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How have I ended up here

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Comments

  • #32
    CianRyan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,729 ✭✭✭✭CianRyan


    It doesn't have to be religious, finding a deeper connection with yourself can be huge.
    Everyone has different ways of meditating, for me sitting quietly doesn't work but I find a long walk alone in the mountains can do wonders for me if I'm feeling stressed. With no distractions you can really clear your worries and focus on the beauty of life it's self.
    Again, that may not be for you but I would encourage you to find your meditation.
    Keep up the good work, mate. You're doing really well! :)


  • #33
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    savemefrom wrote: »
    Thanks for these words and yours Flying Mouse.
    I had to go and look up the meaning of "false pride" and I can see it clearly in action in the way I live, putting on a public image, on guard about what I say all the time etc. Food for thought.

    The spiritual side? as a non religious person, I might have to work on that solution to understand more.


    The only reason you need to go to a AA meeting is the desire to stop drinking, that's it.

    Now of you go :-)


  • #34
    eamor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 123 ✭✭eamor


    Hello Savemefrom,

    Just checking in to see how you are doing today? There is some really good advice here. What you are feeling and describing is something that we can all relate to. I understand your reluctance to go to AA, but what have you got to loose at this stage? You don't have to do anything else, other than turn up. You don't have to speak, other than acknowledge it's your first meeting (You can nod, speak, or put your hand up). You are white knuckling this, and you don't have to. I can't emphasise that enough.
    Good luck and keep coming back here to share. :)

    E


  • #35
    aabarnes1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 295 ✭✭aabarnes1


    The flying mouse wrote: »
    The only reason you need to go to a AA meeting is the desire to stop drinking, that's it.

    Now of you go :-)

    Please don't get spirituality and religion confused, they are 2 very different phenomena. I am not in any way religious, however I do have a belief in a Power greater than myself, a God of MY own understanding, the kid of God that gives us beautiful sunsets and allows the fantastic development of a an ugly grub into a beautiful butterfly-- get my meaning.


  • #36
    savemefrom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭savemefrom


    Sunday night I bought in a bottle of wine. That's all, and nothing since, but boy, how bad did I feel Monday morning, a mixture of stomach pains, brought on by eating foods along with it that I am allergic to with my guard down,and feeling awfully depressed and guilty.

    Quiet, shocked that so "little" could leave me feeling so bad so quickly.

    I was very stressed about the thoughts of work on Monday. Leaving now would be a relief, but doing that might make something else harder to find. So living in a state of anxiety at the moment, struggling to get up in the mornings.

    My plan was to quit until xmas and consider it long-term thereafter. I now know quitting full time is the long term solution.

    Taking on board the advice to go to meetings and explore spiritual side. Time pressure with work might mean a few weeks before I have time to invest. Over coming work issues is the most pressing. I can see myself turning around and quitting and that might cause short-term financial issues for the family, which is worrying me to.


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  • #37
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    aabarnes1 wrote: »
    Please don't get spirituality and religion confused, they are 2 very different phenomena. I am not in any way religious, however I do have a belief in a Power greater than myself, a God of MY own understanding, the kid of God that gives us beautiful sunsets and allows the fantastic development of a an ugly grub into a beautiful butterfly-- get my meaning.

    I am not getting anything confused, for its worth I don't go to AA meetings at all, And my beliefs are mine no one else's.

    What I am trying to do is give the OP a way out, IMO he is sinking fast & if AA is an option let him go there, as at the moment it seems the only lifeline he has, I would have prayed to a cow in a field if I thought back then it would help me stop drinking.


  • #38
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    savemefrom wrote: »
    Sunday night I bought in a bottle of wine. That's all, and nothing since, but boy, how bad did I feel Monday morning, a mixture of stomach pains, brought on by eating foods along with it that I am allergic to with my guard down,and feeling awfully depressed and guilty.

    Quiet, shocked that so "little" could leave me feeling so bad so quickly.

    I was very stressed about the thoughts of work on Monday. Leaving now would be a relief, but doing that might make something else harder to find. So living in a state of anxiety at the moment, struggling to get up in the mornings.

    My plan was to quit until xmas and consider it long-term thereafter. I now know quitting full time is the long term solution.

