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Warning signs or am I overracting

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Comments

  • #92
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,043 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Unsurepete wrote: »
    sent her a silly whatsapp selfie of myself and my lab pup Milly saying we really missed her

    Ah jaysus, PM me if it doesn't work out OP ;):)


  • #93
    tara73
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,358 ✭✭✭tara73


    Unsurepete wrote: »
    Knocked off work today about midday as was mentally exhausted and good for nothing, woke up a few hours ago with a bit of renewed vigor (partly due to reading Sarah's post) and decided to quit the pity party I was having myself.

    I tried to call her but no answer, so just sent her a silly whatsapp selfie of myself and my lab pup Milly saying we really missed her. Anyway she called back a short while ago and we had a long chat about stuff, well I mainly listened. She opened up about a past infidelity between her ex and best friend that really affected her badly, and those feelings surfaced last Saturday and she just needed to get out of there. Said she has no romantic interest in the work colleague but was just feeling hurt yesterday and apologised for telling me that. I offered to cook her dinner Friday which she's thankfully accepted so hopefully we can put this stupid episode behind us.

    To those questioning the strength of my feelings towards her, it's not something I feel I need to overly validate, just to say that she brightness up any day I spend with her and enhances my mood any time she contacts me.

    It's great that it seemed to work out for you, but I ask myself did you apologise also? It sounds she did all the apologising and explaining herself. nothing mentioned about you doing the same.

    I really hope for her she got the apologise she earned and is not one of this women who takes all the blame even if it's not all on her part. Because that will never end well.


  • #94
    stop animal cruelty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,012 ✭✭✭stop animal cruelty


    Aww what a great turn out, hope it all works out!


  • #95
    pookie82
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭pookie82


    tara73 wrote: »
    It's great that it seemed to work out for you, but I ask myself did you apologise also? It sounds she did all the apologising and explaining herself. nothing mentioned about you doing the same.

    I really hope for her she got the apologise she earned and is not one of this women who takes all the blame even if it's not all on her part. Because that will never end well.

    Agree with this.

    I'm delighted for you both OP and really hope it works well from here. But from reading about your conversation, I hope she didn't take all the "blame" and explain about her past as a way of "excusing" that, because what she did was not wrong whatsoever.

    Make sure you apologise for jumping the gun, too. Otherwise she'll be afraid to ever ask another question for fear of being punished.


  • #96
    BetsyEllen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭BetsyEllen


    Just read the whole thread and I'm delighted with the outcome.

    Very best of luck OP :)


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  • #97
    The Wolverine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 370 ✭✭The Wolverine


    Jesus I hope her other date was just a lie to get back at you.

    If he's real it will be awful, he asked her out, she turned him down. Then she asks him out and arranges a date with him despite not fancying him and then gets back with the OP

    :(


  • #98
    DukeOfTheSharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 307 ✭✭DukeOfTheSharp


    This whole thing seems like a bizarro-world nightmare to be honest. It seems like both your and your maybe-gf's way of dealing with things is incredibly poor, and there's a lot of crap going on underneath the surface here. I don't really think she should have brought up the exclusivity thing given the context of the situation - that was s huge error in judgement on her part - and given her past history and her reaction, that's some heavy baggage you're going to have to carry if you still want to be with her. At the same time, your reaction should have been better, maybe diffusing the situation by focusing in on the question she asked about the toiletries and leaving the exclusivity thing on backburner until you sorted that first? You worded your thought process poorly, but I think in general anyone would feel like they'd been through a confusing loop going from a 'did you have other women over recently?' joke to a serious 'are we exclusive?' conversation. They were interconnected and no response you could have given would have made her happy unless it was a 'no' and 'yes' respectively.

    Fair dues for giving it another shot, but take this into consideration: this happened before you even became exclusive. Think very carefully about this, if this is really what you want then go for it, but remember that her fears sparked a pretty complicated response from you, and the resulting fallout was both of you not talking to each other, her making up that she had a date to hurt you, and this whole thing escalating to the point where you had to clock out of work early because you were so drained. That's far from healthy.

    All the best OP.


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