Haven't touched a drop in...

adox · 20-04-2017 06:13PM

I gave up drink 16 years ago. I'm 50 now so was 34 and probably had over 20 years drinking by then

My health was the main reason, although it coinciding with taking out a mortgaged helped.

I could go out and have 4 or 5 pints and wake up with an almighty hangover or drink 3 times that and be ok the nwith still morning. When I got hangovers they were severe. Massive headaches and vomiting badly for at least a day. It was Russian Roulette when I went out drinking. No way to predict how I'd be the next day no matter how little or much I drank. It was a sacrifice I was willing to take when I was younger but the older I got the more tiring it got.

I was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer when I was 19 so that didn't help. Our social lives revolved totally around pubs and clubs. We would drink all weekend every weekend without fail and th occasional Monday or/and Thursday.

For the last couple of years I was occasionally vomiting blood and was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was also about 2 stone heavier than I am now, all from the drink.

Looking back, although I still don't think I had a drink problem and we certainly didn't think we had then, we(myself and my friends)drank huge amounts and spent so much time drinking, it's a little scary looking back. Saturday and Sunday would involve drinking from early afternoon until closing with a two hour break early evening for dinner/shower etc.

I'll never drink again. It just doesn't agree with me a lot of the time. I don't regret drinking at all, maybe should have given it up sooner. Had a blast drinking with my buddies and had some great and mad adventures but it took its toll on me physically and I'm glad I got out when I still had th choice.

Lady is a tramp · 20-04-2017 10:48PM

Amazingfun wrote: »

I know a ton of people, myself included, who were sent to treatment centers (one lady I know was in 18, lol) and counselors and the like, but still eventually ended up at the doors of AA. And they were the lucky ones tbh.

Most treatment centres will tell ya AA is what you need to survive on the outside world anyways! The treatment centres might sober you up, and get you going on a good path, but personally I believe an ongoing program such as AA is absolutely crucial when you're in the "real world" and facing very different challenges to those you face in a treatment centre - and with the scary prospect of alcohol being available everywhere; no protection like you have in the centres.

I'm racking up the admissions myself!

If I were to count them up ... Stanhope Centre once (almost finished program but didn't), also did a lot of out-patient work/counselling there. St Pats psychiatric hospital, multiple admissions, not sure how many. Finished the four-week program once, started it other times though. Cuan Mhuire Athy, did two twelve-week programs consecutively not long ago, so a twenty-four week program in total. Also spent a week in Cuan Mhuire Bruree. Now, the above doesn't include other out-patient addiction work I did, and also doesn't include various short-term admissions to various hospitals for various alcohol-related medical/psychiatric emergencies. I also attend Aftercare as much as I can, plus the odd Lifering meeting.

I think I'm (fingers and toes crossed) done with residential treatment forever though, AA is my focus these days.

If you can manage to get sobriety through AA without putting yourself through residential treatment - go for it! Plenty manage it. Those places, they serve a great purpose and I've gained so much from all of them in different ways, and met the most amazing people ... but at the same time, it's not exactly a barrel of laughs in there most of the time, and it's sad to add up how much of my life has been ... I won't say "wasted" in there, because personally I needed every minute of it ... but if I could have done it on my own (with the support of AA), that's absolutely the option I'd have gone for.

Life is too short, and just remember that the longer you're drinking, the more "trauma" and loss and chaos you'll end up having to recover from, when you do manage to stop.

You don't need to reach rock bottom - rock bottom is simply when you choose to stop digging.

Amazingfun · 21-04-2017 09:41PM

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

If you can manage to get sobriety through AA without putting yourself through residential treatment - go for it! Plenty manage it.

I did not get sober in a treatment centre of any variety, I was in one many years ago , (long before I returned to AA and meant business-)but it didn't help me much, tbh.
I haven't needed any outside services either. And this isn't "bragging", or me acting like some tough specimen. It's just that once I really got into the AA program, I found within it a beautiful way of life, that although often tough (as life is for everyone)-when practiced, really, really works.

