Life Crisis

bombidol

Ok, for those of you that read my Journal, this might be old news but im in need of advice from the rest of you.

Ive been going out with a girl for a couple of months now, Problem is , she lives in Detroit. Ive been over there and im going back in a few weeks. Problem is, after getting a taste of the states i want to move there to be with her. And its just a better quality of life than Ireland. You know the usual Cheaper, Faster, Better.
The only problem with this plan, is that im in a band in ireland. Now if we were just a ****ty Garageband or whatever id say **** it. but we are good, real good and we've been told the same by promoters and fans alike. Theres a possibility that there could be a future in it. But then i think of it and there hasnt been an Irish rock band to make it big in Years. why would we be the exception. im thinking of going over there for 3 months just to test the waters first. that shouldnt be too much of a hassle for the boys. I dont want to let them down by leaving the country just as things are happening.
Then theres the problem of emmigration itself. Applying for a visa/green card is long and costly. So we've thought about the getting married option, its quick and painless. Im doubtfull of actually marrying my ACTUAL girlfriend, that might be weird. but if we put the marraige aside as being just a peice of paper and my way into the country for the minimum amount of time required then get divorced or whatever we might make it work.
I have no idea about how to go about any of this so if anyone has any insight or ideas let me know.

Typedef

Hold it.

If you're moving over for the girl well and good.

If you moving over because you want to live in the States... then no.


I had a distasteful incident like this with a Russian girl.

Sadly I don't do marriage for naturalisation without + €5,000 in my pocket.

market rate and all that.

bug

It depends,
Have you been signed? What sort of music, IMO if its harcore punk you may have a good local following but only sort of stuff that makes it big in Ireland it that skateboard tennybopper crap.

Get the lads to go with you? Maybe a better chance in the states than here if they are as commited as you?

Tyrrial

so whats the band called?
your problem is indeed a big one... and for the life of me i can't understand why you'd want to live in the states, you should watch bolwling for columbine before you make a choice!

Mighty_Mouse

1)America - better quality of life - maby if your loaded or highly educated, otherwise the worst place in the world a person could go and struggle for a few quid.

2) Going with gf for couple months !! I don't think elaboration is necessary

3)Marriage - 4 green card - thats too hairy! When u become a famous rocker she's gonna want half!

4)The lads etc . F*ck the lads cos they probably wouldnt give a toss if they were in your situation. 3 mths u'll be back.

5) u dont need a green card for three months. You should get a visa but I dont intend 2 and i'm headin for the summer.

Dont know much about the music industry but what if went on holiday visa for 3 months. It'll still be there 4 u in 3mths surely.

As long as your back in time its not illegal (ps. dont tell em you'll be workin)

Who knows the bitch might drive u crazy. I personally dont think u can know someone when in holiday mode ie meet them here, fly over to see em etc.

Think about this again. imagine getting married cos its seems the easier/less complicated option! oh my god!

Out of curiosity , what age are u?

jammy_dodger

My god, Moving country for a girl that you only know 2 months, and then planning to marry her in order to get into the country, Thats just fooKin nutz.
From my understanding of divorces, they cost money, you need a lawyer, and their more expensive in the states. plus if you dont marry your ACTUAL girlfriend, how well would you know the person your marrying, they could get one over on you, Your legally binded to them.

Fair enough if you prefere America to Ireland, but a girl is no reason to go, try to imagine yourself going on your todd, without knowing anyone over there, and if it still appeals to you, consider it then.

And the BAND............well ive never heard your music, so i don't know if you'll make it, but i do know things wont just happen for you, its a 100% commitment to get somewhere.

I wish you luck
p.s. ive never read your journal, jus whats here

bombidol

Some good points there. Let me elaborate on some stuff.
Yes ive only known the girl a few months but the problem is ill never get to know her more if i stay here, i cant afford to jet over and back all the time. Its impossible to get a couple of months working visa without having backing from a company. and a full Visa is downright stupid to get. Waiting list of a couple of years etc. I cant afford that.
i know i can go over there for 3 months for holiday, and im planning that before anything else happens (Eg marraige etc) soon enough.
we are planning on talking to someone in the know before doing anything major, trust me.
The country probably wouldnt appeal to anyone if they didnt know anyone over there to show em the less "stars and stripes" areas, show you the real city etc. I love this girl a lot and i want to be with her more than i want to move to America, but she's in college and i dont think her folks would approve of moving to another country. im 22 by the way no kiddie.
Mighty Mouse, Watch the mouth. If the word bitch is used in reference to my girlfriend again be prepared to meet me face to face.
As for the band, We arent famous by any means and im not saying we WILL be , its just with the reactions we have been getting we might make it past the crappy local band stage. thats all.
The lads all have decent jobs and stuff here so they wouldnt be moving over with me.

