pretend to understand her rationale

Whatever you're more comfortable with yourself really, I don't see the issue with something that's fairly common these days anyway. It doesn't have the pretentious connotations it once had, and as you said OP it's your name and you want to hold onto it as it's something that matters to you. That's a rationale I can understand!

LizzieE88 · 03-02-2018 09:38PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Freudian slip?

But seriously though, is it something that bothers you if your fiancé doesn't double barrel? Or is he bothered that you're double barrelling?

My wife double-barrels on social media, and when I asked her about it, she replied it was so her friends could find her more easily... I won't pretend to understand her rationale

Whatever you're more comfortable with yourself really, I don't see the issue with something that's fairly common these days anyway. It doesn't have the pretentious connotations it once had, and as you said OP it's your name and you want to hold onto it as it's something that matters to you. That's a rationale I can understand!

Thanks for that, duly edited : )

No I'm not asking him to double barrel too that thought would never have even occurred to me. Tbh one of the main reasons I would like db myself is when we have children they will have his surname so at least if I have db I will have their surname too but also keep my own.

NIMAN · 03-02-2018 09:41PM

LizzieE88 wrote: »

As I previously said above i would not name our children with a db name just myself.

So what surname would your kids have? His or yours?

LizzieE88 · 03-02-2018 09:42PM

NIMAN wrote: »

So what surname would your kids have? His or yours?

His surname

GingerLily · 03-02-2018 09:42PM

It's your name - I think your reasons for double barrelling are very reasonable - go for it! Your HTB will have to respect your decision.

eviltwin · 03-02-2018 09:52PM

Look everyone here can give their own opinion, it doesn't really help you though. Personally I kept my name and the kids have both on official documents but picked their own to use day to day. It works for us, it might not suit everyone else. It's your name and it's how you will be forever known so pick something that you feel comfortable using.

NIMAN · 03-02-2018 09:54PM

LizzieE88 wrote: »

His surname

Easy choice for you? Would you not like the idea of them having yours?

LizzieE88 · 03-02-2018 10:14PM

NIMAN wrote: »

Easy choice for you? Would you not like the idea of them having yours?

Em I never thought about it but I think for tradition sake I'm happy for them to have his surname

dubrov · 03-02-2018 10:18PM

Double barrel names would have been considered pretentious when I was growing up.
Maybe they are so common now it is not an issue.

Personally, I would have preferred to flip my wife for it rather than have our kids take on both our surnames.

peposhi · 03-02-2018 10:32PM

My better half and I are from different countries. When we got married we wanted to somehow to keep our identities via keeping surnames so we chose to have double barrel names.
So speaking of 11 year of experience - most confusing decision we ever made. To make the things even worse - we actually had the surnames reversed, so no matter where we go it causes a huge confusion... At one stage we looked at the option to get rid of the double barrel.

There’s a lot to consider then choosing a double barrel name... pick wise if you really want to do it

listermint · 03-02-2018 10:36PM

splinter65 wrote: »

It used to be pretentious .

..and remains so

Double barrel name

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