I've loved following your journey lady, brilliant stuff (and a very impressive resume, btw

). Just so glad you found our Fellowship before it was too late.
We laugh and joke around a lot, (and there is lots to laugh about, let's face it, lol) but I take it very seriously in my heart as it really is about life and death for some of us. Your history will be of such help to others who've traveled that winding road. Thanks for sharing it ;-)

petes · 22-04-2017 04:51PM

For me and I'd say lots of others AA just reminded me of drinking. It came to a point where I stopped going and continued with counselling. That worked for me as I didn't have the constant reminder. I also didn't like the religious aspect and no matter how you dress it up by changing certain words etc. it's still there.

That's just my opinion.

I'm a firm believer of whatever works for the individual so if AA works for you then great. I do think that it doesn't really have a great success rate from my experience of it.

Hope alls well, haven't posted in here in a while ☺️

aabarnes1 · 22-04-2017 05:34PM

petes wrote: »

For me and I'd say lots of others AA just reminded me of drinking. It came to a point where I stopped going and continued with counselling. That worked for me as I didn't have the constant reminder. I also didn't like the religious aspect and no matter how you dress it up by changing certain words etc. it's still there.

That's just my opinion.

I'm a firm believer of whatever works for the individual so if AA works for you then great. I do think that it doesn't really have a great success rate from my experience of it.

Hope alls well, haven't posted in here in a while ☺️

I have to remind you, there is NO religious aspect to AA, you are completely incorrect to state this and put off potential newcomers.

Also the AA program has 100% success rate, it's the people that don't follow a few simple suggestions that fail.

If counselling worked for you, then it is unlikely you are an Alcoholic of the type described in the Big Book and have no business advising others on it.
Our program clearly states- 'NO HUMAN POWER could have relieved our alcoholism'. This includes counselors, self-help groups etc.

tinpib · 22-04-2017 05:52PM

The mods got involved when a big AA debate erupted on here a good few months ago, hope it doesn't happen again.

People can read through this thread and the links posted here and elsewhere and make up their own minds about what actions to take.

As Petes says what is important is what works for you.

aabarnes1 · 22-04-2017 06:07PM

tinpib wrote: »

The mods got involved when a big AA debate erupted on here a good few months ago, hope it doesn't happen again.

People can read through this thread and the links posted here and elsewhere and make up their own minds about what actions to take.

As Petes says what is important is what works for you.

Thanks for your advice.
I just find it hard to allow people to relay wrong info in relation to AA.
I owe my life to the program and fellowship.

petes · 22-04-2017 09:16PM

aabarnes1 wrote: »

I have to remind you, there is NO religious aspect to AA, you are completely incorrect to state this and put off potential newcomers.

Also the AA program has 100% success rate, it's the people that don't follow a few simple suggestions that fail.

If counselling worked for you, then it is unlikely you are an Alcoholic of the type described in the Big Book and have no business advising others on it.
Our program clearly states- 'NO HUMAN POWER could have relieved our alcoholism'. This includes counselors, self-help groups etc.

Seriously this is the type of ****e I don't like about AA, preaching. God as you understand him etc, and if I'm not mistaken isn't there some sort of prayer at the end..... Who is that to?

I've been to a lot of AA meetings and my experience good or bad is just as valid as yours.

I went to an addiction counsellor if you must know, thanks for belittling my struggle. Your last line is hilarious, no self-help groups? What do you think AA is?

It also doesn't have a 100% success rate and if you believe that you are and idiot.

It's people like you that put people off AA and not people giving their honest opinion of it. It didn't work for me but that doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.

If someone can find sobriety in the rooms that's what it's all about.

Anyway I'm not going to reply to you again. Sort your anger issues out!

