How come Tinder is so difficult?

Goya · 07-12-2016 10:35PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Its a matter of taste, not dishonesty. This notion that makeup (even a little bit) is definitely an improvement is ridiculous.

so many people are so quick to go 'ohh you mean slapped on with a trowel' , obviously that's awful, nobody likes that. But myself and at least one other poster in here have said we prefer none/0/absoloutely not a thing and have just been told 'nah thats lies' 'no way' 'not being honest' Obviously advertising has worked very well since not a single woman has come along to say 'yeah, a woman can look better without any makeup'

I cannot believe you would never ever fancy a woman wearing a little make-up or that you would always, no matter what the circumstances, prefer no make-up to a tiny bit. I receive far more attention from men when I am wearing make-up (and I wear very little - mascara and a tiny bit of eye pencil is all, I prefer to keep it as limited as I can because I do agree mostly natural looks nicer) so it's not just advertising doing its job.

Saying a woman who wears make-up and curve enhancing underwear is out to deceive (rather than just wanting to look good, the way men dress to look good) is just one of numerous bizarre hostile things towards women I read on this site. Mostly a grand friendly site but there is a loud minority that seem to have issues!

It discredits men too seeing as they're hardly stupid enough to be unable to recognise that a woman is wearing make-up/tights/a push-up bra.

The idea of a woman wearing no make-up ever is a nice one but it's just grooming - not something to be so hostile towards.

eeguy · 07-12-2016 10:35PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I know plenty of women who aren't a bit bothered with makeup. You're entitled to find whatever floats your boat attractive, but speak for yourself and not the entire male population. I find tall guys with no body hair, wide shoulders and huge arms with no stubble and a strong jawline attractive, a stylish guy who takes care of himself.

I wouldn't have any interest in a manchild with a beer belly, a hairy chest, a collection of sports jerseys and tiny little arms that wouldn't swat a fly. However, I know a lot of women love a man with a hairy chest.

Different people find different attributes attractive.

Absolutely this. People like different things.

If a woman wants a tall, built guy, she's not automatically shallow and looks oriented.
If a guy wants a girl that doesn't wear makeup it doesn't give him carte blanche to say women who wear makeup are insecure.

We live in a very aesthetic time, where being fit and healthy is seen as fashionable. That's just the way it is, you can rebel about it all you want but it's not going to change overnight. Same with flares in the 60's and skinny jeans now. It's just a fashion.

So you can either embrace it, hit the gym, get active, get fit and be more of what is currently seen as the "ideal", or just don't.
But don't knock down people who want to go for it. People who go to the gym aren't automatically boring and vacuous, as one poster said. Sure you could say the same about someone who loves fishing, or gaming.

If Tinder doesn't work for you then don't use it, get out and date the old fashioned way.

One eyed Jack · 07-12-2016 10:38PM

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

I seriously doubt that you would have received less attention if you wore less makeup. Men aren't fussy at all.

Speak for yourself there horse :pac:

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

There is a thin line between accentuating female beauty and hiding it under a layer of chemicals.

That'll be the thin line that only exists in your mind given that you're presenting it as an either/or scenario and presenting it in reductionist terms as "a layer of chemicals". Your skin is also "a layer of chemicals" if you wanted to be even more reductionist about it.

The whole "makeup / no makeup" thing is just another arbitrary going nowhere argument as it's simply a matter of individuals taste and very much dependent upon a multitude of other factors rather than being able to distill it down to "one reason / one look fits all" nonsense.

07-12-2016 10:41PM

bluewolf wrote: »

Between that and your man with his "how dare women have some self confidence and be in any way picky", I don't even

We don't live in a vacuum. Short men suffer the punishment of sexual frustration and self-hatrid as the price for womens' "getting to be" picky (read: universally discounting without consideration all short men). Obviously women act according to their nature, they can't be condemned for that - but don't pretend there isn't a lot of unhappiness going on behind closed doors in the minds of short men as a consequence of womens' nature being the way it is. Men dismissing overweight girls, while unfortunate, at least doesn't rob an them of all hope that things might improve for them in the future - the same isn't the case for a short man hearing girls declare, almost relishing it, that they just "can't help being attracted to only tall men and how dare short men have the audacity to be unhappy about this situation". If a woman simply doesn't care about how short men feel as a result of their dogged aversion to short men, fair enough - but she should at least have the courtesy to give short men the satisfaction of knowing that she acknowledges the consequences of her and most other womens' attitudes and that she is callous.

