SPOILERS: 50 Reason not to see matrix reloaded

[CALIBUR]

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/matrix50.html

I think this is a joke. I hope so!

PiE

Two actors were abruptly cut from the sequel cast before production ended, both female minorities. Coincidence?

Aaliyah and Gloria Foster were unceremonially dropped after shooting some scenes for the sequel. What's wrong, guys? They didn't test well with the predominantly white Matrix audiences?

Neither actress could be reached for comment.

Obviously it's not a joke.

...

Makaveli

A spoiler warning would have been nice.

Two actors were abruptly cut from the sequel cast before production ended, both female minorities. Coincidence?

Aaliyah and Gloria Foster were unceremonially dropped after shooting some scenes for the sequel. What's wrong, guys? They didn't test well with the predominantly white Matrix audiences?

Neither actress could be reached for comment.

Wow, that's quite tasteful. :rolleyes:

Boro

Wow - he really doesnt like the matrix!

Speaking of terrorism, could not a film as toxic to the minds of its audience such as this be labelled a Weapon of Mass Destruction? The number of Kurds Saddam Hussein poisoned with his nerve gas is miniscule when compared to the number of brains that have been poisoned by The Matrix. Where is the U.S. military in this situation?

fisty

Some sap just wanted more hits on his website so spent ages putting it together.
What he says in it is rubbish and what he says about what happens in the film is mostly rubbish too.

If, like 90% of the incoming site traffic, you are here looking for the infamous and much linked-to Matrix Boycott Article, you can click HERE or scroll down a few inches and click there.

He obviously did it for hits.

Jaeger

Warner Bros. devoted $300 million to the production of the two Matrix sequels.

In the time the films have been in production, over one thousand American children will have died of starvation. For the cost of these films, each of those children could have been given one million dollars.

He's SMRT alright.

He says: 300 million / 1000 (or more) = 1 million
Our survey says: 300 million / 1000 (or more) = 300,000 (or less)

I had attended a showing of The Matrix in May of 1999 with a lady friend, because we are both big Morgan Freeman fans. An hour into the film, as I observed what dreck we were wading in, I walked up and stood before the screen and tried to explain to the audience that this vomitus was below their dignity.

Such a big fan that he couldn't even get "Laurence Fishburne" right?

Mr E

Thanks for putting a F**KING SPOILER WARNING on it, Meat..... FFS....

Draco

Aaliyah and Gloria Foster were unceremonially dropped after shooting some scenes for the sequel. What's wrong, guys? They didn't test well with the predominantly white Matrix audiences?

Neither actress could be reached for comment.

It would be quite the feat to get a comment out of Aaliyah since she's dead.

Thanx 4 The Fish

Man you have posted that and there was no spoiler warning, but ti gives away the fnking end, you ass.

fisty

I have seen the movie.
It doesn't...

Diver79

The first point linking the film to the Columbine high school tragedy is total and utter bo**ocks.
How can you link trench coats to The Matrix? I mean really, we are all intelligent people here.
Had this person watched Bowling for Columbine then he may understand the reasons Americans are killing each other.

TacT

ROFL, this guy doesn't even pay attention to detail, and for those worried that he's gone and ruined the ending, he hasn't, crap, he didn't scrape the surface of the ending..

Gonna wait a while till everyone's seen it, then we can all pontificate about what's gonna happen in the next one

Ste.phen

Originally posted by Diver79

Had this person watched Bowling for Columbine then he may understand the reasons Americans are killing each other.

Having only watched that he other day i have to say, i thought that while raising a few good points, he totally neglected to explain why americans are killing each other...?

Sorry to go OT, but you know...

Makaveli

Originally posted by Draco
It would be quite the feat to get a comment out of Aaliyah since she's dead.

So is Gloria Foster.
Which is why that comment was put in. Obviously this thing is a total piss take, but it's not funny, it's just crude.

OSiriS

Perhaps he should have posted a spoiler warning, but common sense should tell you that there are obviously spoilers in that link

[CALIBUR]

Originally posted by TmB
Thanks for putting a F**KING SPOILER WARNING on it, Meat..... FFS....

I'm REALLY REALLY SORRY FOR THAT NOW I didn't knew it had spoilers


Maybe u have read some spoilers in it well not take way what u see in the film. ITS so good!. I Knew about some sences in the film and I was still blowing away from it.


I'm really sorry!

Makaveli

According to Fisty it doesn't spoil anything.
I stopped reading it after the first spoiler or fake spoiler anyway.

fisty

Exactly.
Seen Movie.
Post full of $hit.
No spoilers in it.
Go watch movie.

de5p0i1er

That guys just talking crap to get attetion that sites a waste of time. :mad:

Jim

its a film ffs :rolleyes:

Thorbar

Its a joke and I think its funny. The one they did for Lord of the Rings is gas too. Best part of the deal is reading the forums and seeing all the outraged fanbois losing it.

/me wonders if he remembered to feed his bonzai kitten.