Lemming

I'll point something out marriage to a US citizen. If she dies or you get divorced, and you're not a US citizen by then, you'll be asked to leave the country.

AFAIK

bombidol

Yep, i works like this i think. we have to stay married for up to 3 years during that time im a temporary citizen, i means im on parole as such. A try out. After that 3 years i get full rights and stuff.
Im pretty sure thats the way it works, but like i said we'll be talking to some offical types before or IF anything goes ahead

gar

Lemming

Originally posted by bombidol
Yep, i works like this i think. we have to stay married for up to 3 years during that time im a temporary citizen, i means im on parole as such. A try out. After that 3 years i get full rights and stuff.
Im pretty sure thats the way it works, but like i said we'll be talking to some offical types before or IF anything goes ahead

gar

Ummm ... nope. Some Irish woman married to a US fireman in NY was facing deportation frmo teh US since her husband was killed at the Twin Towers, despite also having two children. They'd been married for more than 3 years - quite a few more.

bombidol

Chances are she got complacent and never filed for individual citezinship like she should have after the 3rd year. Ive been reading about it all day


gar

Squall

Ill sell ya me citizsenship

ferdi

go here

Sterile Fish

long distance relationships NEVER work, so staying here for much longer would be abad idea if you really want to/expect to be with this girl for a long time, but the band is important too, and that wont work long distance either, the thing is there doesnt seem to be a way to have both and keep them, so you have to decide which you want more, a lifetime with this american girl, or staying here with the chance of being famous, also if things are starting to take off for your band, a 3 month holiday is a bad idea, when you see a chance, snatch it, over the sumemr months is a good chance to get signed or tout some labels or something, but if your gonna be in america, your losing the chance to get signed soon

meesha_beesha

Hmmm.

This is all very interesting.

bombidol

Gents and ladies, meet Marissa. My Girlfriend.

Sterile Fish

lol, sry but i cant help but laugh at the fact he got his girlfriend in here, well hello marissa, ur bound to have more to say on all of this other than 'this is interesting' try to persuade him to go over or sumthin, be assertive through boards!!!

(it usually works for me)

DapperGent

Originally posted by bombidol
but she's in college and i dont think her folks would approve of moving to another country.

Maybe try looking at exchange programs? Miss Meesha could maybe spend a year of her course studying at an Irish university.

The fees couldn't be higher than in America and as far as I know most american colleges are very good at facilitating exchange programs plus there's almost certain to be a matching course in one of the Dublin colleges.

In a year you should know whether both your band and your relationship are going anywhere.

Originally posted by bombidol
Watch the mouth. If the word bitch is used in reference to my girlfriend again be prepared to meet me face to face.

Christ grow up.

Wolf

Go over for the Summer and see how it goes basically. Iv know too many m8s that have run off after a girl and it didnt work out and then they were stuck in (wherever) just kinda hanging around.

Also, as for the band I have had m8s that got all the praise ur gettin evenm8s that supported aslan and they didnt make it much futher.

I mean best of luck and all that but it takes alot more than tallent and good music to make it in the industry.

meesha_beesha

Originally posted by Sterile Fish
lol, sry but i cant help but laugh at the fact he got his girlfriend in here, well hello marissa, ur bound to have more to say on all of this other than 'this is interesting' try to persuade him to go over or sumthin, be assertive through boards!!!

(it usually works for me)

It was a trade off. He signed up for LiveJournal (which is my digital home), and I signed up for boards.

And there is really no need to "be assertive through boards". He's not as distant as you think.

meesha_beesha

Originally posted by DapperGent
Maybe try looking at exchange programs? Miss Meesha could maybe spend a year of her course studying at an Irish university.

The fees couldn't be higher than in America and as far as I know most american colleges are very good at facilitating exchange programs plus there's almost certain to be a matching course in one of the Dublin colleges.

I've thought about it. But it's a definate catch-22. I just transfered from a major university to a community college because it was cheaper. I have to stay there at least a year and then transfer to another university. The universities I was thinking of attending do offer study abroad programs but only to England or Scotland. And universities that do offer programs in Dublin don't offer courses I need to take. Also, most colleges only allow 3rd and 4th year students to travel. At any rate, if I do find some sort of loop hole, it won't be for another 2-3 years.

DeVore

hi Marissa, welcome to Boards.

Bomb, if you want to make this work it sounds like maybe you have to ask the band to commit to moving to the states. Like other posters have said Punk is taking off big in the states, you'll never get anywhere in Ireland tbh.

DeV.

bombidol

Yeah, i know the ideal solution is for all of us to pack up and move to the states. chances are, at least one or two of the boys might be interested in doing it. but its the actual ordeal of getting there that would put them off. its a terrible state of affairs to actually gain residence in the USA. We'd / I'd be waiting years to even hear word back if we are allowed in or not. its all a big joke.