    Taking on board the advice to go to meetings and explore spiritual side. Time pressure with work might mean a few weeks before I have time to invest. Over coming work issues is the most pressing. I can see myself turning around and quitting and that might cause short-term financial issues for the family, which is worrying me to.


    hi savemefrom,Hope this does not come across as to harsh but here it is, said with respect to you as I & others here can relate,

    Nothing or no one can help people unless they want to be helped. I have a friend where I live now, He's been to rehab 3 times and has been going to all & every sort of fellowships you can name, online, offline, meetings for tea etc etc and he's still drinking.

    There's not much I can say to him that hasn't already been said. I've offered all the support I can, but it's not enough. He refuses to close the door on alcohol, leaves it open just a crack in case he needs to run back to it. And he will, time and time again until he wants to be sober more than he wants to drink.

    He's not ready to make the commitment needed to obtain lasting sobriety. And no one can help him until he does. Getting sober isn't something to take lightly. It isn't something we work at for a few months, it's a lifelong commitment. Until you make that commitment, your next slip/relapse is just around the corner.

    Wish you the best & hopefully you make the right Discsion for you sooner than later.


  • #39
    savemefrom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭savemefrom


    Flying Mouse, i think aabarnes was replying to me.

    It u dont use meetings what do u do?


  • #40
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    savemefrom wrote: »
    Flying Mouse, i think aabarnes was replying to me.

    It u dont use meetings what do u do?


    Online support groups is what got it for me at the very start, also I really wanted & knew I had to stop, no buts or excuses of any sort, If I wanted to have a normal life with my family & real friends, I needed to stop.

    I excepted that I could not drink alcohol in any way, admitted defeat to myself & then went off & got support & help from anyone & everyone genuine enough to help me.

    There are quite a few good links here that will help you & give you support.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057658188


    But at the end of the day the choice is just down to you.


  • #41
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    The flying mouse wrote: »
    I am not getting anything confused, for its worth I don't go to AA meetings at all, And my beliefs are mine no one else's.

    What I am trying to do is give the OP a way out, IMO he is sinking fast & if AA is an option let him go there, as at the moment it seems the only lifeline he has, I would have prayed to a cow in a field if I thought back then it would help me stop drinking.

    I have repeatedly requested an AA member only thread, where actual recovered alcoholics can share the actual AA program (located in the Big Book) with newcomers and those lurking. I think you are generally a nice person Mouse, but yet you are part of the reason why we need it.
    Why?
    Because only five months ago you said you did go to AA , but that you apparently liked the "social" aspect more than the meetings :
    I to went to AA, but for me the best part was the conversations/meetings after the AA meetings, In fact a group of us started to go for coffees/teas,/food at least twice a month, That for me was more helpful in me fighting my addiction than the meetings themselves, Just saying not knocking AA.
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=100085540&postcount=2517

    Then a month later you posted this:
    hi all hope you are all doing well, haven't been around much these times as I caught up in a lot of personnel/work ****.In fact heavy enough issues, As some of you might know I am 7,1/2 years clean, Still have no inclination or temptation to drink but, I find I still missing something, So today I went to a AA meeting and have now decided to do the 12 steps programme, I have never honestly had a one to one re myself,f actually I thought I was above it, but I not, and now is the time for me to nail this ****er once and for all. thanks.
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=100456139&postcount=2588


    I admired your honesty here and was looking forward to hearing how you got on......but it seems you didn't follow through.
    And that is fine. Maybe you don't need to do it!

    But there are some of us who do, some of us for who the AA program of recovery literally saved our lives, and for who this stuff is (not was) vitally important.

    Anyways:

    For anyone interested, there are some good talks here to give you an idea of what AA is all about:



    And here is a link to the Big Book itself, and although it is entirely possible to recover (yes, recover!) doing this on your own, it's a hell of a lot easier having someone who's recovered themselves guide you through it--even if that is just by listening to some of the Big Book studies located on the channel above:
    http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous

    Meetings in Ireland: http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting


    Best of luck to all, no matter what path you travel ;)


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  • #42
    savemefrom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭savemefrom


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    I have repeatedly requested an AA member only thread, where actual recovered alcoholics can share the actual AA program (located in the Big Book) with newcomers and those lurking.

    Sounds a good idea. Can you not just go ahead and start that thread?


  • #43
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    I have gone to AA meetings, CA meetings and numerous other meetings & meet ups, I don't need you amassing fun to tell me yours is the only way out of this mess as its not. That's why there is no AA thread here, your as in AA is to self righteous .

