Simpson quotes

Saint-dotsie

"purples a fruit"

Amz

Mmmm sacralicious....

ThatBloke

I'm not not licking toads

GerK

'Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use'

Sandi

"exactly...doh!"

thedrowner

our boyis going on his first date! 'sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset. nd the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon....YES! we have no banana's'

Richie

Ralph Wiggum: "Hi Principal Skinner. Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers"

Cozpyro

Mono...D'oh

fat toni

i will only use this bed for three things.......eating sleeping and maybe building a little fort.......homer

you know i dont like it out doors smythers....there are to many fat children.....mr burns


yes i worked for 72 hours straight....i felt like a humming bird of some kind.......apu

oakaly dokaly........ned flanders

trouble with the wife eh,why dont you get one of those blow up woman simpson....but you want to make sure it a woman though cause this one time i...........ha ha .......chief wiggam

jez homer lisa dont eat no meat and barts turning gay...you and marge aint cousins are you...............mo sislack

DerekD Goldfish

This is the life. Homer
when bart and lisa get married it will all be theirs. homer
You mean to other people. marge
ok but I aint paying for two weddings. homer

Ive brought my new invention a sarcasim detecor. Frink
A sarcasim detector oh that will be usefull. Comic book guy
Machine explodes

karma kabbage

homer: well i guess you could say they're barking up the wrong bush
homers' brain: there it is homer, the smartest thing you've ever said and no-one was around to hear it
homer: d'oh

the happy hobo

Those rainbow suspenders eh? Pretty cool way to keep up your pants.

ThatBloke

We like roy !
We like roy !

karma kabbage

I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.

Pigman II

Bart: "Lisa in trouble? Oh the ironing is delicious!"

Imaal

Homer:'Aaaaw! 20 dollars, I wanted a peanut
his brain:20 dollars can buy many peanuts
homer:explain how
his brain:money can be exchanged for goods and services
homer:woohoo!'

homer:MMMM floor pie, waaaaaaaah!


troy mcleure:Get confident stupid

Grounskeeper Willie: there, pretty as a picture. WAAAAAAAH! ZOMBIES!!! there, pretty as a picture!

§eth

Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene." - Homer

Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what's-his-name? - Homer

Lisa, Vampires are make believe, like Elves, Gremlins, and Eskimos - Homer

Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it? - Homer

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems! - Homer

Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's
mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I
passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories.

Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.? The kids can call you Hoju! - Homer

God Bless Homer

RockViper

Homer: Well looks like the Bear Patrol is doing its job

Lisa: Thats specious reasoning dad

Homer: Hmmm how do you mean?

Lisa: Well by your reasoning this rock keeps tigers away*picks up a stone*

Homer: How does it work?

Lisa: It doesn't. It's just a stupid rock.......but I don't see any tigers, do you?

Homer:.......Lisa I wanna buy your rock!

Lisa: *shakes head*



"Just blame it on he guy who can't speak English. Ahh Tibor how many times have you saved my ass!"
- Homer

Giblet

Lou: I went to the McDonalds over in Shelbyville the other day.

Chief Wiggum: The Mc-what?

Lou: Yeah, I never heard of it either but they say they have over 2000 locations in this state alone.

Eddie: Hmm...Must've sprung up over night.

Lou: You know, the funniest thing though; it's the little differences."

Chief Wiggum: Example?

Lou: Well at a McDonalds you can get a Krusty Burger with cheese right? But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.

Chief Wiggum: Get out! What do they call it?

Lou: A quarter pounder with cheese.

Chief Wiggum: Quarter pounder with cheese...well I can see the cheese but? Hey, do they have Krusty's Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based beverages?

Lou: Mm hmm, they call them 'shakes.'

Eddie: *Pfft* 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'.

Chief Wiggum: I know what I'm getting...some donuts!

Daylight

Marge: "he's dying homer, quick do CPR"
Homer: (singing)"I see a bad moon rising"
Marge: NO, That's CCR!

ferdi

Mr Burns - "Smithers, there is a rocket in my pocket"
Smithers - "you dont have to tell me sir!"

guy in restaurant - " Ah-no....ah-no....Ah-YEEEs!"

artvandelay

"I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odors--Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tounges, stroke their beards, and talk about 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?' "

romey

"at seventeen I drank a very good beer.a very good beer i purchased with a fake id ,my name was brian mcgee,i stayed up listening to Queen. At seventeen. <sob> <sob>"-Homer

playmate

HOMER

" i am so smart!!
i am so smart!!
S M R T !!!!
i am so smart!!":D

karma kabbage

i bent my wookie

startled_frog

Ned Flanders -"Son of a diddly"

Shanannigan

Hi there, my Name's Troy McClure. You might remember me in such films as...
i'm Kent Brckman and here's my two cents

butterfly

trying is the first step to failure, the lesson is, never try.

you gave it to him? what have i told you about sharing?!

peppy: 'oh papa homer, you are so learn-ed'
homer:'learned peppy, its pronounced learned'

the last1 doesnt really work as well written down but hey..

§eth

I cant go any further...you guys go on ahead...and carry me with you!!! - Millhouse

tea hee...i love that one

irokie

i'll mace you good!

Doolap

First I'll pull my feet out with my arms, then I'll pull my arms out with my face.

Can I hold my gun to the side chief? It's so much cooler that way.

Good work Lou, you'll make seargent for this.......I already am seargent chief......Quiet Lou! or I'll bust you down to seargent so fast your head will spin.

