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We’ve had abortions!/We haven't had abortions!

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Comments

  • #32
    Carry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,024 ✭✭✭Carry


    The_Valeyard wrote: »
    We need to abort this thread and have a megathread..

    No.


  • #33
    The_Valeyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,452 ✭✭✭✭The_Valeyard


    Carry wrote: »
    No.

    Yes.


  • #34
    maxsmum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 521 ✭✭✭maxsmum


    My sister had a termination because the baby had Down Syndrome. That's controversial here, but she told me in countries where they test routinely 100% of women do the same.
    It cost her all in all with the test etc about a grand. She stayed overnight in UK.


  • #35
    LirW
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    My mother told me that she had an abortion when I was around 9.
    She's was a single mother of two girls (our dad wasn't around, he became an alcoholic after I was born) at that point and had a coil fitted, money was really tight and we struggled so much.
    She was briefly dating a guy but it was difficult and she found out she was pregnant despite being on birth control.
    Since it was oh so tough as it was she decided she can't feed another child and couldn't put more struggle on me and my sister. She decided against the child.

    I don't judge her in the slightest, I think it was the right decision, because we had it tough, she had birth control, got pregnant nontheless. Sometimes life is a real bitch. And it was humiliating for her, especially the activists that assaulted her in front of the clinic.


  • #36
    GritBiscuit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 440 ✭✭GritBiscuit


    Nitrogan wrote: »
    How much is an abortion ?

    (horrific question for a lot of people)

    The economics aren't the issue now but I'd just like to know how much someone spends on going to a clinic in the UK etc. must be near 600-700?

    Depends on the treatment/gestation of pregnancy but ranges from around €500 up to around €1700 - not including travel and accommodation. The Abortion Support Network gives multiple supports and can sometimes help out with costs for those in financial hardship.


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  • #37
    CalamariFritti
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,293 ✭✭✭CalamariFritti


    Although I do have an opinion about it I'm not really interested getting involved in any kind of abortion debate. However, there is an argument being brought up which I'm struggling with from a logical angle.

    People who found out that their own abortion was on the cards once for example (I am probably one of them, my older sister was still born). Or people who know someone with a disability so severe they're not even sentient. And they're grateful for their own or that other person's existence. And of course they are.

    But isn't it it that only our self awareness allows us to have such thoughts in the first place? So if you had never been or never reached sentience your argument would have never existed, but probably someone else's would exist instead of you. Who is now grateful for their existence instead of you and since you've never been you might as well conclude that this someone else person is in fact you. And the moment this 'someone else' is their argument is inherently stronger than anyone's who only potentially was.

    I don't know I think I'm making a hash of this, philosophical arguments are obviously not my strong point, but it probably comes down what 'being' actually is. Maybe someone who spent more time thinking about this and better able to articulate it can help me out here.


  • #38
    Neon_Lights
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,426 ✭✭✭Neon_Lights


    No I drive a Ford not aborsh


  • #39
    RhubarbCrumble
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,174 ✭✭✭RhubarbCrumble


    A friend of mine contemplated it a couple of years ago and asked me if I'd go to the UK with her. I said yes but she decided against it in the end and had the baby. She loves her child but she's still with the child's father and it's not the best relationship. Her own Dad is great though. Right from the start she got amazing support from him.


  • #40
    uck51js9zml2yt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,268 ✭✭✭✭uck51js9zml2yt


    Vela wrote: »
    Ummm, I don't think you get it.

    You said that "babies" would like to live too.
    • A foetus isn't a baby.
    • A foetus can't miss a life it hasn't been born into.
    • A foetus doesn't care whether it's born or not, because it's a foetus.

    If you knew you were going to die now, you'd want to live, because you've experienced life. That's a totally different scenario to a foetus being aborted.

    A foetus has a heartbeat. That heartbeat can stop. It's alive.
    It reacts to stimuli. It's alive. Abortion removes that life.

    On a more philosophical note. You've had interactions with people which I assume on the most part they have benefited from ( I assume) how much poorer would those lives have been without you existing.
    It's a wonderful life!


