Gin ****

Good god I hate gin ****, I hate them. They're absolutely everywhere nowadays. Ubiquitous bastards. Look at ya there, standing with your poxy goldfish bowl full of gin with seawood or lettuce or probably kale swirling around in it you hipster piece of sh*t. ''It's got cucumber in it so it's one of my 5-a-day lol''. No, no it's not. You're a wanker. And gin bars are now a thing too? ''Uh sorry, what tonics do you recommend?''. Seriously, you try-hard motherfcukers. Stop trying to be into gin. Get that perfect filter for your gin pics... well you can fcuk off too Lovin' Dublin or whatever clickbaity gick is on the bandwagon this week. Gin tea bags, gin biscuits... Christ make it stop. Gin was the tipple of hairy lipped ladies back in the day was it not? Auld ones playing bridge or something? Now the girls drinking it are youngones that, this time last year, were falling around locked on blue WKD bawling their eyes out on street corners. Now it's all Gin + Doggy Ear Filter + Be Rude Not To caption. Who would it be rude to? Who?!

God I despise you all.