......... · 22-04-2017 09:40PM

We don't come here to watch people obsessed by religion fight about it or push other pro or anti agendas. So cut it out.
Some people find the AA to be brilliant, other people find other ways they find work for them.
The important thing is finding what works for you, and celebrating and supporting other peoples success as well as your own.

realdanbreen · 22-04-2017 11:53PM

......... wrote: »

We don't come here to watch people obsessed by religion fight about it or push other pro or anti agendas. So cut it out.
Some people find the AA to be brilliant, other people find other ways they find work for them.
The important thing is finding what works for you, and celebrating and supporting other peoples success as well as your own.

Oh I dunno, a good fight now and again livens things up! As for counsellors I went to one years ago and one only and once and once only. A fella in a brown corduroy pants and wearing his glasses on his head. He didn't smile once during the 45 minute session-although maybe briefly when I handed him £80 at the end of the session. I got the impression that he saw me as a long term project that was going to just keep giving him cash . That said some guys find counsellors the way to go, each to his own I guess.

aabarnes1 · 23-04-2017 07:19AM

petes wrote: »

Seriously this is the type of ****e I don't like about AA, preaching. God as you understand him etc, and if I'm not mistaken isn't there some sort of prayer at the end..... Who is that to?

I've been to a lot of AA meetings and my experience good or bad is just as valid as yours.

I went to an addiction counsellor if you must know, thanks for belittling my struggle. Your last line is hilarious, no self-help groups? What do you think AA is?

It also doesn't have a 100% success rate and if you believe that you are and idiot.

It's people like you that put people off AA and not people giving their honest opinion of it. It didn't work for me but that doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.

If someone can find sobriety in the rooms that's what it's all about.

Anyway I'm not going to reply to you again. Sort your anger issues out!

You are so wrong and deluded I feel sorry for you.

In fact I shall pray for you, just out out of interest, what religion did they preach at the AA meetings you went to?
I am in AA since 2000 and never heard any religion being preached.

AA is not a self help group, if you believe that, then it is you that is the idiot.
It is a spiritual program, that's where the help comes from.

aabarnes1 · 23-04-2017 07:21AM

......... wrote: »

We don't come here to watch people obsessed by religion fight about it or push other pro or anti agendas. So cut it out.
Some people find the AA to be brilliant, other people find other ways they find work for them.
The important thing is finding what works for you, and celebrating and supporting other peoples success as well as your own.

Just to ratify, I am not part of any religion, no do I advocate any religion of any kind.

petes · 23-04-2017 08:06AM

aabarnes1 wrote: »

You are so wrong and deluded I feel sorry for you.

In fact I shall pray for you, just out out of interest, what religion did they preach at the AA meetings you went to?
I am in AA since 2000 and never heard any religion being preached.

AA is not a self help group, if you believe that, then it is you that is the idiot.
It is a spiritual program, that's where the help comes from.

I didn't say they preached at AA, I said you were preaching. AA is group therapy at the end of the day!

Can you answer my question, is there a prayer at the end of an AA meeting? Who is it to?

If it's worked for you great but saying that someone isn't an alcoholic because AA isn't for them is deluded and stinks of holier than thou attitude!

aabarnes1 · 23-04-2017 08:43AM

Quote" I also didn't like the religious aspect and no matter how you dress it up by changing certain words etc. it's still there. " unquote.

As I said, you are incorrect, there is no Religious aspect to AA.It is a spiritual program. Perhaps you should Google it.

At the end of most, not all, meetings the Serenity (recovery) prayer and the Lord's Prayer (the Our Father) are said for 'those who wish to join in'.

Like putting money in the basket- it's optional to say these prayers.

personally I say the serenity prayer but abstain from the Our Father.

You are quite correct to state that the AA program, in part, is group therapy, but that's a far cry from self-help. The key words her being 'group' and ' self'.
Meetings are only a small part of the AA way of recovery, but then again I am confident you know all about that.

marienbad · 23-04-2017 11:50AM

Lads and Lassies ,lets not fight , we are all on a journey and we all have something to offer both from our successes and failures .

Lets just learn and offer support to each other as best we can .

Laeot · 23-04-2017 03:36PM

Back on topic ...

403 days

Glen_Quagmire · 24-04-2017 09:17PM

Ok so I was away last weekend and drank on the Friday and Saturday. I had one of the best weekends I've had in a long time, there is no way I could have resisted alcohol, it was a focal part of the weekend. There is no way I would of had the same fun without the alcohol.

This is where I have my difficulties. On one hand, weekends like that one are such a joy and makes life fun but then on the other hand I have weekends like the one previous where I go over the top and it's a pure disaster and make me realise how bad drinking is for my health and wellbeing.

I plan on staying off it this weekend and hopefully a few weeks more at least but I have a wedding coming up in a few weeks and then my holidays and I just don't see how I could last on a holiday without touching a beer.

realdanbreen · 25-04-2017 09:10AM

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

Ok so I was away last weekend and drank on the Friday and Saturday. I had one of the best weekends I've had in a long time, there is no way I could have resisted alcohol, it was a focal part of the weekend. There is no way I would of had the same fun without the alcohol.

This is where I have my difficulties. On one hand, weekends like that one are such a joy and makes life fun but then on the other hand I have weekends like the one previous where I go over the top and it's a pure disaster and make me realise how bad drinking is for my health and wellbeing.

I plan on staying off it this weekend and hopefully a few weeks more at least but I have a wedding coming up in a few weeks and then my holidays and I just don't see how I could last on a holiday without touching a beer.

I like probably everyone here loved drink and loved drinking. I loved skipping down the street on a Friday evening, all dolled up, money in the pocket, all prepared for a long evenings drinking and whatever came with it. I loved the taste, the smokey pubs, everything about drinking. However, and unfortunately there was a however, the sunny evenings and the few sociable few pints with good friends and family gave way to dark and desperate days. Thank God(and if God isn't your thing thank whatever) it's been a while since I lost jobs, crashed cars while pissed, was involved in fist fights, woke up in lathers of sweat, puking down my shirt in an early house, saw the look of contempt in the faces of loved ones.

Glen_Quagmire · 25-04-2017 10:20AM

realdanbreen wrote:

I like probably everyone here loved drink and loved drinking. I loved skipping down the street on a Friday evening, all dolled up, money in the pocket, all prepared for a long evenings drinking and whatever came with it. I loved the taste, the smokey pubs, everything about drinking. However, and unfortunately there was a however, the sunny evenings and the few sociable few pints with good friends and family gave way to dark and desperate days. Thank God(and if God isn't your thing thank whatever) it's been a while since I lost jobs, crashed cars while pissed, was involved in fist fights, woke up in lathers of sweat, puking down my shirt in an early house, saw the look of contempt in the faces of loved ones.

I hear you, I'm not for one second saying I am different to anyone else on here I am sure everyone enjoyed it as much as I do and had the same or harder battles giving it up.

How long have you been off it and how did you manage to do stay away from it once you decided to quit?

......... · 25-04-2017 06:00PM

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

Ok so I was away last weekend and drank on the Friday and Saturday. I had one of the best weekends I've had in a long time, there is no way I could have resisted alcohol, it was a focal part of the weekend. There is no way I would of had the same fun without the alcohol.

This is where I have my difficulties. On one hand, weekends like that one are such a joy and makes life fun but then on the other hand I have weekends like the one previous where I go over the top and it's a pure disaster and make me realise how bad drinking is for my health and wellbeing.

I plan on staying off it this weekend and hopefully a few weeks more at least but I have a wedding coming up in a few weeks and then my holidays and I just don't see how I could last on a holiday without touching a beer.

I used to feel the same way, but Alcohol is a drug, so of course it's going to give you a type of high when you use it, and a high you will crave, but that always comes at a cost and payback. How much shyte can drunk people talk anyway that is actually in any way original and/or useful? I eventually realised a lot of the 'friends' I liked socialising, I really had nothing in common with, other than they also liked using alcohol when socialising and stretching it's use as far as possible. I slowly evolved my socialising to talking to more sober people and didn't bother with drink, and now I don't have to touch a drop when socialising, and finally, I don't crave it in the slightest anymore, and enjoy my nights out and weddings as much, if not more, than I ever did (something I thought would never be as good without booze), and feel physically and mentally 10 times better for it. If you look, you'll find plenty of people at weddings and nights out that are not drinking or just a little, and are just as much craic if you also make the effort. That's not to say you have to avoid people who are drinking in the first few hours of your night out, you don't, far from it. But later on in the night the drinkers and the drink all go downhill . . .

realdanbreen · 25-04-2017 07:27PM

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

I hear you, I'm not for one second saying I am different to anyone else on here I am sure everyone enjoyed it as much as I do and had the same or harder battles giving it up.

How long have you been off it and how did you manage to do stay away from it once you decided to quit?

To say that I 'decided to quit' is probably stretching it a bit. I was under all sorts of pressure at the time, job lost, money owed everywhere, hassle all round. So when a family member got a man from the AA to call round and have a few words with me I went along for peace sake. After 10 minutes speaking with him I knew this was a guy I could relate to and when he said he was bringing me to a meeting I said fine 'give me a shout next week'. No he said we are going now and before I knew where I was I was at my first AA meeting. Now as AA members go I wouldn't be the best at attending meetings or doing the 12 steps but it certainly put me on the road to stop drinking.
I met all sorts of people there, some that I would get on with, some that bar the booze I had nothing in common with, some who were fierce enthusiastic members and some who had come to have AA meetings as their main social outlet. But all had one thing in common and that was a desire to stop drinking.

petes · 25-04-2017 07:35PM

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

I plan on staying off it this weekend and hopefully a few weeks more at least but I have a wedding coming up in a few weeks and then my holidays and I just don't see how I could last on a holiday without touching a beer.

This is the crux of it. You are always going to have something on. Any chance there might be a part of you using the upcoming events as a reason to keep drinking? Don't mean to be blunt but that's how it comes across to me

Glen_Quagmire · 25-04-2017 08:04PM

I've been having a look around on the Internet just looking at how to stop cravings etc and came across a decent website www. rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/

It has a section called "Planning for a Changeâ€œ where you can fill out a form and email it to yourself. On the form you fill out your reasons for quiting, strategies to help you, potential road blocks and how to overcome them.

I filled it out and I actually had about 30 reasons for quitting and some where quite serious when you look at them on paper. I am hoping looking at the completed form that I now have emailed to myself will help me resist the inevitable cravings when they present themselves.

I'm a really serious about quitting but I just have so much doubt I am capable of doing it. For example I have 5 bottles of beer in the fridge and I have been trying to convince myself all day to pour them down the sink but I know come Friday I will be craving a beer to chill out on the couch and will regret pouring them out and wasting money as I'll probably buy more.

I'm gonna have some serious inner battles with myself, I can feel it already and it's only Tuesday!!!!

Glen_Quagmire · 25-04-2017 08:11PM

petes wrote:

This is the crux of it. You are always going to have something on. Any chance there might be a part of you using the upcoming events as a reason to keep drinking? Don't mean to be blunt but that's how it comes across to me

Yep you could be right there. I have thought to myself, ah sure you're not going to resist a few beers on holiday so you may aswel just continue drinking lightly here and there up the holiday and then try stop after it.

But we all know something else will be on the agenda after the holidays and I'll have the same magic plan and then it will be Christmas etc etc

......... · 25-04-2017 09:13PM

nothing scientific, but for me the craving only left my body/cells once i'd been off drink for months. I can't stand the taste, sight or even smell of the poison now, much like years ago when I was teenager, before I polluted my system with the stuff. A return of sorts to those decent days of innocence . . which I'm very grateful for.

bikubesong · 25-04-2017 10:07PM

......... wrote: »

nothing scientific, but for me the craving only left my body/cells once i'd been off drink for months. I can't stand the taste, sight or even smell of the poison now, much like years ago when I was teenager, before I polluted my system with the stuff.