  • #41
    dinorebel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,321 ✭✭✭dinorebel


    Fighting Tao wrote: »
    This will end well.
    Unlike the pregnancy.


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  • #42
    splinter65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Carry wrote: »
    I'm sorry to hear that, lazybones. It must hurt to hear that you are only alive because of a shopping trip . Of course you are glad to be alive, but you see, in this thread it's not about you or the babies, it's about the women who struggle to make a difficult decision.

    Does anyone ever think about the women?

    Did you ask your mother why she didn't want a child? Did you ask her about her circumstances, and her feelings? Did you ask yourself why she needs to get drunk? Did you ask yourself what your being alive did to her life?

    If you care about life so much, please try to care about your mother's life, too, and try to put yourself in her shoes.

    Probably might have discussed things more with his/her mother if she hadn’t been so keen to remind him/herthat she only allowed him to live because she got a shopping spree out of it.
    Just maybe this mother is just not a very nice person? It does happen.


  • #43
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    dinorebel wrote: »
    Unlike the pregnancy.

    If the woman wants it to end in abortion then it’s ending well.


  • #44
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    I know one girl who "took the boat". It's was both the right choice at the time and something she'll never get over...A horrible no win situation really.


  • #45
    A Little Pony
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,875 ✭✭✭A Little Pony


    Carry wrote: »
    The above was the title page of the then renowned German magazine Stern in the year 1971 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We%27ve_had_abortions!).

    374 prominent and ordinary women confessed publicly that they had an abortion at a time when it was still illegal in Germany. I remember it well because I thought it was very brave of these women to admit something which was not only illegal but also strictly and morally condemned. They not only had to fear prosecution (which didn’t happen) but also being shunned by all the people who quickly climbed up their moral high horse.

    It caused a shìtstorm, of course, but it also caused a necessary societal discussion. The feminists, which were at that time really fighting for basic rights (I was a bit later one of them), pushed the agenda and three years later the German parliament (women are voters too, you know) decided to legalise abortion on demand up to 12 weeks of pregnancy.

    It wasn’t that easy though. The conservatives fought over the years tooth and nail against it. The current situation is more complicated but under certain circumstances (and under 12 weeks) abortion is still legal as far as I know (I live too long in Ireland to know everything what’s going on in Germany).

    Long story short: I’m wondering if any woman in Ireland or more precisely here on boards would confess that she had an abortion. I’m not nosy, I still think that the more women say it out loud the more their predicament will be heard. And every abortion is a predicament that all those moralistic foetus-savers will never understand.

    Boards is a small platform to start, but at least it’s a start.
    So boardsistas, anyone?

    Yes, I’ve had an abortion and it was a horrible and humiliating experience.

    I’m not interested in the usual arguments that are discussed to death in other threads about abortion. I’m interested in experiences of women who went through this ordeal.

    Why would you think making a thread like this isn't going to get people who disagree with abortion? It's a very decisive and polarizing subject. It makes the gay marriage debates look like a picnic. People are very passionate about it.


  • #46
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    A Little Pony wrote: »
    Why would you think making a thread like this isn't going to get people who disagree with abortion? It's a very decisive and polarizing subject. It makes the gay marriage debates look like a picnic. People are very passionate about it.

    The OP probably wanted to approach it from a different angle, hearing from women who have been through it. The other threads are more theoretical. She explicitly lays out what she hopes for the thread to achieve.


  • #47
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    I had an abortion nine years ago. I was in my 30's and married, we already had a child. I'm very open about it, only one person I know had an issue with it. Everyone else we know, including his elderly mam and my holy Joe relatives didn't care. It's harder to push the image that those having abortions are evil baby killers when you know them as nice, decent people which we are. It was the best decision for us and I don't feel any regret or shame. I know it doesn't reflect on my character. It's not something I think about outside this debate. Would I do it again if I could go back? Absolutely.


  • #48
    Tenigate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 849 ✭✭✭Tenigate


    _Dara_ wrote: »
    She explicitly lays out what she hopes for the thread to achieve.

    Seems like she (or he) is trying to create an echo chamber and is pushing a liberal agenda.


