Co-worker taking pictures of me without permission

Ginkgogirl · 24-08-2017 10:04AM #1

I am in a bit of an awkward situation in my job which I have been in for a few months. Another girl started a month after me and as a result relied on me for getting to know where things were, using the printer etc. About 2 months after she started another colleague was leaving and she said she wanted to take a photo with her to remember her followed by to me 'i already have photos of you'. I nervously laughed (as did the rest of the office) saying what do you mean. She admitted she had taken a photo of me one day a month previously unbeknowst to me and said that she likes to look at it at evenings and weekends when she gets lonely. I had thought this was a once-off and didn't say anything in case it was due to cultural differences or settling in issues.
Fast forward 3 months and on Tuesday she left the office with me and while we were walking slid her hand down my arm and tried to hold my hand at which point I made excuses to walk in a different direction. Then yesterday she said a few times I looked very Beautiful and when everyone else went for lunch she stood up and pointed her phone to take a photo. I said no and covered my face and she continued to try even after i said no more harshly and eventually had to cover my head with my scarf until she stopped. I now feel so uncomfortable in the office around her not knowing how many photos she had taken or when she will try again. This is compounded by comments she has made to other co-workers about missing me while I am on lunch and talking about me constantly when I am out of office.

I was wondering if anyone had ever had a similar situation and how they proceeded as I don't feel she will listen and know she will react badly if I do report to her manager or the head of department- any advice would be appreciated.

runawaybishop · 24-08-2017 11:49AM

Tell her you are not interested and if she continues report to HR.

nkav86 · 24-08-2017 11:57AM

This is really odd!! I would suggest talking to her about it, but if as you say she will react badly then yes definitely go to your boss/hr about this. She sounds quite obsessive, and seems to be enamoured with you. Her actions go beyond a simple 'work crush'. This needs to be stopped and dealt with immediately and without any confusion.

LionelNashe · 24-08-2017 12:58PM

I'd say, document it, and report it to HR. Not so that they can take immediate action, necessarily, but so that it will be on the record if things escalate to outright stalking, or aggression.

gauchesnell · 24-08-2017 01:25PM

I have actually experienced this quite recently and I would strongly advise you to document everything and speak to HR. My own case was very similar but add to that I was also training the person daily. Like you the person made daily personal comments to me about personal life/appearance/religion etc. However the person I worked with could also not take training very well - i.e. from the outset told all staff they knew how to do the work even though they were never trained on it. Very difficult. They would also carry out work they hadnt been trained on - quite serious when dealing with cash etc. It was very bizarre situation.

I dont work with this person anymore thankfully as I requested a transfer but a lot of the behaviour I believe was down to cultural differences/also not knowing how to behave in a professional environment. I personally did end up going to HR in respect of this person as it was slowly moving towards creepy/aggressive behaviour. The person actually said to me once - did I have a problem with her. I didnt but I didnt enjoy personal comments about my appearance/personal life/etc etc on a daily basis. I also didnt want to join the religion she was part of (she asked me to come with her to a meeting)

I wasnt alone though...this member of staff behaved similarly to all the staff in the office I worked but was more extreme with me - possibly because I was very resistant to over familiar behaviour or any behaviour that made me feel uncomfortable. Again my former colleagues did agree that a lot of the weird behaviour was down to the person never having worked in a professional office setting before/not suited to working in an office. There was a lot of confusion between professional working relationships/colleagues and friendships.

Thats my advice - document and speak to HR.

Co-worker taking pictures of me without permission

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