This. Funny, I only noticed recently how my senses have turned away from drink. My friend was telling me about some pub she went to where they served gin in teapots and the thought of it physically turned my stomach, I could imagine the smell and taste and it actually repulsed me. Coming from a gal who could fairly put away the gin & tonics not so long ago!

217 days for me.

Glen_Quagmire · 26-04-2017 05:58AM

......... wrote:

nothing scientific, but for me the craving only left my body/cells once i'd been off drink for months. I can't stand the taste, sight or even smell of the poison now, much like years ago when I was teenager, before I polluted my system with the stuff. A return of sorts to those decent days of innocence . . which I'm very grateful for.

How did you fight the cravings for all those months?

lufties · 26-04-2017 07:55AM

bikubesong wrote: »

This. Funny, I only noticed recently how my senses have turned away from drink. My friend was telling me about some pub she went to where they served gin in teapots and the thought of it physically turned my stomach, I could imagine the smell and taste and it actually repulsed me. Coming from a gal who could fairly put away the gin & tonics not so long ago!

217 days for me.

I'm close to 3 months off the booze, 217 days is really good..when did you stop even thinking about drimk?

petes · 26-04-2017 09:42AM

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

How did you fight the cravings for all those months?

You'll have to change a lot of things. I moved home! Your environment has a lot to do with it. You'll need to keep busy, take up a sport or hobby etc.

I went through withdrawals from a Thursday to a Sunday, back to work Monday*, was feeling okay on the Tuesday and thought of drinking. The withdrawal was horrendous and yet when I was physically okay I was tempted. I mentioned here before that we have very bad memories.

I think what works is not to remember how bad you were or the stupid things you did if you are tempted but to look forward and not backwards. What will happen etc.

*The withdrawal takes a lot longer than that. I was worse for wear for about to weeks but nothing compared to the first couple of days.

......... · 26-04-2017 06:25PM

Glen_Quagmire wrote: »

How did you fight the cravings for all those months?

It was very hard, especially at the start. The first weeks / months were the worst. My body and mind continually came up with a thousand and one 'clever' excuses/justifications as to why just another one or two 'this time' would be ok, until I 'gave up properly'. I'd fallen for that too many times though. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again,using the same excuses, and expecting a different result. There was always some excuse for me to delay giving up properly. . somebody home on hols, a wedding, an occasion of some type, or just just a drink or two with a meal . . .or some after a hard weeks work. The cells in your body / brain, will come up with everything and anything to get even just a little bit of alcohol into the system. . . and then the vicious circle continues. This time I just point blank refused myself alcohol, no matter what the situation or excuse. I made sure if I couldn't avoid a trigger event / occasion, I would ensure I only spent an hour or two at them max, i.e. The first couple of hours before people drinking end up on a different tangent to those that don't. The first few hours are always the best hours of any night / occasion anyway. I also made sure that when a craving came on at home or elsewhere, I'd be sure to immediately fill my mind and keep myself very busy with something else. The best of all is to try and find a healthy addiction to replace a poor one and crowd it out, it's better than just trying to drive it out. For me, if I couldn't strangle the craving as soon as it appeared, I crowded out the craving by doing something else. (I also found the daily pioneers prayer, and taking the year long temporary pledge, a very helpful preventative and strengthening measure, but of course that's not for everyone.) After 6 months the cravings are finally gone. I feel mentally and physically 15-20 years younger, and thank God in heaven, even the sight, smell and thought of alcohol now actually repulses me. Quite the turnaround for someone who thought for years there was little point in being sober if you didn't absolutely have to. I was always the very last person to leave a bar and the last person left drinking anywhere I went.

Haven't touched a drop in...

Comments