  • #49
    One More Toy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,003 ✭✭✭One More Toy


    Just my 2 cents

    Abortions remind me of chemo (of which i am unfortunately very familiar)

    No body in a million years would go down the route willingly; both horrible experiences but necessary

    The pro-life loons (read: Iona) think that every woman in ireland will open their legs on a friday night and not wear a condom. Ridiculous. But the right wing media have thrown fuel on this fire


    Abortions for all, minature irish flags for some I say


  • #50
    Tenigate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 849 ✭✭✭Tenigate


    One More Toy wrote: »
    The pro-life loons (read: Iona) think that every woman in ireland will open their legs on a friday night and not wear a condom.

    Not sure what kind of women you associate with but that's not how condoms work


  • #51
    One More Toy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,003 ✭✭✭One More Toy


    Tenigate wrote: »
    Not sure what kind of women you associate with but that's not how condoms work

    Hi Cora!


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  • #52
    dinorebel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,321 ✭✭✭dinorebel


    _Dara_ wrote: »
    If the woman wants it to end in abortion then it’s ending well.
    It was a joke:cool:


  • #53
    pitifulgod
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,282 ✭✭✭pitifulgod


    Gonna ignore those who are trying this thread into an argument. The user wants to allow an open space where women can openly speak about their abortions, regret or not etc. To those who are taking the thread with this intent, I would like to say fair play for your openness, I know it isn't easy to discuss as a topic, particularly in this country.

    I'm male but for the record, I would never judge my mother if she told me she had an abortion or even if she had considered aborting me. She didn't but I respect her right to make that decision.

    So fair play to the OP and I hope people don't choose to allow it to descend into sniping too and fro.


  • #54
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    Tenigate wrote: »
    Seems like she (or he) is trying to create an echo chamber and is pushing a liberal agenda.

    Sure, we all have biases.


  • #55
    maxsmum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 521 ✭✭✭maxsmum


    What's a 'liberal agenda'?! Sounds a bit Orwellian.


  • #56
    Carry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,024 ✭✭✭Carry


    Tenigate wrote: »
    Seems like she (or he) is trying to create an echo chamber and is pushing a liberal agenda.

    She. Definitely She. And a bad-ass She.

    ... echo chamber ... liberal agenda ....
    Nope. I'm not impressed.


  • #57
    thee glitz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,294 ✭✭✭thee glitz


    One More Toy wrote: »
    The pro-life loons (read: Iona) think that every woman in ireland will open their legs on a friday night and not wear a condom. Ridiculous.


    Ye, it's just some sh!t you made up. It doesn't matter anyway - allowable or not should be independent of incidence.


  • #58
    splinter65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    One More Toy wrote: »
    Hi Cora!

    Damn. I wish I was a super cool as this.


  • #59
    One More Toy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,003 ✭✭✭One More Toy


    splinter65 wrote: »
    Damn. I wish I was a super cool as this.

    Im home with the downies


    Anyway Id much rather hear of how horrible it is to have to travel 100s of miles in secrecy rather than everyone's agenda


  • #60
    The_Valeyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,452 ✭✭✭✭The_Valeyard


    Carry wrote: »

    Did you ask your mother why she didn't want a child? Did you ask her about her circumstances, and her feelings? Did you ask yourself why she needs to get drunk? Did you ask yourself what your being alive did to her life?

    If you care about life so much, please try to care about your mother's life, too, and try to put yourself in her shoes.

    This is an extremely f*cked up comment. He told a very personal and horrifying story and this is what you took from it?

    Why doesnt he care about the woman who tried to nuke him before birth? Im sure he did care, which is why he went looking for her in the first place. You come across very heartless with that!


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  • #61
    Ave Sodalis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,555 ✭✭✭Ave Sodalis


    The_Valeyard wrote:
    Why doesnt he care about the woman who tried to nuke him before birth? Im sure he did care, which is why he went looking for her in the first place. You come across very heartless with that!


    Nuke him before birth?! That's a new one...

    Can we not have a thread where women and men can talk about and share their experiences with abortion without this kind of rubbish?


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