D&D Act Two Scene III - Adventures in the Desert

Fourier wrote: »

Borbois Mansion:

Kal takes a bite from the cake, but feels a bit woozy. He then sprouts tiny little wings.

The brownie's clap.

"Oh wonderful, better than we hoped, we were afraid of nasty side effects! Those wings are functioning fairy wings!

As a reward for trusting us, here is a little fairy spell we don't often share."

The brownie hands Kal a scroll that's a mix of arcane mathematics and cooking instructions.

'Oh eh, WOW! Thanks I guess! Do they work? Will they be able to hold a man such as myself? I'll take these insruuctions to my mage friend. He likes recipes.' Kal tries out the new wings by flapping in place.

"Crisitunity, Ash!
That was badass!
Dwayne said she was going to eat me to make herself powerful, and Simon... SIMON! Simon seemed a little spooked. And she was nice to me. No one is nice to me. She was going to eat us both. Ok. Here's what we're going to do. Help me move this zassanach, stick her underneath him."
She tears a few strategic holes in Granny's clothing, finishes the vial of blood and the jams it hard into the soldiers neck. Waste not want not, she fills her waterskin, cleans the nozzle then let's him bleed out. She moves Grannys hand onto the stubby remains of the vial. She keeps one eye on the other soldier.

Step 2 - look for a big pot or cauldron. Is there one?

Ooc : what's that? No one's available to dm? Well that didn't stop you murdering a probably Ill-intentioned bruja while *I* was unavailable to play. Game on!

Having tastefully and carefully ransacked the hut and associated bodies for valuables and magicks, Ash and Othegre return to the tavern, into which Othegre is already invited. Initial confusion is swiftly met with guffaws, jeering and knowing winks - when Granny's hut is a-rockin, don't come a-knockin.
Having no money (and not being willing to cash in any spoils from their recent home invasion) the pair fall back on their uncanny unspoken bond and symbiotic urge to entertain. As Othegre begins to first speak and then sing, Ash somehow produces a lute and strikes a resounding G.

"Hello Byrwin! It's great to be here! You know, people ask me, they say 'Othy, Othy, what star sign are you?' and I tell them I'm a cross between a leo and a Capricorn. I'm a leprechaun. But seriously folks, I'm not just saying this because I'm off my face on sanguinous rocket fuel, I love each and every one of you. Like a preserved ration loves an inaccessible, arduous trail. But now I want to tell you about a man greater than me. Greater than all of us. A man blessed by the gods even if it's not a great god, still, show some respect.
Ahem-hem


"In old Soetrard where the dragon trains rumble
In an inn - what it's called I've no notion
At a table of wood, that you'd get from a tree
Or become if you drank the wrong potion
Sat an elf drinking wine that he ill could afford
2 halflings, 2 whole speaking spells and gods words
A surly teen cutpurse trying not to be bored
An a man with deep eyes like 2 apples been cored - The sleepy but fearsome Nerosian!

When in walks a man stood as tall as a chair though his shadows colossal before him
Bandylegs was his name, woman swooned at his fame, even men's dampening holes can't ignore him
He stroked on his beard luxuriously fullsome.
He called for more ales and the barmaid did pull some.
He said “lads, all drink and no work is a null sum”
“well, would you find evil bastards for us and then cull some?” a floating space faced priest implored him"

“By Vergedain's grace and your gap of a face!” His honour did quickly decide him
“We're the gang for this task, and no questions we'll ask. Give us money!” and the priest did provide him.
"And now unto you this fool quest I bequeath
But first there's someone that you really must meet
In this Temple above there's a devil beneath"
Well he snapped Bandy's spine like a twig from a leaf
While Ekbard of Neros did ride him."

While Ash continues to strum, Othegre calms the crowd with a gesture. " Ok now I have to stress, he's fine. That's not the end of him. But Simon wrote this next verse and I'm not sure how true it is." She continues:

"Well Soetrardian square swift became dragons lair as Citra the Golden descended
Lo, an appetite poked from beneath Bandy's cloak, and into the dragon he bent it
Long into the night they panted and huffled
Many taboos were broken, some collars were ruffled
When she finally arrived it was proudly not muffled, And to Thurmonton Bandy was sended.

Well Goodie the Halfling, he never did meet an old woman he hadn't exploded.
And Saeros the elf (the Gods rest his poor self) always kept both his bow and die loaded"

A scream from outside the tavern suggests that maybe there's a problem. And we'll never hear how that verse ends, but that's a small mercy when you think about how much of the narrative is left to cover.

OOC :
Fourier, I know you want to murder everyone in this town that you have created, but lets get the results back on that visual and heartbeat check first. *then* you shall have your blood!

"Othegre played.... The... Luuuuuuuuuuuuute
widdly widdly widdly widdly woooo!

We love you Byrwin!
Ladies and gentlemen, you fill your cups, we'll freshen up and we'll be right back after this short break.

OK Ash, I think they're all here - let's go! there has to be a back door to this place. Let's get out and send these sickos to sex cannibal hell!"

Chase music!