Put out an APB on a Uosduis R Jerou, uh better start with Greek town........Um chief, that says Homer J Simpson. You're reading it upside down.........Cancel that APB, but see if you can bring back some of those Giros.........Uh chief, you're talking into your wallet.

Shanannigan

No!!! Now look son we all know that usually when you bug me like this I give in, so I'm not mad at you for trying. It shows you have been paying attention. But we all know I'm not going to give you 100 dollars! Now are you going to stop bugging me?




Not every1 can spin off simpsons quotes off the top of their head so if you're stuck here's a halpful website... http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml

Cherry

Homer : "meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow"

Comicstore Guy : "i have yet to kiss a human girl"

Homer "Marge, if you want me I'll be in the fridge"

Comicstore Guy : "oohhhhhh.. loneliness & cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix"

Flanders : "now just calm down Nedlididdlydiddly"

Ralph : "the doctor said i wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if i kept my finger outta there"

Flanders : "i'm a murdiddlyurderer!"

Cozpyro

"(Ralph) Remember if your nose starts bleeding then you're picking it too much............or not enough" - Wiggum

Shanannigan

Homer: Lisa i never apologize to anyone, i'm sorry thats just the way i am

Sleipnir

You see, some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food.
The only thing I'm hunting for
is an outfit that looks gooooooood.
Seeeeeee my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest.
Feel this sweater there's no better
Than authentic Irish Setter!
See this hat, 'twas my cat.
My evenning wear, vampire bat.
These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino!
Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share.
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest!
Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two...
See my vest, see my vest, see my vest.
Like my loafers,
Former gophers,
It was that or skin the chauffeur,
But a greyhound for tuxedo would be best...
So let's prepare these dogs,
Kill two for matching clogs!
See my vest!
See my vest!
Oh, please, won't you see my veesssst!

spoiltbrat

Witness Relocation Officer - Lets try this one more time Mr Simpson... When I tap you on the foot and say "Hello, Mr Thompson", you say "hello".

Homer - Gothcha.

Witness Relocation Officer - Hello Mr Thompson.

Homer (turning to other WRO) - I think he's talking to you.

Doolap

You may ask me three questions.

Are you really the head of the quicky mart?

Yes

Really?

Yes

Really?

Yes

Thank you come again.

Cherry

Homer Quotes --

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:
You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."

"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."

Freezer Geezer -- "P.S: Please change my pants as fashion dictates."

Ralph -- "& that's where I saw the leprechaun!.."
Bart -- " 'leprechaun'. riiiiiiiiiiiight...."
Ralph -- "He told me to burn things!"

Robbie the Automatron -- "Greetings, Earth children!"
Little Boy -- "Where are you from?"
Robbie -- "... Earth. Anyway.."

butterfly

space coyote: find your soulmate homer, find your soulmate
homer: but how, HOW??
..this is only your memory. i cant give you any new information


homer(of apu): he lied to us through song! i hate it when people do that!

Cherry

Burlesque Madame: "...... are you wearing a garbage bag?!"
Homer: "i have misplaced my pants"

karma kabbage

Grandpa 'think of me when you're having the best sex of your life'

*shudder*

smoke

Dr. Hibbert: Now Homer, tell me what happened.

Homer: Maybe a little Morphine would refresh my memory.[Dr.Hibbert injects it].

Homer: Aw yeah, now I remember it like it was yesterday.

Dr.Hibbert: Homer, it happened today!

Homer: Hey man, stop harshing my buzz.


Classic!

Cherry

Bart Quotes

"I'm flunking math, and the other day I was a little attracted to Milhouse."

"Soul? Come on Milhouse, there's no such thing as a soul! It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson."

"Oh, please. There's only one fat guy who brings us presents and his name ain't Santa."

Otto (to Patty): "Have you always been a chick? I mean, I, I, y'know, don't want to offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me, I'm open-minded."

Tannoy Announcement: "Attention, Marge Simpson, your son has been arrested...Attention, Marge Simpson, we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son."

Barney: "Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic."
Lisa: "Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting."
Barney: "Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?"

Barney: "I'm sorry Homer. I'm a coward now, like all recovering alcoholics."

Jay: "I vote for Barney Gumbel's sensitive yet unfortunately-titled film, "Pukahontas".

Marge: "He's going to baptize OUR children?!"
Homer: "Oh no!! They'll be Flandereseseses."

God: "Thou hast forsaken My Church!"
Homer: "Uh, kind-of... b-but..."
God: "But what?!"
Homer: "I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"
God: "Hmm... You've got a point there. You know, sometimes even I'd rather be watching football... Does Saint Louis still have a team?"
Homer: "Naw, they moved to Phoenix."
God: "Oh. Right."

Duffman: "Duffman doesn't die. Only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!"

Homer: "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to Clown College!!"
Bart: "I don't think any of us expected that."

Marge: "Homer, John is a ho-"
Homer: "Yes.."
Marge: "mo-"
Homer: "Yes.."
Marge: "sexual."
Homer: "argh!!"

Bart: "Mom, you are lookin' fab-yoo-luss!"

Shanannigan

"I'm gonna nail that cop right between the eyes.... right after this song"

iornman

Me fail English! thats umpossible!

Saint-dotsie

"mmmm forbidden donut"

karma kabbage

Marge: okay now Homer, you're overstimulated. Let's get some beer into you and then it's straight to bed

Homer: (runs and skips down car park) YAY!!! BEER BEER BEER!!!!! BED BED BED!!!!!