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Evil Coffin

  • 19-05-2003 3:17pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭


    Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club.
    >
    >
    > It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing.
    >
    > Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only
    > broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin.
    >
    >
    >
    > Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
    >
    >
    > BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving
    > rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached
    > from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....It was
    > a coffin.
    >
    > Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started
    > walking briskly home.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking
    > faster.........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........BUMP.......
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........BUMP.......
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........BUMP........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but
    > he heard the coffin speed up after him......
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only
    > seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His
    > hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the
    > front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his
    > comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its
    > way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the
    > coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it
    > continued its chase.....
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take
    > him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched
    > itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door
    > flew off its hinges.....
    >
    > The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young
    > terrified lad.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom
    > cabinet......
    >
    > He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the
    > coffin.......still it came ........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it........still it
    > came......
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came......
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > The coffin stopped.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,146 ✭✭✭SoundWave


    i hate you :ninja:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,581 ✭✭✭uberwolf


    ah no!!!


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,290 ✭✭✭TomTom


    No offence but i think you should be badly hurt.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,392 ✭✭✭jonno


    oh dear god:(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,472 ✭✭✭Sposs


    Bàstard :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,717 ✭✭✭Praetorian


    I usually get paid to do that much scrolling!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,136 ✭✭✭Pugsley


    Thats so bad its funny, I still think you deserve to be hurt tho.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,274 ✭✭✭de5p0i1er


    Hurt him lots. :mad: :mad:


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    I never make comments in the humour board
    but seriously!!
    wtf???


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 718 ✭✭✭hells angels


    Im really sorry but i laughed i tried to stop it but it's power overwhelmed me....:(

    But it was so bad it was really funny


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,942 ✭✭✭Mac daddy


    what a crap joke. That has to be worst i have heard in a long time, you should be taken out in the back and giving a good kicking for posting crap. :ninja:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,754 ✭✭✭Big Chief


    Originally posted by Pugsley
    Thats so bad its funny,

    aye i agree with the above statement :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 651 ✭✭✭Okie


    Holy hell.....

    My groan-o-meter(tm) just exploded!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 408 ✭✭Chada


    rofl legend!


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