Cows

gogo

Probably here before, sorry if they were


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell the herd and retire on the income.


A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create irritating cow cartoon images called
Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a
fantastic profit.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month, and milk themselves.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and
arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The younger one is rather attractive

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
Western suburbs style....
You have 2 stolen bulls but think they are cows
You die the first time you try and milk them.

and my favourite one

ENGLISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.

Both are mad.

PAPILLION

lol.

Pompey Magnus

a few more:

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of three cows. You are truly surprised when the cow drops dead.

A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Your dairy operation is productive, and you sell 80% of the milk to the US market. The American government declares that you are taking advantage of federal subsidies to dump milk on the US market below cost, and slaps you with countervailing duties to protect the interests of the above-mentioned American corporation. Angered and enraged in typical Canadian fashion, you cheer on the Canadian hockey team as they pound the US team 5-2 and win Olympic gold. You let out a cheer, wave the Maple Leaf a bit, then apologize for the outburst and get back to milking your cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have nine cows. You count them again and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you really only have one cow. You stop counting cows and open a bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5 000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit obtained by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Islands shell company covertly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. Provide no balance sheet. The public buys your bull.

cujimmy

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit obtained by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Islands shell company covertly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. Provide no balance sheet. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, PLC
You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

cujimmy

And another......

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

kirn

nanook

cows of the world unite