Eric Cartman · 07-12-2016 10:43PM

Flimpson wrote: »

I cannot believe you would never ever fancy a woman wearing a little make-up or that you would always, no matter what the circumstances, prefer no make-up to barefaced. I receive far more attention from men when I am wearing make-up (and I wear very little - mascara and a tiny bit of eye pencil is all, I prefer to keep it as limited as I can because I do agree mostly natural looks nicer) so it's not just advertising doing its job.

Saying a woman who wears make-up and curve enhancing underwear is out to deceive (rather than just wanting to look good, the way men dress to look good) is just one of numerous bizarre hostile things towards women I read on this site. Mostly a grand friendly site but there is a loud minority that seem to have issues!

It discredits men too seeing as they're hardly stupid enough to be unable to recognise that a woman is wearing make-up/tights/a push-up bra.

The idea of a woman wearing no make-up ever is a nice one but it's just grooming - not something to be so hostile towards.

why is it so hard to believe ?

Goya · 07-12-2016 10:49PM

When short men are unhappy about being short reducing their chances of sex/romance, that sucks for them and I wish life was not like that for them. Comparing them to fat women is not comparing like with like either, as excess weight can be lost (difficult, but possible) and height cannot be changed.

If a woman is a bitch to a man because he's short, he's dead right to give her hell back, but if a short man is resentful and hostile towards women just for not fancying him, well the reason for this is obvious but there is no excuse whatsoever. Absolutely none. But it's where a lot of hostility towards women stems from - particularly on the internet (I don't encounter it offline at all).

Jimmy Garlic · 07-12-2016 10:52PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Speak for yourself there horse :pac:
That'll be the thin line that only exists in your mind given that you're presenting it as an either/or scenario and presenting it in reductionist terms as "a layer of chemicals". Your skin is also "a layer of chemicals" if you wanted to be even more reductionist about it.

The whole "makeup / no makeup" thing is just another arbitrary going nowhere argument as it's simply a matter of individuals taste and very much dependent upon a multitude of other factors rather than being able to distill it down to "one reason / one look fits all" nonsense.

I said subtle, subtle is good, subtle is what most men prefer. If Panti Bliss levels of makeup application on women is your thing then you are in a very small minority buster. There are a lot of young wans going around looking like Panti Bliss dipped in bisto.. What man finds that attractive?

07-12-2016 10:57PM

Flimpson wrote: »

When short men are unhappy about being short reducing their chances of sex/romance, that sucks for them and I wish life was not like that for them. Comparing them to fat women is not comparing like with like either, as excess weight can be lost (difficult, but possible) and height cannot be changed.

If a woman is a bitch to a man because he's short, he's dead right to give her hell back, but if a short man is resentful and hostile towards women just for not fancying him, well the reason for this is obvious but there is no excuse whatsoever. Absolutely none. But it's where a lot of hostility towards women stems from - particularly on the internet (I don't encounter it offline at all).

Oh I agree - I would never and have never got annoyed or angry at a girl for saying I was too short on a night out (has happened), because I assume in the first place that she might be thinking that. It's more having it confirmed to you that is just depressing in the most literal sense, like it crushes your spirit when you're out, especially when you see lads with not many other redeeming features than their height able to have way more elbow room than me when it comes to having flaws while trying to attract women - when people dismiss with contempt what I'm thinking, feeling, seeing with my own eyes it's like "okay, so nto only do women almost never fancy me over the taller guys, but those same women are disgusted at me for noticing this and not being happy about the situation".

07-12-2016 10:57PM

Deleted User wrote: »

We don't live in a vacuum. Short men suffer the punishment of sexual frustration and self-hatrid as the price for womens' "getting to be" picky (read: universally discounting without consideration all short men). Obviously women act according to their nature, they can't be condemned for that - but don't pretend there isn't a lot of unhappiness going on behind closed doors in the minds of short men as a consequence of womens' nature being the way it is. Men dismissing overweight girls, while unfortunate, at least doesn't rob an them of all hope that things might improve for them in the future - the same isn't the case for a short man hearing girls declare, almost relishing it, that they just "can't help being attracted to only tall men and how dare short men have the audacity to be unhappy about this situation". If a woman simply doesn't care about how short men feel as a result of their dogged aversion to short men, fair enough - but she should at least have the courtesy to give short men the satisfaction of knowing that she acknowledges the consequences of her and most other womens' attitudes and that she is callous.

So women, who don't even know you, should take responsibility for you being upset they're not attracted to you.

Jesus.

Newsflash: women don't owe you a damn thing. Not attraction, not an 'acknowledgement of the consequences' of her not being attracted to you. Women at large are not responsible for your happiness. It is not those callous women's fault that you're upset they don't fancy you.

As for the make up and deception thing...it's hard to believe people are actually serious with that stuff, you'd have to be seriously insecure to object to a bit of eyeliner or consider it fraud.

One eyed Jack · 07-12-2016 11:02PM

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

I said subtle, subtle is good, subtle is what most men prefer. If Panti Bliss levels of makeup application on women is your thing then you are in a very small minority buster. There are a lot of young wans going around looking like Panti Bliss dipped in bisto.. What man finds that attractive?

****ed if I know, I haven't taken a survey of all heterosexual men's opinion on what they do and don't find attractive in women. The only thing I do know however is that there's enough diversity among women that there probably is at least one man out there who would find the image of a bisto dipped Panti Bliss attractive!!

Not me though, *shudders*, cheers for that mental image

:pac:

Kal El · 07-12-2016 11:02PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

Gel, haircut, cutting their nails, clearing their ear wax, shaving, aftershave!

Wiping your ass!!

Where is the line drawn between being insecure and wanting to modify your body to rid of certain insecurities and taking pride in your appearance which requires you to be out of your natural state!

Or is it just a sexist thing about women and the culture of makeup!

I assume it be similar to the way women arent wholly attracted to over manicured guys or six pack adonis. Obviously some are but Ive heard it said about those guys that they are all insecure "this came from a girl"

Kal El · 07-12-2016 11:07PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

If you are into the gym or wear tights, fk off and don't approach me! I just had a shower and applied my hair gel and done some sit ups!

Officially back in the top 1% !!!!!!!!!!!!! Result!

Logs onto Tinder.............40 Matches! Seeya later, I'm calling a girl over for sex!

Youve pretty much through a dig at 4 people here. Im sorry not everyone has the same life as you. People are allowed to have a different view to life than you. Im sorry if youve never been able to get a girl/guy over for sex :rolleyes:

zulutango · 07-12-2016 11:09PM

I've had many good relationships, some short and sweet, others longer. I value them all. The girls who were into make-up tended to be more insecure. The argument that make up is about expression is grand, and there might be something in that, but to say that a lot of women are not insecure about their looks (and hence resort to make-up) is stretching things. (A lot of men are also insecure about their looks but it manifests differently.) I don't blame women for this insecurity because it's really not their fault. There is so much pressure to look at certain way, and if you don't you're not good enough. I see my nieces going through hell as teenagers, suffering depression, bullying, self-harming, etc., because of this pressure, and the great promise in the women's magazines is that you will be worthy if you just cover over your blemishes. Can anybody here really disagree with that?

How do the women here feel about breast implants? Do women get them because they are insecure about their bodies or is there another reason?

Kal El · 07-12-2016 11:12PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Its a matter of taste, not dishonesty. This notion that makeup (even a little bit) is definitely an improvement is ridiculous.

so many people are so quick to go 'ohh you mean slapped on with a trowel' , obviously that's awful, nobody likes that. But myself and at least one other poster in here have said we prefer none/0/absoloutely not a thing and have just been told 'nah thats lies' 'no way' 'not being honest' Obviously advertising has worked very well since not a single woman has come along to say 'yeah, a woman can look better without any makeup'

I dont agree with your taste buddy, a bit of makeup never hurt anyone. But I feel people are getting into a bit of a huff over you having a different taste. I dont see why people try force everyone to find the same people attractive.

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I know plenty of women who aren't a bit bothered with makeup. You're entitled to find whatever floats your boat attractive, but speak for yourself and not the entire male population. I find tall guys with no body hair, wide shoulders and huge arms with no stubble and a strong jawline attractive, a stylish guy who takes care of himself.

I wouldn't have any interest in a manchild with a beer belly, a hairy chest, a collection of sports jerseys and tiny little arms that wouldn't swat a fly. However, I know a lot of women love a man with a hairy chest.

Different people find different attributes attractive.

I never found the poster above was talking about the male population. If its another poster then my bad

Goya · 07-12-2016 11:18PM

All this psychoanalysis about insecurity and deception - whatever happened to just wanting to look nice?!

I know there are women who cake themselves in an inch of make-up to hide their skin because they're misfortunate enough to have acne, and women who spend hours grooming and fret about the most inconsequential shyte like eyebrows, but what about the rest of us?

On the male height thing too - I wasn't aware 5ft 11 was considered short?

07-12-2016 11:21PM

Flimpson wrote: »

On the male height thing too - I wasn't aware 5ft 11 was considered short?

I wouldn't consider it to be... or 5'10 .. even 5'9 is not that short - Conor McGregor is about this height (maybe even half an inch shorter) and he is able to look proportional and good. I think 5'9 on the dot to 5'7 is a big jump.

zulutango · 07-12-2016 11:21PM

Flimpson wrote: »

All this psychoanalysis about insecurity and deception - whatever happened to just wanting to look nice?!

Do you look less nice without make-up?

Surreptitious · 07-12-2016 11:21PM

Flimpson wrote: »

All this psychoanalysis about insecurity and deception - whatever happened to just wanting to look nice?!

I know there are women who cake themselves in an inch of make-up to hide their skin because they're misfortunate enough to have acne, and women who spend hours grooming and fret about the most inconsequential shyte like eyebrows, but what about the rest of us?

On the male height thing too - I wasn't aware 5ft 11 was considered short?

I think he's 5 ft 7 which is not short either. I also think different people like different things. No point judging others on how much make up they wear or whatever, sure we all have faults.

Goya · 07-12-2016 11:25PM

zulutango wrote: »

Do you look less nice without make-up?

Yes! And the increased attention from men demonstrates this! I don't think I look hideous without make-up and I don't wear much of it, but it does highlight my eyes and lips (the teeniest bit of lip-liner is all) which are my best features.

zulutango · 07-12-2016 11:26PM

Flimpson wrote: »

Yes! And the increased attention from men demonstrates this! I don't think I look hideous without make-up and I don't wear much of it, but it does highlight my eyes and lips (the teeniest bit of lip-liner is all) which are my best features.

So, therefore you're insecure about your looks! Not massively insecure, but somewhat. Is that fair to say?

mzungu · 07-12-2016 11:28PM

Flimpson wrote: »

When short men are unhappy about being short reducing their chances of sex/romance, that sucks for them and I wish life was not like that for them. Comparing them to fat women is not comparing like with like either, as excess weight can be lost (difficult, but possible) and height cannot be changed.

If a woman is a bitch to a man because he's short, he's dead right to give her hell back, but if a short man is resentful and hostile towards women just for not fancying him, well the reason for this is obvious but there is no excuse whatsoever. Absolutely none. But it's where a lot of hostility towards women stems from - particularly on the internet (I don't encounter it offline at all).

I have heard this line trotted out many times on this forum. I think height only really matters to the person in question, I don't think anybody else really gives that much of a toss. For example, the shortest guy among my friends is, and has always been, a hit with the ladies. He is now approaching 40 (no spring chicken, beer belly etc) and he still gets chatted up by women much younger than him.

So, I think a lot of this stuff about height being a disadvantage is a defeatist attitude that eventually becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Salrub · 07-12-2016 11:30PM

mzungu wrote: »

I have heard this line trotted out many times on this forum. I think height only really matters to the person in question, I don't think anybody else really gives that much of a toss. For example, the shortest guy among my friends is, and has always been a hit with the ladies. He is now approaching 40 (with the belly expanding and all the rest of it) and he still gets chatted up by women much younger than him.

So, I think a lot of this stuff about height being a disadvantage is a defeatist attitude that eventually becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Yeah I'm not the tallest myself and I sometimes get down about it but like you say it's a defeatist attitude which I'm trying to change my mindset. By the way how tall is your shortest friend your talking about?

07-12-2016 11:31PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I wouldn't consider it to be... or 5'10 .. even 5'9 is not short - Conor McGregor is about this height (maybe even half an inch shorter) and he is able to look proportional and good. I think 5'9 on the dot to 5'7 is a big jump.

5'7 is not that short OnionBelt, certainly not short enough for you to have no options.

Shoe lifts such as these would give you that extra couple of inches, and might work wonders on your confidence.

Goya · 07-12-2016 11:32PM

zulutango wrote: »

So, therefore you're insecure about your looks! Not massively insecure, but somewhat. Is that fair to say?

I don't know if it is. Is wanting to look nicer automatically insecurity? I mean, I only wear make-up when I go out. Never to work, never to anywhere other than going out/events. I think I look grand without make-up but want to look better at certain times.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 07-12-2016 11:32PM

I think short guys attitudes sometimes are off putting, when they're completely hung up on, when they tell you they like you cause you're shorter than them, when they tell you how women are vain, when they've a chip on their shoulder.

Nobody should feel bad that they're not attracted to short guys much like nobody should feel bad if they're not attracted to heavily made up women.

The Talking Bread · 07-12-2016 11:35PM

Kal El wrote: »

. Im sorry if youve never been able to get a girl/guy over for sex :rolleyes:

No, I am not into frequently texting complete and utter strangers to call over to my house that I have never met to guarantee me sex because I seen her online!

I would prefer a girl a tad classier than that.

Trust me, no need to be sorry for me for that!

zulutango · 07-12-2016 11:36PM

Flimpson wrote: »

I don't know if it is. Is wanting to look nicer automatically insecurity? I mean, I only wear make-up when I go out. Never to work, never to anywhere other than going out/events. I think I look grand without make-up but want to look better at certain times.

Yes, I think it is, logically, isn't it? It seems like you're not very insecure about your looks, and therefore you don't wear much make-up.

Goya · 07-12-2016 11:41PM

zulutango wrote: »

Yes, I think it is, logically, isn't it? It seems like you're not very insecure about your looks, and therefore you don't wear much make-up.

Grooming/dressing up/looking nicer than the usual means a relative amount of insecurity? Like, a man getting dressed up, polishing his shoes, shaving, putting on aftershave/a bit of moisturiser, styling his hair... where on the scale of insecurity is that?

mzungu · 07-12-2016 11:42PM

Salrub wrote: »

Yeah I'm not the tallest myself and I sometimes get down about it but like you say it's a defeatist attitude which I'm trying to change my mindset. By the way how tall is your shortest friend your talking about?

At a very rough guess 5"3 or 5"4. The rest of us would all range from 6 to 6"4 and we are mostly complete train wrecks in the romance department.:D So, I just don't subscribe to the whole notion that being short is some kind of insurmoutable obstacle.

Changing your mindset is a good first step

Believe me, nobody will care about how small/tall you are.

zulutango · 07-12-2016 11:44PM

Flimpson wrote: »

Grooming/dressing up/looking nicer than the usual means a relative amount of insecurity? Like, a man getting dressed up, polishing his shoes, shaving, putting on aftershave/a bit of moisturiser, styling his hair... where on the scale of insecurity is that?

Everybody is insecure to some degree. It's a human condition.

How come Tinder is so difficult?

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