I wish to get into self defense but unsure which one

NotAPhoney wrote: »

(with threats, beatings etc.. I've taken quite a lot of beatings and they are getting more frequent)

Feck. Sounds like you could do with studying situational awareness with a minor in getting dafuq out of there.

Where are you hanging out, where are the beatings happening? I'm 36, from Kildare, and I've never taken a beating.

For you to have taken several, and for them to be happening more frequently, would be fairly unusual.

Re what martial art, the idea of using somebody's attack against them is, IMO, commonly mis stated. The best thing to learn would be to strike, so boxing, kickboxing, muay Thai.

However, that only deals with the act of stopping an aggressor in isolation. Given what you've described in your op (and assuming your not trolling) you need to look at the areas you are frequenting, and your awareness of people/situation there.

You don't say if it is the same person or people attacking you. If this is the case, I would strongly suggest you speak to the gardai

Sorry, you're going to have to be clearer about the situation. Are your friends beating you up?

If your in Kildare there are many martial arts clubs available if you are looking for self defence as you said you need to learn how to fight.

As was pointed out situational awareness if your 24 and getting beaten up on a regular basis either call the Gardai or do not go to the places where this is happening or be around these people. I understand they are your friends but if your getting beaten up they might not be or at least consider making new friends. If for whatever reason this is not possible then I will try offer some advice.

Step one of self defence dont be there.

Second get fit I dont mean body building but get strong and learn to run and sprint your not going to get into a fight if you cant get caught.

Third learn or read up on de-escalating a situation aka talking it out. I have avoided a few fights from just talking to people or letting them insult me it is just words after all.

If you are set of learning a martial art then find a club that teaches something with actual full contact sparring and learn some grappling I would as others above recommend kickboxing, boxing, muay thai, judo, mma or BJJ. There are a good few clubs in Kildare to learn these. It just depends where you are based.

Most of the stuff in movies like using your opponents power against them etc are usually bull or misinterpreted it can be done like someone charging onto your punch or into a hip toss. But also if your attacker clocks you in the back of the head its not much use to you.

Also self defence often needs to be proactive you can sometimes avoid a conflict by throwing the first shot.

From the sounds of it your issue is with groups of people and no matter how well you fight you wont be able to out fight a group even with years of training.

Final note if you do learn to fight you may end up painting a target on your back if / when you win a fight especially if your hanging out with groups of these people mates of mates / family etc may jump in or jump you later down the line.

Anyways best of luck with it feel free to drop me a pm if you want OP.

Sounds to me like you are in a big big group of friends, many are not really your friends but they are friends with your real friends, who you don't want to lose... its like a little community and there are altercations between the various 'factions' within this group.

This sound about right?

If this is the case then learning a MA is not the answer. You need to just walk away and find new friends or just talk to your real mates and explain that you are sick of the **** and you like them, but not the gang. You're 24 and if they cant accept that then they aren't friends.

I do however think that learning an MA would be very beneficial to you though. The reason being if you have confidence in yourself, you tend to exude that confidence in your demeanor and stance/ manner, and this in itself is a massive deterrent to people deciding if you are a target.

I used to get bullied a lot when I was in school because I lacked confidence and I was in a situation no dissimilar to what I described above. I trained in MA's to defend myself but it was pointless as I didn't have the confidence to do anything and its hard to change someones view that you are weak once its been established... it's always best to fight like hell in the beginning, even if you take a beating as at least you are not seen as a pushover.

It was only when I finished school, left my family home and started afresh away from everyone, that I found my confidence. Once I had this, then I walked away from the 'mates' who weren't really mates and stuck with those who were true friends. I have since done a fair few MA's (Judo, MT, MMA and BJJ) and I can say hand on heart I never get in any bother because I hold myself in a manner that exudes confidence in my ability to KTFO anyone who tries anything on... I don't go about threatening or scowling, I am simply confident in myself.

That's my advice anyhow and hope it helps :-)

RoboRat wrote: »

Sounds to me ... its like a little community and there are altercations between the various 'factions' within this group.
...

If this is the case then learning a MA is not the answer.

I've summarised RoboRat's reply just to highlight his key point which is absolutely hitting the nail on its head. You don't need to learn how to fight, you need to learn how not to get into a fight, and the nub of that skill is to develop your own confidence. Take up cycling, take up running, take up canoeing, or any physical sport and your confidence can grow to the point where others see it and their respect for you grows proportionately. If sport isn't your thing then develop public speaking skills, develop singing or music ability, but don't expect to take a weekend class in a martial art and then be able to use an attacker's strength against themselves . . . . that's a level of MA skill which takes years if not decades to attain to the point where you can reliably use it.

But sure, take up a martial art by all means. It's good for you in many ways, but know before you start that the solution to your problem can't be found in a good roundhouse kick.

Just like Blackthorn said. As an example from bjj, if i sweep my opponent, its because ive felt him in a position where he is unbalanced, and experience (lots and lots of practice) tell me if I push or pull him in a certain direction, I can sweep, escape, end up on top.

This is using an opponents body, momentum and sometimes strength against him, but there is still a moderate to high degree of skill, athleticism, power and strength required from me, if not to execute the actual sweep, then at least to control and manoeuvre my opponent so that the sweep presents itself.

Would this be easier to achieve on an untrained opponent? Yes, provided most of your training is against trained opponents.

It is not Steven Segal in Under Seige flipping 200lb men with a simple flick of his wrist, nor is it the youtube aikido guy, or whoever, flowing around a matted area deftly flicking multiple opponents through somersaults with the lightest of touches to the wrist, elbow, shoulder or neck.

Controlling a fully grown resisting man is not something that is easy to do, as anybody who has tried a grappling art can attest to