    Maybe you should practice doing your 12th step here ? Instead of every few weeks barging in & putting the AA out there , You might find it will work a lot better to get your opinions & AA across.


  • #44
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    savemefrom wrote: »
    Amazingfun wrote: »
    I have repeatedly requested an AA member only thread, where actual recovered alcoholics can share the actual AA program (located in the Big Book) with newcomers and those lurking.

    Sounds a good idea. Can you not just go ahead and start that thread?

    Yeah, maybe we can give it a go in the New Year, lol.....see if we can get through The Doctors Opinion anyways ;)

    http://www.silkworth.net/gsowatch/litbook.pdf

    In the meantime, there really is a wealth of resources online these days, and anyone who wants to recover, can. It's how I came to truly understand what was being said to me about alcoholism (this after years of repeatedly returning to drink and suffering tremendous consequences)---by listening to those who went before me. The benefit of hearing it this way was I could do it at my leisure, and repeat it when necessary, as I often seem to suffer from "forget-everything-itus", lol.

    So, it's an option for those who have access to the internet, which thankfully is most of us these days. It is especially helpful for those in rural areas or places where there isn't access to regular meetings.

    Anyways, feel free to pm myself or others when/if you have any questions, as we were all new once upon a time :)

    A.


  • #45
    Dave!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,856 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    Guys please stop the hostility - Nobody needs to be critical of particular recovery methods, nor do we need to segregate conversation. Everyone just needs to remember the reason why this forum is valuable, and to provide support and advice that is accessible and useful to everybody regardless of how they're trying to get better.

    Thanks


  • #46
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    Savemefrom No one has a monopoly on recovery strategies. That is why some people recover in AA, some recover in religious programs, and some just get creative and carve their own path. If someone tells you that their program is the only way to recover, RUN. They are dangerous.imo.You have to find what works best for yourself.

    We are nowhere near a cure for addiction. Treating substance abuse and addiction is a very young field. The best recovery programs in the world offer poor success rates. There is no magic cure as of yet. Drug rehabs can help, but success rates remain low. The best bet in recovery is to hit bottom, become willing, and ask for help. No one has figured out how to make all of that happen at will.

    Good luck & wish you the best in what ever path you choose.


  • #47
    aabarnes1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 295 ✭✭aabarnes1


    The flying mouse wrote: »
    I am not getting anything confused, for its worth I don't go to AA meetings at all, And my beliefs are mine no one else's.

    What I am trying to do is give the OP a way out, IMO he is sinking fast & if AA is an option let him go there, as at the moment it seems the only lifeline he has, I would have prayed to a cow in a field if I thought back then it would help me stop drinking.

    I meant the OP mouse, not you.... sorry if I confused,


  • #48
    savemefrom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭savemefrom


    eamor wrote: »
    Hello Savemefrom,

    Just checking in to see how you are doing today? There is some really good advice here. What you are feeling and describing is something that we can all relate to. I understand your reluctance to go to AA, but what have you got to loose at this stage? You don't have to do anything else, other than turn up. You don't have to speak, other than acknowledge it's your first meeting (You can nod, speak, or put your hand up). You are white knuckling this, and you don't have to. I can't emphasise that enough.
    Good luck and keep coming back here to share. :)

    E

    Thanks. I haven't ruled anything in or out. MY mind is open. The Sunday blip has not been repeated. Sometimes we can learn from a fall.

    One thing that stuck in my mind about AA, was a bloke I worked with years ago coming into work telling me he met his Uncle there. I thought, so much for anonymity! He was rather an immature person in hindsight. One fear, would be meeting people you know and feeling, can you trust them to respect your right to anonymity.


  • #49
    The flying mouse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,915 ✭✭✭The flying mouse


    savemefrom wrote: »
    Thanks. I haven't ruled anything in or out. MY mind is open. The Sunday blip has not been repeated. Sometimes we can learn from a fall.

    One thing that stuck in my mind about AA, was a bloke I worked with years ago coming into work telling me he met his Uncle there. I thought, so much for anonymity! He was rather an immature person in hindsight. One fear, would be meeting people you know and feeling, can you trust them to respect your right to anonymity.