Antisocialiser

Utter tripe

Blitzkrieger

Oh what an asshole! - I'd have gone 28days on him if he had stood in front of the screen like that.

vibe666

it's most definately supposed to be funny.

whether or not you find it funny will depend very much on your sense of humour.

personally, occasionally funny, doubtful that there are any real spoilers in it, but not really worth reading the whole thing to pick out the bits that are actually funny.

Ivan

It is meant to be a joke.

I found bits of it rather amusing, however I rather disliked his LoTR "reasons" that was linked.

Overall... I think we should burn him as a witch.

:ninja:

Wook

In the spoon-bending scene, watch closely. First we see Neo bend the spoon almost into a "U" shape... now watch carefully (freeze-frame it, for you DVD owners). A second later it's back to its normal shape again. Ironic that a film meant for no-attention-span kids also had a no-attention-span editor.

he clearly did not understand the scene...
just a kid with too much time.

Miguel_Sanchez

The very fact that people are getting worked up about it is showing that he's succeeded exactly in what he set out to do. As for the people who are trying to disect his points - don't waste your time.

I bet he's actually a fan of the film and is just having a laugh at others expense.

Lemming

The guy's a total fvcknut.

Not because he wrote something that was obviously a p*ss-take or because he's trying to goad other people.

He's a fvcknut cause he's not funny and thinks he is. I mean, nothing in that entire article was even remotely funny. Not even laughing AT him was funny. it was just painful.

You, sir, are a fvcknut!

Ivan

Originally posted by Lemming

He's a fvcknut cause he's not funny and thinks he is. I mean, nothing in that entire article was even remotely funny. Not even laughing AT him was funny. it was just painful.

You, sir, are a fvcknut!

Awh come on!

Reloaded Ridiculousness, 2

I'm not joking; you'll literally feel your I.Q. drop watching this rubbish. For instance, the evil Matrix creates two new enemies for Neo, called the Twins. Their first priority is to blend discreetly into the simulated world of the Matrix, to walk among the people unnoticed. So of course the Matrix made them huge albino men with bleach-white dreadlocks who occasionally transform into shrieking wraiths.

"What's that, honey?"

"Oh, nothing. It just looks like a simple Kung-Fu Swedish Rastafarian Hell demon. I'm sure there's no need to question our fragile, sheltered grasp of 'reality' as we know it."

And...

The Matrix: Reconsidered, 4

You've worked as a policeman your whole life, protecting the innocent, enforcing the law. You retire with honors, then take a job as a security guard, working the metal detector on the ground floor of a skyscraper in order to help pay for your wife's arthritis medication. You're sitting there, on a slow day, reading your newspaper, when a girl walks in wearing a trenchcoat. She issues no demands, no warnings, no "freeze" or "drop your gun." She just tears you in half with a spray of machine-gun fire, then does cartwheels along the walls while killing all your friends.

Somewhere, faintly, you can hear a theater audience cheering

Hilarious.

Although some of his stuff is done in bad taste, but then who am I to judge. I found both of these quotes brilliant where as others would dislike them as much as I disliked the Aaliyah quote.

Lemming

Originally posted by Ivan

Although some of his stuff is done in bad taste

"Some" ??? Me thinks yer being a bit generous on him.

I want a refund for the 15 minutes I endured reading that purile sh*te

DeadBankClerk

Average I.Q. of the common Matrix fan: 91. That's fifteen points below average, folks.

Um, the average iq is 100, it is a normalised distribution.

Lemming

Now THIS is a funny p*ss-take of the Matrix Reloaded.

This is what that original fvcknut should be making note of.

tman

Even if you disagree with everything bad I've said about this movie, there's one point I think everyone can agree on: Keanu Reeves' ass does not need to be seen, ever. Not only do they show you his pasty white ass, they do it in the most contemptible way possible: right after a titty scene. They try to trick you into popping a boner, then WHAM. Keanu's corn hole.

lol, good link lemming

Lemming

Originally posted by tman
lol, good link lemming

That ain't the half of it. This guy is a total loon and comes up with some really funny sh*t.

Check out the rest of his site , featuring such brillliant articles as:

"How to keep teens out of a theatre"
"Harry Potters worst foe: Puberty"

tman

That wasn't the end of it though, it turns out the cranky old hag across the street saw all of this going on, so she came over to do what women do best: bitch. When I opened the door she was standing there in a partly transparent night gown, and it totally ruined the prospect of having a boner for at least 50 years. I was just starting to change my mind about the night gown when she started screeching at me and her stupid cat that she was holding started to hiss. So I took the cat and punted it over my neighbor's fence. She started crying "oh no! My cat! What have you done with my cat?!" I was laughing my ass off, then the bitch tried to scratch me so I gave her a round house kick and dislocated her hip. I was laughing so hard I **** my pants.

roffle, this guy is my new hero:D
(from http://maddox.xmission.com/oil.html)

Caesar_Bojangle

pretty good, Lemming

Dempsey

Throw in a resistor there somewhere. Your circuit diagram is missing one

jonno

Originally posted by Jimeatsmenu
its a film ffs :rolleyes:

Took the words out of my mouth. That lad needs a serious talking to:rolleyes: