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conflicted

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Comments

  • #32
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    I agree with the poster who says you should use your solicitor to be the b'stard for you. That's their job. I'd be less sure about the new man legging it. He might be as opportunistic as your ex and like the idea of a free gaff.

    Your ex has saved herself a lot of money by living for free in your house. So don't be feeling guilty about that. And if you were of the belief that she could pay half the mortgage, she can't have been that short of money when you were together. Hopefully her not paying a penny has left her without a leg to stand on. You do need to act fast though. Who knows when loverboy will be moved in?


  • #33
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,717 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    ciarantpower wrote: »
    we were only living together for two years and had no children so legally she has no rights to the house under the current law.
    You need to speak to a solicitor to confirm this. The Civil Partnership and Certain Rights and Obligations of Cohabitants Act 2010 may say otherwise.


  • #34
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    ciarantpower wrote: »
    To be honest I don't know what i was thinking at the time and not to make a sob story out of it, this was the first relationship I had been in after my wife had died so maybe i had to high expectations of the relationship, I was brought up to be a good person and to always do the right thing, but the previous posters are right i was turned into a doormat, thanks so much to everyone for there replies it has really helped me a lot !!

    That makes it even worse. Sorry OP but your ex GF is a real piece of work. Preying on a guy who lost his wife. Makes me lose all hope in humanity.


  • #35
    groovyg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,049 ✭✭✭groovyg


    Op you have been a very nice person and I really hope this goes smoothly for you because she can easily overhold now when she gets notice that you want her to move out and that can take a long time. There are lots threads over in the accommodation and property forum with landlords and their tenants staying on in rentals and not paying the rent. You really need to find yourself a good solicitor and get legal advice about this.


  • #36
    Ms Doubtfire1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,422 ✭✭✭Ms Doubtfire1


    also keep in mind you will only be able to sell the house once empty unless you have a cash buyer. Banks usually don't give mortgages on houses when someone is still living/renting there.Get legal advice asap.


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  • #37
    Foxhound38
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    ciarantpower wrote: »
    I am looking for advice my girlfriend and I broke up over a year ago and I moved out of the house we shared, I own the house and pay all the mortgage on it my ex girlfriend was supposed to pay half the mortgage but I have not received any payment as of yet. I have recently found out that she has a new boyfriend. This has given me a wake up call that I am not moving on with my life and I really wish to do so and now feel that selling the house is the only way for me to move on the problem is that my ex has no money and her son is just starting college. I feel that I am a bad person to want to ask my ex to move out at such a time and I am really conflicted about doing this.

    OP, you're being taken for a mug by your ex - there is no two ways about it. I'm sorry to be blunt and I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but she's laughing at you and soon, you will be paying for her and her new boyfriend to live there.

    Her and her son are not your problem - especially given that she hasn't been keeping up her end of the bargain regarding mortgage payments (which was a frankly crazy deal to make with her given that you own the house anyway). You may feel that you have a responsibility to her (you don't), or that you are still close to her etc (if she was being a real friend to you she would not be taking you for such a mug), but basic self-respect demands that you get assertive here and do what you need to do to re-establish control over that house - YOUR OWN PROPERTY, get her out and sell up so that you can both move on with your life.

    You sound like a nice person, don't let yourself be used like this.


  • #38
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    No need to feel bad or callous OP. Quite the opposite. Not many people can say they split up with their ex, yet their provided them with a further 2yrs housing at no cost. That's a pretty good compensation package for a breakup - pardon the term - no matter what way you look at it.

    And also - assuming your ex has any common sense, she should now have a decent amount of savings from having 2yrs of no rent/mortgage to pay. Enough to put a good deposit down on a new place. 

    Either way, she is no longer your problem. There is NO need to feel guilty at all; she's the one who has been freeloading, and she has to be aware that this cannot continue indefinitely.


  • #39
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    OP you need to get professional legal advice before you do anything. You need to let the solicitor know how long you were living with your girlfriend in the house. If you were living together there for over 5 years she might be able to claim part of the house. She hasn't been paying the mortgage so that might go against her. However I am not qualified to comment, you need to go to a solicitor asap.


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