    If you did meet people there would they not be there for the same reason you are ? & them thinking the same about you ? Just say hello to them you might have more in common than you think.


  • #50
    savemefrom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭savemefrom


    Everybody is going out and having fun, I'm a fool for staying home and having none............

    It feels a bit like that song tonight.

    But the clear head in the morning will make that alright.


  • #51
    hubba
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Dead right, savemefrom. Just keep reminding yourself. January will soon come and you will be in great shape amongst the walking wounded.:)


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  • #52
    aabarnes1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 295 ✭✭aabarnes1


    savemefrom wrote: »
    Everybody is going out and having fun, I'm a fool for staying home and having none............

    It feels a bit like that song tonight.

    But the clear head in the morning will make that alright.
    Actually, you'd be surprised to know that most people aren't out having fun, you just focus on those who are out drinking etc.
    The poor me's,,,,,,,


  • #53
    savemefrom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭savemefrom


    Well, planning a low key Christmas.

    We put ourselves under so much pressure this time of year, and it comes and goes leaving the January bills and wondering what all the panic was for.

    This year, I would love to take 3 days away somewhere quiet to meditate, no phone, tv, internet etc. Although, setting aside the money to do that will be hard in this month of Christianity Commercialism .

    Going to take a break from here and report back in the New Year.

    May I wish every person that posts on NDG a Happy Christmas. Your posts helped me take a closer look at myself. The road ahead is long, may it start being a Happy One.


  • #54
    eamor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 123 ✭✭eamor


    savemefrom wrote: »
    Well, planning a low key Christmas.

    We put ourselves under so much pressure this time of year, and it comes and goes leaving the January bills and wondering what all the panic was for.

    This year, I would love to take 3 days away somewhere quiet to meditate, no phone, tv, internet etc. Although, setting aside the money to do that will be hard in this month of Christianity Commercialism .

    Going to take a break from here and report back in the New Year.

    May I wish every person that posts on NDG a Happy Christmas. Your posts helped me take a closer look at myself. The road ahead is long, may it start being a Happy One.


    Hi Savemefrom. I know you said you were taking some time out from here till Jan, but I just wanted to say I hope you're doing ok. This is a tough time of year for anyone dealing with recovery , particularly if doing it alone. (And that is not a judgement). I am coming up to 90 days myself and although I have no interest in drinking I can see for the first time how ubiquitous alcohol is in December. Its tough, people in work who you drink coffee with suddenly think nothing of cracking open a bottle with a client, 'ah shure its Xmas...' Good lord, roll on Jan.. !
    Eamor.


  • #55
    savemefrom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭savemefrom


    eamor wrote: »
    Hi Savemefrom. I know you said you were taking some time out from here till Jan, but I just wanted to say I hope you're doing ok. This is a tough time of year for anyone dealing with recovery , particularly if doing it alone. (And that is not a judgement). I am coming up to 90 days myself and although I have no interest in drinking I can see for the first time how ubiquitous alcohol is in December. Its tough, people in work who you drink coffee with suddenly think nothing of cracking open a bottle with a client, 'ah shure its Xmas...' Good lord, roll on Jan.. !
    Eamor.

    Eamor,

    Thanks for the comments, just checking in to let you know I'm fine.
    See you all in January, have a happy Christmas.


  • #56
    Amazingfun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Glad to hear it Saveme :) I had a wonderful Christmas, my 14th sober one in a row now. My gratitude for that gift grows by the year, as I know a good few who weren't so lucky.
    Lookin forward to starting off 2017 with the rest of those who made it, sobriety intact!


  • #57
    aabarnes1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 295 ✭✭aabarnes1


    It's funny, I used to give out about the restricted pub hours around Xmas, now I find I am complaining about the school and local community centre closing times, where our AA meetings are held!! Some turn around. Just sayin.........


  • #58
    savemefrom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭savemefrom


    Well, as stated when I started, I gave up until xmas. hardly bothered with it until the return to work date loomed. I can see a trigger point.

    Back with the odd bottle of wine. Grand at the time, but getting up the following mornings is hard.

    What have I learned? the most important person to be honest with is yourself, because if you are not honest wit yourself, you are not being honest with others.

    This thread has served its purpose. I have looked at myself in the mirror and taken on board the advice.

    Going forward, I will post on the "haven't touched a drop...." thread. One day at a time etc.

    See ye all over there.


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